What do women think about dolls? (see links)

[Incognito]

Sounds to me like you want a divorce but can't bring yourself to it. Do you have kids, sorry if I missed that.

As for those women who have lots of sex... might want to ask them how LONG they've been married to their current partner. There is something called the Honeymoon phase. I'm not putting any of the other ladies down, just in perspective. Giga might want to mention how much sex she was having with her ex in the years before they split and how satisfying it was. Bluesum is engaged to be married to a great guy after a horrific divorce. Those types of life events changes ones perspective.

Vash & I have been married the longest here, far as I know. I've been with my husband for 20 years, married for most of them. First marriages, both of us.

While we don't get it on like rabbits anymore several times a day (not all the time, anyway), we certainly enjoy sex on a regular basis. Its a bonding and stress-releasing experience. But we did go through a bad patch of our marriage (about a year) where neither of us was feeling too friendly, much less frisky, towards the other. Such things pass and are a normal part of marriage, IMO.

Women enjoy sex with men who meet their emotional needs. Men tend to come at it from the other direction. It sounds to me that neither of you communicate all that well. Its easy to pin this all on your wife, but I know from experience that such states rarely happen in a vacuum. I would suggest getting some couple's counselling to sort out some of your deeper issues.

Good luck.

I don't have any kids. She had one before we met. The funny thing about the whole physical vs. emothional dynamic is that I used to be a man who showed emotion, caring , and affection all the time (for anyone who is thinking it: no I didn't cry while watching girlie movies with my wife ) That man died in 2007 after much marital turmoil. Today I try to stay in touch with the bits that are left by hugging occassionally (which is usually not willingly reciprocated), and affectionate comments/compliments (which are usually shot down and followed up with comments like "I feel like a fat pig"). Generally speaking I don't do these things often because of the response that I usually get. I used to slap her butt every now and then (playfully, not forcefully), but after an argument about how she feels like that action objectifies her as a woman, I never did it again. I don't do much these days except the usual everday activities.

[Incognito]

So.....cheating is screwing up, but sexual deprivation is not? So you've resolved to living in misery and sticking it out to keep the moral high ground. Damn, give me your address and I'll send some hottie over to rock your wife's world and tape it for you. Problem solved.

Oh, and Indi.....i'm sure our sex life will slow down over the years. But I enjoy it now so much more so because of our actual bond/emotional connection (which I can experience without the sex, but it's still nice that way too). I'm not so unrealistic to think it's going to be this rampant in 20 years. However, it certainly will never get to the point Incognito is at, never. If things were that way in my marriage and we couldn't patch it up after counselling, I'd probably check out.

Believe me (seriously), if it were possible for you to send someone over who would get her hot enough to cheat AND got it on tape I'd pay you everything in my savings account. That would make my year!.....No that would make my LIFE!

[Incognito]

Pulverized viagra would work better...

Grind it up, slip it into something she wouldn't suspect and spend some non-sexual time with her, enjoying each others company.

Do it 2-3 times... she won't be able to ignore the engorgement down there while her mind is also being stimulated.

But don't make the first move.

Gradually, over time... reduce the amount of pulverized Viagra in her foodstuffs.

Never tell her anything about it, whether it works out for you or not.

I'll really have to think about this for two reasons. One, I'm not sure if I'd ever want to admit to drugging her if I was asked. Two, I'm not sure of the safeness of this. I'll do some research. Maybe if it is safe I won't have a problem admitting to it (if asked).

[Prefix]

Incognito, I seriously feel sorry for you man. Really, wow - you are one of the most dedicated people I have ever met, and I salute you for your dedication to your marriage - I bet 99.5% of guys would have left if they got such crappy treatment as you do.

To put it frank, she IS abusing you. It is sexual abuse, of a nature that isn't often brought to people's attentions but certainly exist. Sexual deprivation is physically, mentally and emotionally unhealthy for both you, your wife and your relationship. What she is doing is no less than abuse to you, and it simply is not fair for her to put who seems like an upstanding guy through such negligence.

