hi there...
honestly, it sounds like the girl lied and cried like she did because there is a lot of shame and hurt.
13 is very young to have sex. this doesn't sound like a pure situation, or one where she may have really understood what she was doing...
counseling may be good. but...it sounds to me that you are closer to her first sexual experience than what happened in the past. for the sake of her well being, i wouldn't reject her now. she really put herself out there by disclosing this. she needs love. it will do a lot for her to receive it from you...
peace
lol waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
Sorry? Who writes who private messages about how hurt their feelings are? Was that me? Or you?
Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.
I'm abandoning this thread.
i didn't know you would be so upset about being a bitch.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
that sentence doesn't even make sense.
Is it burnin'? Well, f-ck, now you're learnin'.
Best post so far^.
Coming back to fill us in, Pompous? Or were you a troll? Some of us are still willing to help.
Did you think about how you would give advice if this were your sister, not your GF? (and you weren't the boy abusing her, of course) Thirteen is ridiculously young for *any* sex 'consentual' or otherwise, btw. No sex is consentual at that age.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Yesterday it got a bit roudy when I suggested counseling for these kids. Now I'd like to clear something a bit up in regards to this (and this is my fault because I didn't specify clearly what I had in mind, so I hope you can bear with me for one minute and read all the way to the end instead of jumping the gun right away):
When I mentioned counseling I had in mind something called teen pre-marriage counseling, (don't jump the gun yet) which are basicaly 4 to 5 sessions of 2 hours, where those kids get information on how to properly communicate (as in speaking and listening > something a lot of people have a hard time with or have never learned), using non-agressive ways to communicate feelings (as in for example using 'I' statements), how to set healthy boundaries, how to argue in a fair way and all those things. Those are skills which are valuable to any relation.
So I was not talking about this psycho babbel navel gazing pop 'em full with meds and charge them to the hilt stuff , basicaly just decent good FREE advice on how to create a healthier environment for their relation from people who care and do this pretty much on a daily base, adjusted to the couples needs. They don't have to be married, they just have to be a couple, hence the name.
The reason I suggested this, is because I want those kids to have a chance, no matter how small, if not in this relation, then hopefuly in the next one, because they both come from a toxic environment, and chances their parent gave them those relation skills are pretty much close to zero.
Now you may say, hey, we can give them this advice to. Sure, we can, however, those people are experienced in these things and will look at their individual needs and emphazise on those. Additionally I have a hard time imagining how we could explain them both how to communicate (speaking, listening) without being in the same room as them.
So in my opinion, this is good, sollid advice that is in their benefit.
I hope I am making sense here.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I read it. I don't put much stock in a 13-year old's 'consent' to sexual activity. I wouldn't call it the informed decision of a mature adult. I am viewing it as a mistake due to lack of proper guidance, which it most certainly was.
Pompous, should you ever come back, do you have any trusted authority figures in your life? A doctor, teacher, clergy, or something like? They might be able to suggest some more direct help.
Good luck hun.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Pompous, you sound like a sweet kid, actually. I appreciate your attempt to protect her feelings by keeping some of your harsh thoughts to yourself.
I still think it's unlikely that she just "loved" him. He was her stepbrother, for God's sake. I'll bet she's pretty twisted.
How old was he when all of this happened?
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