Tips and advice on how to forget someone

[Palilas]

There are many programs, David DeAngelo's is one of them, who teach you how to start with women, what to say on the first time and how to make yourself more attractive to girls.

What they don't teach is how to get over someone who is not attracted to you or that doesn't love you back. I realized that all the teachings on how to start and be more attractive to women won't work when you're still obsessing over someone who doesn't love you back.

Having a crush or being infatuated with someone who doesn't feel the same for you happens to almost everyone even to the most handsome and famous guys and in most cases it can be a painful and agonizing experience.

So here I collected a list of tips on how to get over someone you love who doesn't love you back. These advice really helped me a lot. The advice is equally true both for men and women:

1. Get your mind off of him/her. The most important thing is not to be alone. Surround yourself with family and friends, the people who love you unconditionally and spend more quality time with them.

2. Ask yourself what might be in his head or his heart; it takes two people to be in a relationship and even though you feel the way that you do, maybe it was meant to be this way. Save your love for someone who feels the same way about you!

3. Love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realise that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. He gave me the strength to realise that I can move on. He gave me the courage to try something different. He gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

4. For all those wondering what went wrong just stop wondering say it really aloud "SHE IS JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". Only when one stops chasing and pursing someone who doesn't love you, will you open the door to that perfect person who will love you back with the same intensity that you will love him.

5. It's not about getting over a person, it's about feeling good about yourself. It's about knowing that you are the most important and you need to be happy. If this other person doesn't feel the same way, it doesn't really matter.

6. This situation is always an unfortunate one. It is ideal for 2 people to love each other the same, and at the same pace, but life is never ideal. To get this kind of relationship to work, you need patience! you have to weigh either waiting for her or moving on as options. If your feelings are real, and you choose to hang in there, you must not scare her away with your feelings! If things are meant to work out, you should be great friends before lovers anyway. While you let both your feelings reach equilibrium, you'll find it becomes easier sometimes just to ignore your strong feelings for her and just kick-back and chill with her. It's not always important to impress her, or do nice things for her in a loving way. It may give you hope to know that she can see you in the same light, just not so quickly.

7. Try to find and see the flaws in your love object. When you're infatuated with someone you see them as a completely perfect, flawless person capable of doing no wrong. Remind yourself that your image of them is quite irrational. The madness of infatuation creates many unrealities. You perceive your love object as vastly more wonderful than is real. Learn to see that your love object has faults, flaws, and the normal number of human quirks. Remind yourself that your image of this person is unrealistic. Remind yourself also that no one can live up to your imagination. The more you remember this the sooner your will get your feelings much more in proportion.

8. Love is a peculiar thing. There is an almost ludicrous asymmetry between two people. The person at the top of your best friend list may rank you only at the middle of his or her list. However, if you truly, truly loved someone, then you'd be able to realise that it's OK if they don't love you back. True love gives and expects nothing in return; a true unrequited love. So, I've moved on from my perfect potential companion. He gave me the strength to realise that I can move on. He gave me the courage to try something different. He gave me the wisdom and sense for me to also respect myself. So, if you truly loved them, it doesn't matter if they feel the same way, your love conquers all.

9. If you belive in destiny then you have know that things happen when they are meant to be. People part for reasons beyond human comprehension but the reality remains if you are meant to love each other and be with each other, it will happen. That's the power of destiny. Love always wins. Love is important and only it counts.

10. The older I get, the more I believe that some people are full of the capacity to love - like me - and others are incapable of it in the romantic sense, for whatever reason. Fear of committment. A distorted view of freedom. The desire to stay young forever. A deep unwillingness to give themselves over to another (aka, selfish). It is an absolute rock and a hard place. Loving someone who doesn't love you back is the most impossible situation imaginable, especially when the love is so strong you are a slave to it.

11. Deal with reality. Stop hoping, dreaming, etc. Pray and tell God that you forgive them for not being able to love you. Ask God to take this from you - and He will. Then continue to deal with reality. Don't tell yourself, maybe someday... they'll change...

12. True love accepts the person for who they are, even when they are bad and they don't love you. It means accepting reality. When you love and accept reality at the same time, you are forced to move on. When you deal with reality and move on without love, you take bitterness with you. When you love without dealing with reality, you hurt yourself. Love the other person, Accept the reality and pray to God for the wisdom and strength you'll need to do that continuously until it ceases to become a problem.

13. There is one more thing I can recommend. There are times when you feel very weak and feel you need to talk to that other person even though they may have just hurt you again, you don't know why you want to talk to them, you just do. I've been able to get by these weak moments by writing down exactly what I'm feeling at the time, it comes out in a jumble of feelings and thoughts, some not so pleasant, but in the end it actually helps and I don't feel to call the person anymore. For everyone out there, keep strong and keep your head up, there are better days ahead.

14. Remember that life goes on. You had a life before them and you will have a happy life after them. It's up to you whether you want to keep dwelling on the past or just keep moving. Memories can haunt us but the best way to deal with them is to bury them where they belong, in the past. You've got to start looking to the future.

