Never had a girlfriend, Am I ugly? [pic]

[pisces7378]

Yeah man, you aren't ugly at all. You are trim, cut hair, and seem to be social enough to flash a thumbs up for the camera.

You can go to the gym all day, and night if you want. I do recommend it for health and the little benefits it will bring you with the ladies. But mostly it is 100% all INNER-GAME that you need to focus on.

And no, I am not talking about some kind of sleezy pick-up line inner-game. I am talking about, there is something that you tell the entire world with your eyes. And that message that I can see, even in your photo, is this... "I will follow you around like a little lost puppy, and will do whatever you tell me to do."

Well there is nothing more putrid smelling to a woman than a man with no confidence. You are the prize. You have to realize that in your world, you are the center of everything you do. A woman is NOT the goal. She is part of the package that is you. And you would be part of the package that is her, as she is the center of her own world. It isn't about arrogance. I find so many times that guys with no self-confidence are very afraid of feeling arrogant. My response to that is... don't worry buddy, you couldn't be arrogant if you started erecting status of yourself.

You should be telling yourself everyday, "I am the prize. Anyone that is to be with me, would be a very smart and lucky girl." And don't waste time saying to yourself things like, "I'm good looking. I'm going to the gym. Just wait until I get those killer muscles, then all the ladies will come running." Screw how you look. Did you hear me??? SCREW HOW YOU LOOK.

I mean, stay clean and smelling nice, and brush your teeth, and keep your hair in order and styled as best you can. Make sure your clothes are in proper order, and maybe even buy some accessories to make yourself feel more stylish. A new awesome watch, a pair of RayBan wayfarer sun glasses, a knee length black wool P-coat, and some proper shoes. But realize that all of that isn't to make you look sexier, nicer, or richer... it is to make you look more confident.

CONFIDENCE is like magic fcuking fairy dust. If you have it, you can sprinkle it over the head of any woman, and voila... she'll love you. And why not??? You are and awesome guy right? If she is a healthy woman, with a brain, and healthy goals in life etc. then she'd be a silly twirp to NOT want to be with a well put together, kind man, that is confident, funny, and drives a freaking BMW. Hell man, I might even want a go with you.

Just forget about how you think you look. But remember this one thing... THEY ARE NOT GOING TO COME TO YOU!!! You have to go to the ladies. Take control of yourself man. Life is too short to waste it posting on internet forums.

[uri]

My experience tells me that women prefer men from dominant social classes. It's what women are genetically programmed to do.

In Brazil for example there are white beauty standards, in television... And white people in Brazil are clearly richer... Even the ultra-high-upper class, is ligher, with more blondism, than middle class.

In Brazil it's very common to see good-looking black men dating enormous blonde women... And also, some weirdish looking gringos, dating amazingly beautiful mulato girls... In Brazil dating a white person is a kind of "bridge" to a higher social degree.

To some black people, a ugly white dating is an oportunity. Not consciously, in mostly cases. To the ugly white person... Since they never experienced racism, their biggest trauma, is being ugly. Dating someone beautiful, of any ethnic group, even poorer or discriminated, would be a victory.

Women like dominant class men. It's not sexism. Obviously women are attracted to "respected" or "well succeded" men. Do not relativize it. It's a perfectly acceptable generalization.

Women will always prefer men from dominant social classes, if they were Maoris, they would love them too... When Germans invaded France, French girls WANTED to date German soldiers. And after Germans were kicked off, French men shaved those girl's heads. Greek men hanged Greek women, who dated Italian invaders.

If the US invades Brazil, Brazilian girls will be INSTANTLY DATING AMERICAN SOLDIERS... Brazilian girls would chase them as fresh expensive meat, and Brazilian men, would call them all "whores"...

That's Human Kind.

[DoesntMatter]

It's cause you drive a BMW. Invest in a Lamborghini or Ferrari and you WILL get girls

[Primo]

You seem to be social enough to flash a thumbs up for the camera.

Screw how you look. Did you hear me??? SCREW HOW YOU LOOK.

buy some accessories to make yourself feel more stylish. A new awesome watch, a pair of RayBan wayfarer sun glasses, a knee length black wool P-coat, and some proper shoes.... it is to make you look more confident.