I seriously feel bad for you, man. The fact that she has driven you to the level of buying hundreds of dollars worth of sex toys, and contemplating drugging her just to get her to share a necessary part of relationships with you.. Just wow. It's mind-boggling.

I don't really know what else to say, other than I feel for you, and you deserve better - I can tell just from your posts that you deserve better.

Best of luck; let us know how the viagra plan goes.

[IndiReloaded]

comments like "I feel like a fat pig"
after an argument about how she feels like that action objectifies her as a woman, I never did it again.

Well, this^ is the problem. She's got major self-esteem issues. She needs to see a counsellor, stat. She needs to sort out her issues and find a way to learn that life is shoooort. But it won't work coming from you, the husband b/c you are too close to the problem.

Did she have similar problems with her ex/baby-dad? I bet you anything the answer is yes. Get that counselling asap, go with her if you need to as support. If you can't, or won't, then you might as well visit a lawyer instead. No point TWO people wasting their lives. Good luck to you both.

[IndiReloaded]

I'll really have to think about this for two reasons. One, I'm not sure if I'd ever want to admit to drugging her if I was asked. Two, I'm not sure of the safeness of this. I'll do some research. Maybe if it is safe I won't have a problem admitting to it (if asked).

Not Viagra. She sounds like she needs antidepressants. Get her thyroid checked too, its not uncommon for women in middle-age, esp after kids, to have thyroid issues. It can affect all sorts of things, mood and sex drive, weight control, all of that.

[Incognito]

After reading various articles online, written by both men and women, I won't be slipping crushed Viagara into any foods. She has a doctor's appointment in a few weeks, so I just sent her an email to get her thyroid levels checked since that could be related to weight gain/loss. I may suggest she talk to her doctor about the antidepressants, but I don't think that she'll take them even if he thinks it is a good idea. She doesn't like taking pills, and ONLY takes them if absolutely necessary (ie doctors orders, or intense pain). There is the negative perception of taking anti depressants too. I took them years ago and it is rather dehumanizing to believe that you are only functioning normally because of the pills you take. I eventually stopped taking them because of that fact.

[Incognito]

Since I cannot resist the opportunity to show off what I have worked so hard for, anyone who is interested in seeing my album can send me a friend request. These are some of the same pictures that are on my Facebook page, and a couple others. I may add more shortly. Keep in mind that this is a private album for a reason

[Gigabitch]

My wife is the first, last, and only woman I have ever had sex with, so......no. I see your point about a doll just being another toy, but one that I couldn't hide.

Dude. There is so much more out there. Kick her to the curb and go and get some. She married you under false pretenses. You have every right to end it and be happy.

[IndiReloaded]

After she gets checked out and if she still refuses to help herself, I'm inclined to agree with Giga. Its not like you have kids with her, and really that's the only reason I can think of sticking it out for so long. Especially since you seem to have tried most other avenues. Marriage should not equal monkhood. Mbe your leaving will be the kick in the pants she needs to get help. Some have to hit rock bottom before they push up for air.

Good luck.

[Emesis]

Believe me (seriously), if it were possible for you to send someone over who would get her hot enough to cheat AND got it on tape I'd pay you everything in my savings account. That would make my year!.....No that would make my LIFE!

I'm here to help. Give me an hour with her and I'll show your wife what she's been missing out on, although I must warn you I'm a tough act to follow.

[vashti]

Everyone on the 'net does it like a rock star!

[Incognito]

Follow? You must not have read the rest of this thread. The only thing that would follow that would be divorce papers. The problem is still sex DRIVE. You'd have to be someone who really turned her on. Anyway, that will never happen, so I don't know why I'm even joking about the possibility.

I thank you Indireloaded and Gigabitch for your comments, but once again she doesn't refuse to have sex with me (as outlined earlier).

[Gigabitch]

Everyone on the 'net does it like a rock star!

You mean sloppy and drunk with a groupie?

[traceylee36]

get a grip of yourself...flirt with your woman..push her up against a wall and kiss her deeply..then leave her alone for a while..kiss her again...no expectations..just spice it up ffs...give her attention during the day. tell her how beautiful she is when she smiles..tell her how hot her legs are ..just show her this