Sex?

[ammi00]

You should stop finding all kind of excuses for him and his behavior. Stop assuming that much what's in his head. Btw, you said you're both 18, now you're... not, hmmm?
If he would have respected you, he would have ****ed you a loooong time ago.

[hello1]

Wait so he asked you for anal? he is a virgin and you are and he seems more likely to go near you butt than your front. I know you may love him but this guy is bad news, getting erections means nothing to young men to be honest. He should be wanting to have sex with you. Again do not waste your time with this man.

[quietandshy]

I was going to say he sounds really immature. That is probably mixed in with nerves. People do and say dumb shit when they are nervous. I find the anal thing really strange too.

You should stop finding all kind of excuses for him and his behavior. Stop assuming that much what's in his head. Btw, you said you're both 18, now you're... not, hmmm?
If he would have respected you, he would have ****ed you a loooong time ago.

It does kind of seem like you are looking for excuses. Have you talked to him about this behavior? What does he say his reason is?

[GagaRoma]

I don't know how much longer I can put up with this.
It's like I am ready to move on to the next stage of the relationship and he's not.
It's seriously even affecting my dreams. For the past few nights all of my dreams have dealt with situations involving me and him and how we are so close to having sex but then don't. It's only a reflection of how I have unfulfilled desires, but I need to address that.
I really need to talk to him about it because it's like torture, essentially.
It's partially my fault though because I need to speak to him more about it. I feel like him and I are both sort of beating around the bush when it comes to the subject and what we want. We seriously just need to talk about it.
If I am still not happy after I talk to him I am seriously considering leaving because it's great I can be so close to him emotionally and have fun but I want more than that physically at this point. Is it unusual for a woman to leave a man because the man didn't want to have sex? It just seems like it's not common for it to work out that way.

[Raze]

I personally think sex is very important in a relationship. I love sex. I would leave him.

[hello1]

Normal? well it not just the no sex which is the problem but the rejection. Many women wouldn't have stayed as long as you have done. Yeah have a final talk with him, if not then he is gay

[GagaRoma]

I talked to him today about how I feel about everything. I told him how frustrated I was and how I want to go further and how I essentially felt rejected. I told him how I felt mislead and how I was confused. Which he told me he wasn't rejecting me and that he just wanted to be sure before he did anything. Then he said how he would be nervous if the condom would break or fall off. So he is nervous about that. Then He told me how he planned to wait until he was married to have sex (he's not religious though) well I kind of wish he told me that from the start! But then he said how he'd either wait until he was married or until he found someone he cared about and trusted, which he said he did, and that person was me. Then I told him how morally he clearly values his virginity and how I would never want him to do anything if he felt obligated. Then he told me he wouldn't feel as if he had to and that he would want to with me because he loves me. In a way I still feel kind of bad if he really wanted to intend to save it for marriage, but at the same time he clearly told me what he wants and that he wants to have sex with me.*

[MadMardegan]

I talked to him today about how I feel about everything. I told him how frustrated I was and how I want to go further and how I essentially felt rejected. I told him how I felt mislead and how I was confused. Which he told me he wasn't rejecting me and that he just wanted to be sure before he did anything. Then he said how he would be nervous if the condom would break or fall off. So he is nervous about that. Then He told me how he planned to wait until he was married to have sex (he's not religious though) well I kind of wish he told me that from the start! But then he said how he'd either wait until he was married or until he found someone he cared about and trusted, which he said he did, and that person was me. Then I told him how morally he clearly values his virginity and how I would never want him to do anything if he felt obligated. Then he told me he wouldn't feel as if he had to and that he would want to with me because he loves me. In a way I still feel kind of bad if he really wanted to intend to save it for marriage, but at the same time he clearly told me what he wants and that he wants to have sex with me.*

So why aren't you and him together right now doing it instead of telling us?

[Boisdevie]

So why aren't you and him together right now doing it instead of telling us?

Exactly - he should have ripped off your clothes there and then. But again he didn't. So a guy has a woman in front of him explaining that she wants to make love to him and what does he do - apart from some nice words - NOTHING. We've been telling you forever, leave him. He's obviously an idiot or dead from the waist down.

[hello1]

What is wrong with you?? This guy is saying and doing anything under the book to NOT have sex with you. I bet three years down the line when you look him up on facebook, he be kissing his boyfriend in a profile picture. Find a NORMAL BOYFRIEND.

[northerngirl82]

Forget the gay chat, it's more likely that he's more immature than you (a fact that girls mature faster than guys), and he's just nervous about doing it for the first time. Everyone's nervous when losing their virginity, and even more so if they value it highly. I'm curious though, as he doesn't have a religious background, what is it that's made him value virginity so much? My eldest brother waited til he was married (age 30), but that's because my family's religious, but what's your boyfriend's reason for holding it in such high regard? I'm not saying it's a bad thing, by any means....the fact you have a guy who hasn't just wanted to shag some random girl as soon as his penis works, just to get it over with and show off to his mates, is a good thing.....but the fact he's giving you mixed signals seems to me like there's something more to this. This is totally a shot in the dark, but has he had some bad experiences in the past regarding sexual activity, i.e. was he ever touched inappropriately as a kid, which could have created a sense of fear about the whole thing? I'm guessing (and hoping) the answer will be no, but it's just another possibility.

I think you maybe need to be a bit more assertive....I know you've had a proper chat with him, but you're still no better off, as you knew he wanted to sleep with you before you had the chat. If he's just nervous, and isn't holding out for any other reasons, then maybe he just needs to bite the bullet and it might take you to lead the way. Good luck, and let us know if you have success!!