Hi all,

I'm new at here and don't know much about love but i could say only that forgetting someone is very difficult and its becomes more difficult when you know that the person loves you too. But certain circumstances arise where you have to forget someone. It would be good if you keep yourself away for the person whom you love.
Thanks

[humili]

If love is deep and real , people dun just forget about their real love so easily!

[philiptay]

Welll ,it been coming to half of year since i break off with my ex. 3 year of relationship why it ended partly is my faulty , everyday i been thinking of her but i knew she move on well i still at the same place but i know life still goes on and we had other responsible to hold beside relationship issue .Everyday is a new day for me as i had to think of way to stop thinking of her and doing my work .well i beileve only Time will heal .

cheer s

[playfulfox]

evolution is a fat lie but I don't hate those who believe it but girls check it out guys are now trying to say that
evolution causes them to want to be with more than one girl and that they cannot help but want to cheat or
be with many women verses one yet you see how hard guys take break up's and how many of them are very
loyal so do u really believe these strange theories? if so thats your call,I don't buy any of it and I also have
7 brothers and I know that guys want what girls want,society is to blame for the set up & all the confusion!

[playfulfox]

if evolution makes guys wants to breed and have sex with many females thats totally against nature and not only that I know alot of males & know that they are loyal
and desire loyal mates.Women are not all loyal nor do they all wish to be.Trying to label or put labels and generalizations on the sexes is wrong because no two people
are the same,we are all individuals and we all have different ways about us that make each person one of a kind and sexually we are all different as well,I date great
males who are gentlemen because thats what I like but none of us are the same or even close.We feel love & many of us want love,a special bond with only one other
person.Love is not random and it's not just a BANG,it's real and there is a great reason why we love and need love! No accident! DNA is no accident either!

[playfulfox]

it is also the males that need viagra & even younger males use it,as young as 26 years old! It's a male thing to be homosexual not anything to do with females at all,and it's a female
thing to be a lesbian.Everyone is different but most people want a mate,just one mate! why is that? look at the site enotalone. many broken hearted males there. why?

[playfulfox]

evolution isn't the issue here or the cause to any of this.this is a human thing and it's about the human heart! we love & we feel.we bond & we mate. when we love it can be very deep
and it takes time to heal and yes,we can and we do heal.Love is a very serious condition of the heart! the human heart!!!

[EnemyOfMyEnemy]

Mine ended fully today, long time coming but still a punch in the guts. Thank you for this post I'm sure when I'm ready this will help me move on

[want2heal]

This post has been really helpful. I come and visit this page and read it when I feel down. Thank you!

[Missed]

thanks to this one.

[ashley89]

I don't really see how you could ever truly "forget" someone... sure, when a relationship ends we have to go through the grieving process and learn to move along because sitting pining over our ex isn't healthy. But how can you just completely forget them and pretend they never existed? Even if someone has hurt us so badly, they were a part of our life and we have so many memories with them. We obviously got into a relationship with them for a reason, it's not like we were forced to. And the majority of the times in the relationship should have been good ones (at least they were in my situation). So I don't really see how it is possible to forget someone and just erase them from our memories and lives forever... why not move on, get over the fact that the relationship is over, but always remember the fun times we had and take away a lesson or two from the relationship to help us in the future?

[readymade77]

I have a similar situation where I have serious feelings for a girl but it is completely irrational. She is way too young and is addicted to money and power. First step! I would suggest to stop looking at photos or videos of the person. Stop associating with people that know her. If you are distraught then put a radio next to your bedside and set it on a very low volume to a station that is very tolerable like jazz or NPR. To say "this will pass" is an understatement. Everyone is different. But the house of cards that is folding in your mind will eventually heal. It took me 3 weeks to actually feel "ok" again. And most users who say "only a few rare are special" are right. Boy are they right. But guess what? There are 40 billion people in the world and how many do you actually know? 3? 5? Just play the odds. Girls are everywhere.

[readymade77]

I'm sorry, but I forgot to add that I have been having nightmares and can't sleep. I fall asleep for 3 minuets and then when i wake up I have cold sweats. Nightmares that she has died or that I hurt her in some way. In the endless search of google I hope someone hears this and can console in this. In the 6 year period that I knew her, it was a serious house of cards that I was unconsciously building in my mind. I knew I could never be with her but nevertheless I loved to death spending time with her. I would spend time with her today if I could, but I now realize that this is some sort of mental illness that really should be discussed. How about starting a new thread about girls (or people you know) that your in love with but there is no chance in hell of ever being with them. I don't know how to start a thread though. I just joined 5 minuets ago.

[readymade77]

You can never really forget someone!
Time will heal bs is a myth.

But you can try to at least just remember all the good times you had.
You do move on as they say, but I don't believe you ever forget.
Just love the one your with!

You allways have to think what you did wrong, right? It tears me apart the idea that I was the one that caused this breakup.

[ashley89]

I don't know how to start a thread though. I just joined 5 minuets ago.

there's a big blue button on the top of the main forum page that says +Post New Thread