should money matter in a relationship?

[CAM]

Money matters....to varying degrees and varying way, perhaps....but it does matter. If it didn't matter, why is it that money issues are one of the top reasons associated with divorce?

In a perfect world, it wouldn't matter and we'd live the dream of the Romantic Era. But we don't live in a perfect world.

Should it matter? NO

Does it matter? YES

[Tiay]

why exactly shouldn't it matter, really?

[vashti]

I think it should matter.

[CAM]

It shouldn't matter if we lived in some kind of utopia where we were all self-actualizing and coming to terms with who we really are and who other people really are and aspire to be...blah, blah, blah.

Suffice to say, that world doesn't exist, so other things are going to play a role in the differentiation process of choosing a mate. Money and what it buys is one of the dimensions.

[tooxshort]

I think money matters more during family planning ... I really want to live the simple life ... I am willing to live within my means with some extra perks here and there ... also, I think it's a cultural thing.

For example, in the Philippines, there are some super poor people out there who are still married with children AND are happy living in a one room shack.

Sometimes I feel like we're all a part of some rat race chasing the cheddar (moolah ... that damn cheese) ...

But I love paying for things when I can ...

But Vash, you could move to the burbs and pay less ... or even northern Cali where the homes are big and cheap! (if u dont mind commuting 2 hrs to work)

[jurupa]

But Vash, you could move to the burbs and pay less ... or even northern Cali where the homes are big and cheap! (if u dont mind commuting 2 hrs to work)

She can do the same thing down here as well as they are building way out in the desert now. But those houses have no back yard and your neighbor is 2 feet from your house. These new houses I like to call farm housing.

[Katty]

Money definately matters in a relationship. When one person is not working (like other ppl said before) it causes major issues with your partner. Believe me, I've been there quite a few times - and it sucks! I'm really finding the wrong men here I found myself broke. A lot! That's how three of my relationships ended. I think people should make around the same amount of money as their partner does. Everything should be spent equally. It's okay to pick up the tab here and there, but not always.

[vashti]

I personally feel an obligation to be sure I can afford for my kids to get through college, and a husband who detracts me from that goal would never have been an option. I don't care about a lot of "things" except education and safety. I don't mind close neighbors, but the LA desert nowadays is gangster territory, so no thanks. I don't care to live in a high-crime area.

Shorty - in LA, the 'burbs cost more than downtown, and I already live in the 'burbs because that is where the schools are good. Here is some advice for you in your new married life: buy the cheapest house you can get in the area with the best schools, and find work in that area if you can. Your family won't want you commuting 4 hours a day.

[tooxshort]

Shorty - in LA, the 'burbs cost more than downtown, and I already live in the 'burbs because that is where the schools are good. Here is some advice for you in your new married life: buy the cheapest house you can get in the area with the best schools, and find work in that area if you can. Your family won't want you commuting 4 hours a day.

That's true ... I almost didn't even think that far ahead ... which is not that far at all! I wouldn't want to commute anyway because the community I want to counsel in is my very own. I need to be in San Francisco. I love it here. It's about the only place I know ...

[jurupa]

Shorty - in LA, the 'burbs cost more than downtown, and I already live in the 'burbs because that is where the schools are good. Here is some advice for you in your new married life: buy the cheapest house you can get in the area with the best schools, and find work in that area if you can. Your family won't want you commuting 4 hours a day.

Vashti if you and your hubby could afford a $650,000 plus house you could have lived where I am living. Because all of the schools around my house are good to say the least.