Pretty good post pisces, though I'm not following this logic very well. Baz is fine, when he finishes his e-book he'll be rolling in Euro babes

[pisces7378]

Uri is DEFINITELY right on a socio/anthropological scale. If you examine attraction historically, class, or at least the perception of class, does play a role.

But I find that to be a very complex situation to carry around in your head when you are just trying to pick up a girl at a bar, or even at the library. Your best bet is to become confident.

How? You might ask. Well, I am a huge believe in the "fake it, until you make it" philosophy. Who cares if you really ARE confident. Just act confident. I don't mean start chewing on a match stick, and wearing your sunglasses inside like some ridiculous Sylvester Stalone movie. I don't mean changing the way you walk or trying to lower your speaking voice. You CANNOT fake those things. Women can see right through bullshit like a laser guided, armor piercing, high impact, projectile.

What you CAN do, is start talking to people. ANYONE. In the beginning, just make it a point to strike up a random conversation with at least 5 people in one day. Not huge conversation. Even if you just plop down on a bench and make a comment about the weather. That counts. They don't have to be girls. You can start by talking to an old man in line at the post office. Just talk. And over time, try to see how long you can extend the conversations without becoming weird or annoying. Use the same stories over and over if you have to.

You will naturally begin to learn people. You will be able to read when this lady feels threatened by you, and how you can put her at ease. Or this guy is a real talker, and how to get away from him politely. It is all about getting to know human beings, and how we all communicate. You can trust me when I say that this simple exercise will grow your self-confidence ten fold. You must keep it up always. If you stop talking to people, the confidence will atrophy, and you will back slide.

Confidence is like a snow ball, once you get it rolling, it just grows and grows. The simplest of exercises gets it rolling.

[bazM]

just back from the gym there, thanks for your comments guys. Iv not been out at the clubs since iv posted this yet but hopefully next time im out im gonna talk to a girl/girls. I really need to start not caring.

This forum is better than I thought

[kapneb92]

Watch 'Hitch'. Does wonders. Learn some dance moves from it too.

[uri]

Uri is DEFINITELY right on a socio/anthropological scale. If you examine attraction historically, class, or at least the perception of class, does play a role.

Wealth is certaintly a factor here but being a nice person is too. I think that not many women will want to date a egocentric, mean or rude guy no matter how rich or good-looking he is. A relationship with such a person is doomed to fail.

Unfortunately, in the selfish and highly competitive world we live in, love is really difficult to find unless you want to join a Unification Church or something. That's not to say love doesn't exist but I think our world really suffers from lack of love.

Nowadays love has become more like a market or like something you must buy or compete with others to get. People lose their modesty. Women are not modest anymore as they used to be and are taught by modern society to seek wealth and power.

[thrillaveza]

you look like someone that had at least a couple of girlfriends. i guess you just have to spit your game right? i am exactly how you describe yourself. i'm short (5'4), i am close to your age (20, 21 in april) and skinny and shy as well. me too haven't been in a legit relationship in my life. i've dated girls but when it came to becoming more serious, i got let down. but these rejections and let downs wont get the best of me. just think more positive and have confidence in yourself.

[BoredGeorge]

BoredGeorge is the forum misogynist and complains the most about his failed love life... so it may not be wise to accept advice from him... just a courtesy.

I didn't see you as effiminate. You're just a regular guy who happens to be a little short. Nothing that really matters when you have confidence in yourself.

I am not a misogynist I just think looks are important.

You don't think he is effiminate ? Then wtf do you call effeminite ? Quit pissing in the guys pocket like all women do he needs to look more manly and badass.

[bazM]

anyone into cars here? Heres a pic of my car



Its a BMW M Sport 2 litre engine. I love it to be honest. That is not my registration I now have a private plate on it. Im gonna tint the windows and get HID's for it. (anyone who is into car modifying will know here).

Back to the girls, I had a really good day at work today. I get on really well with my colleagues and have a good laugh. Its because they are all good people and stuff but Im not like attracted to any of them (like them) thats why I think I get on with them more. How do I act like this with people I am attracted to or like.


