When Should A Couple Have Sex First?????????

[snckrs]

Basil, that comment was not directed to you. That was in response to the other gentlemen, who was implying that a woman has to have sex with a guy in order to show she is interested.

[basilandthyme]

Basil, that comment was not directed to you. That was in response to the other gentlemen, who was implying that a woman has to have sex with a guy in order to show she is interested.

But I agree with him in a switched genders way. If a guy wasn't keen to have sex with me, I'd figure he wasn't in to me and move on. Well, that and the whole issue of incompatibility.

This isn't about right/wrong way to approach. This is an issue of finding people who have similar mindset to you.

[snckrs]

Even if the person would say, hey Im into you, and really like you but I want to wait a little bit so we know each other better so our first time is special?

[basilandthyme]

Nope. I'd chalk it up to incompatibility. This guy would be far too serious for me.

[snckrs]

Well now that is unfortunate. But for the young women for whom I made this post for, I hope they would not have that same mind set.

[basilandthyme]

Unfortunate for who?

[snckrs]

Just saying that it is unfortunate. Not for anyone.

[basilandthyme]

If it's not unfortunate for anyone, then its not unfortunate at all.

[Wakeup]

Even if the person would say, hey Im into you, and really like you but I want to wait a little bit so we know each other better so our first time is special?

Like you said snkrs... there are other ways to show people that you're interested then having sex.

I'd certainly not want a man to tell me he'd like to wait until we know each other better but to just go with the flow and show through actions and kissing and sexual innuendo and building that anticipation for when the time is right.

[snckrs]

Exactly. And in a real situation I would have worded it differently. Much more romantic and meaingful and such.

[basilandthyme]

Much more romantic and meaingful and such.

And this is also what I'm talking about with compatibility. I want a guy who's keen for some hot fun sex....I'm not into romantic and meaningful....not even with a partner I love. Heck, eye contact during sex freaks me out.

Not that there's anything wrong with you wanting that, but we don't all want the same thing...hence having different approaches to finding what works for us.

[snckrs]

Well then Basil, Id have you running far away. Im all about the romantic and meaningful.

[basilandthyme]

Yes indeed. And I'm sure I wouldn't tick the boxes for you either.

While you want to recommend your approach, I'm more about recognising that a 'one size fits all' approach isn't going to work...because we don't all want the same thing.

[dickriculous]

Well then Basil, Id have you running far away. Im all about the romantic and meaningful.

Nothing wrong with being romantic and meaningful, but you lost me with the implication that romance and meaning are created by imposing strict constraints, rules, timelines, and restrictions around one's sexuality. Those things are extremely unsexy to me, they belong in politics moreso than the bedroom. When the work uniform comes off is when I'm supposed to not have to worry about so much about all that shit anymore (within the bounds of reason, of course).

Personally, I see romance as being spontaneous and free-spirited, as opposed to arbitrarily regulated by rules and timeframes.

[snckrs]

I dont like strick rules either. Or like a one size fits all approch. But thats all I could come up with to help these young girls who are wandering aimlessly around, getting their heart broken and not knowing why. Society today has told them that if they dont put out they wont get a man, which isnt true. It might take longer, but she will find someone. That if they dont have sex within the first three dates a good man is going to leave. Which isnt true. That a they have to get to know a guy between rounds of sex. Also not true. She can say, I want to wait 3 months, 2 months, hell even one, that way she knows more about the fellow shes going to allow inside her. Now if a woman wants to be a f@(# buddy, then by all means go ahead. Have as much as you wont. But a woman who wants to wait, shouldnt feel pressure from a man or society to have sex before she is ready.