On a road trip and the sexual tension is driving me crazy!

[UdoKier]

Honey, I'm not speaking for other women, but if all I wanted a "need" fulfilled, I wouldn't go through all this trouble. I don't have any problem getting my needs met when that's what I'm after. But believe it or not, it's ALSO great when you meet someone you genuinely care about AND have your needs met at the same time. You should try it sometime.

Don't get your feathers all ruffled sweetheart. All I was contesting, was another posters assertion that young women(sober) jump into "the sack" faster. You can choose to believe it or not, but I am filling both of someone's needs right now.

[Maple1714]

Yeah, he'll get bored and **** somebody else.

Well, if he does then thats that I guess and he is a douche. She isn't holding out until marriage here guys...whatever happened to foreplay? He's not gonna get bored that easily good god...

[Boisdevie]

Well, if he does then thats that I guess and he is a douche. She isn't holding out until marriage here guys...whatever happened to foreplay? He's not gonna get bored that easily good god...

If I was making out with an adult and things are going well and then they suddenly back off I'd ask myself why? I'd put it down to playing silly games and it wouldn't impress me at all.

[Wakeup]

Don't get your feathers all ruffled sweetheart. All I was contesting, was another posters assertion that young women(sober) jump into "the sack" faster. You can choose to believe it or not, but I am filling both of someone's needs right now.

You're filling A need. You're certainly not filling all the needs that a woman desires when she is looking towards being with a potential life partner. Sex is only sex when that's all you're sharing with one another. Perhaps the women's who's needs you think you are filling don't consider you relationship material?

[Boisdevie]

Perhaps the women's who's needs you think you are filling don't consider you relationship material?

Bitchy bitchy.

[Wakeup]

I think men are bitchy too ~ when they use that comment when a chick will **** them on the first night or "too soon" even.

[TheCafeTerrace]

As for #3, well, that just says a lot about you, doesn't it? I guess if a woman doesn't give it up to you right away, you walk. That's fine. If sex is all you're after, then whatever. I'm looking for more than that.
If I had CONSTANTLY been throwing the goods in his face and then going back, maybe you'd have a point. But it happened once.
If I don't respect myself, I can hardly expect anyone else to.

What's with the idea that having sex with someone means you don't respect yourself? If you want sex and he wants sex, have sex. It's not ****ing poker - just show your hand and don't bother with the mind games. I would be inclined to agree with Boisdevie here, as soon as you turn sex into some sort of test scheme for a man you've turned sex into a commodity, and where's the respect in that?

[Wakeup]

Sex is a commodity. It's been paid and bartered for since the beginning of time. Unfortunately too many men sub-consciously rule out a woman as good relationship material who is not discerning in who she goes to bed with. Sex as a sport isn't for everyone. Nor is it disrespectful to a man, as a woman to wait to get to know who you're about to do.

[haxan]

Two glasses of wine at dinner, but trust me, I didn't "have to" have anything.
Believe it or not, even though what happened was AMAZING, I stopped it before we actually "hooked up". He respected that (I know, I know... what the f*@k am I doing, right?)
I want to stick to my original plan and see how he acts around me during the wedding. If he ends up blowing me off, then I'll know what his real motive was and I can move forward and forget about him. If not, then I have no problem continuing where we left off.

I admire your penchant for tactics, but that's a worthless game plan. If he just wants to notch you on his belt, you think waiting a few days is a big deal? No, it's not.

You can't withhold, or for that matter dish out, pussy, to make a guy stick around. Doesn't work that way sweetheart. We might bed you after the first dinner date and spend the rest of our life with you, or wait around for 6 weeks to see what it's like and not call back the next day.

Hope it works out for you, but the way you went about it will have meant nothing. Just so you know.

[IndiReloaded]

You can't withhold, or for that matter dish out, pussy, to make a guy stick around.
Hope it works out for you, but the way you went about it will have meant nothing. Just so you know.

Don't listen to Haxan, its not true. At least not for the reason he says. Withholding may not make a guy stick around, but it can induce the less patient ones to leave.