This is a friday night but im staying in tonight as I have work tomorrow at 1pm but im also trying to save money so I can do the modifications to my car.

I was at the gym there Monday, tuesday, wednesdsay and thursday for on average 2 hours per time. It makes me feel good afterwards and during it because Im not thinking about woman and not thinking about negative things.

Yea i have dated a few girls. I was seeing someone there for four months. She was very sexy (and I mean it). I could never really understand why she was with me. But i was not attracted to her personality. I just couldn't fall in love with her. I think she was too good for me looks wise. And I was too good for her persons wise to be honest.

Writing this comment just now im actually feeling pretty good. I dont have any woman on the go or anything but im looking on the positive things. only 21 and achieved a decent enough job (work for the police for people that are intersted *not a cop*, and so i wouldnt class myself as an idiot lol), got a degree, nice car (imo offcourse), only 21, i do stay with my parents right enough but i fink thats a big factor thats got me where I am today. and I wouldn't say im toooo ugly lol (hopefully). You know, not having a girlfriend for the past few years in my life has really made be do okay for myself, or well for myself. I look back and realise that all my mates were all getting involved in relationships, having children, having heartbreaks. And I was myself but i was going for job interviews, studying at college and uni, and just doing my hobbies of working on my car and making websites and stuff. I really think what I have done, and what they have done I have been placed in a much better position because I never thought about relationships during those times, when others did. But now that I have got my job, my degree, my car...when a relationship does come along, i will be complete to be honest (if it works out haha lol).

Need to stay positive which will hopefully lead to being more confident.

[Gigabitch]

I'm glad you're working on the arms, baz. A good set of shoulders is crucial to sexiness.

My husband was on the rowing team in college. I recommend it.

[the algerian]

if that's how you feel, women are the least of your concerns. self-destructive reflections like that rarely stay within the confines of your romantic life, often eclipsing work, family and your own potential as an individual.

you have to ask the fundamental question: so what?

many people are unaware of this, but those of us living in the west are essentially sitting on a lottery ticket. there are much more individuals who yearn for a life where their largest grievance was picking up women. there are 7 year old Afghan children who are the breadwinners of their family, often supporting their mother and several younger siblings. there are children in parts of Algeria (my country of origin) who tie a rope around their stomaches to ease the pain resulting from hunger.

big deal if a girl doesn't like you. it's just a girl. it's not like she's in anyway better than you or superior. she's not. you should see her rejection not as your loss but her's. that way, it won't matter as much.

i have a colleague who routinely gets rejected by women. 7-8 times a day! he laughs it off, often telling me that the rejections are actually quite humorous. he loves the glib excuses or weird faces a girl makes, and it doesn't affect him the slightest.

live life like that. you'll be much happier in the end.

[bazM]

you know what, iv lived my life always thinking and saying to myself im not good enough for her. I need to try change my ways and always say to myself is she good enough for me. I am trying my hardest to think this way now.

I have added two paragraphs to my book about that. I was out in town latnight. I actually had a good night was quite happy even though I never chatted to any girls or anything.

[Aeradalia]

I am not a misogynist I just think looks are important.

You don't think he is effiminate ? Then wtf do you call effeminite ? Quit pissing in the guys pocket like all women do he needs to look more manly and badass.

A misogynist hates women boredgeorge... and just about every other post you have on here belittles women in some way. So... if you don't want the label then stop fitting the definition.

"Manly" and "badass" you say? How's that technique working out for you? Which do you think he should listen to? Advice from a man who isn't a success in the dating field because he won't let go of his loathing of women... or from women who are willing to offer insight into what they are looking for in a man anyway?

He doesn't appear effiminate to me, in that I wouldn't mistaken him for a woman. Is he burley and drenched in testosterone? Well no... but then again, not all women can appreciate the 'caveman' look anyway. He appears to be an intellectual male and therein lies his power -- if he so chooses to develop it. Through this he could become the confident, powerful provider that women innately seek out in varying degrees. He could also be a reliable, intelligent companion which is also something women desire in men as well.

He has everything he needs to be a success if he just develops the resources he has.