I only read your first two or three posts which is all I needed to come to that conclusion. There has been red flags, warning signs, snooping, mistrust etc since the beginning of your relationship. If that were me I would have walked away 4months in and not let myself get sucked into something so damaging and dysfunctional. I get the impression you are both as bad as each other and not good together. My only advice is to end this now for good and walk away
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".