I agree that withholding sex to ensnare a man isn't going to get you much *if he's only interested in sex*. But what it does buy you is the time to decide if other aspects of this man's personality (like being okay with a woman's decision to wait) is interesting enough to add the intimacy of sex to the mix. For the most part, it will also let you separate the sexual predators (for whom there is little %age in waiting) from those open to a relationship.

Sex is just part of a relationship. Important, but really only a fraction of the total activity time in a relationship. Far more important to decide if there is potential for even liking the person in day-to-day company.

Given your situation and how little you know each other, I'd probably wait too.

[haxan]

Given your situation and how little you know each other, I'd probably wait too.

You mean your guy picker would be that off, that you could spend 2 weeks traveling cross country, basically 24/7 together and not tell if he was in it just to get laid? C'mon Indi. Not even the greatest 'playa' in the game could pull that off.

Given the fact that she was worked up enough about it to post on a message board (highly doubt he did) about how perfect he is and wanting to have sex with him soooooo badly, do you truly think her waiting a couple of more days until after a wedding reception is a difference maker?

Not buying it

[Boisdevie]

Unfortunately too many men sub-consciously rule out a woman as good relationship material who is not discerning in who she goes to bed with.

I think that the women who sleep with me clearly have very good taste.

Nor is it disrespectful to a man, as a woman to wait to get to know who you're about to do.

And having sex with someone is one of the important ways of getting to know someone. Jeez, she's spent hours in a ****ing car, day after day, with this guy. Presumably by now she'd have a pretty good idea about who he is? But no, she's started to play games.

[searock]

Guys, I think you're just pissed that the way the OP and other women here have described is exactly the way you would act if you were in the guy's shoes. There is nothing wrong in waiting until the wedding and the return trip. She wants to see if he is interested enough to be willing to wait, she wants to see him interact with her friends and just generally observe his behavior. Waiting also makes the sexual tension higher, which is always a good thing when you finally have sex - all the expectation and fantasising . He *might* be just another "player" who is willing to wait months just to "see what it's like" and then leave, but come on, not many players are like that. Most of them just want to get laid asap, and when that doesn't happen, they lose interest and move on. And loads of men don't respect women who are too easy to get in bed with - it's just a sad fact of life. Just yesterday one of my male friends was telling me about an "adventure" of his and he referred to the girl as a "whore", because she jumped into bed with him at the first occasion (never mind that he was doing the exact same thing).

So just, let it go. I think that if he's a good guy, and is really interested in her, waiting a bit (with all the flirting and teasing and conversation) will only make him want her more :-).

[haxan]

I'm having a hard time keeping my mind out of the gutter! lol
He's a super sweet guy, been a total gentleman with me, we get along really well and when we talk (which is all day since we're constantly together), I feel like I've known him for years. He has a great sense of humour... we can laugh and joke about almost anything. And... he's smoking hot. If I could describe my ideal guy in the looks department, he would be it. I find myself daydreaming about the stuff I'd do to him if I could...

searock, 'she's' the one who said these things, they weren't implied by us. What more is there to tease and tempt during a wedding reception that I'm sure hasn't already been done many times over already? That can be over done too, btw. He's an adult you know, 27 yoa. After everything that she's described that she wants (quoted above), and everything that has occurred, it makes zero difference whether or not they wait until after a wedding reception. It's a silly thought process at this point.

I get the fact that women try to employ a defense mechanism against getting played, but you have to develop good people judgement at some point. Inject a little common sense in understanding that having some time frame, or playing games about being intimate can make men as disinterested as they were interested and question your makeup as a person in general. In other words, if you have some brains, use them.

Just yesterday one of my male friends

btw, do you have any female friends? You never mention them if you do.

[searock]

It isn't relevant, why should I mention it? btw, I do, obviously.

I don't think it makes zero difference whether they wait for the wedding or not. Perhaps waiting is part of her people judgement process, it might have worked for her in the past so she's doing it again. If he loses interest in such a short period of time, it means he wasn't that interested to begin with..! Which kind of proves the point anyway :-).

In any case - she feels more comfortable waiting, so she waits. No harm done.