is that weird to kiss a girl if..

[AT95]

If you are not gay and you want to be in a relationship
How about spending some time together?

- - - Updated - - -

You cannot ruin what you never had.

All that you have build up was an image of you as an unattracted male with no balls.

There is no such thing as the friend zone
There is only ways in which you portray yourself and terms of relationships and social status you accept

That's why I told you not to accept the gay friend cheek kiss status

Nah I'm not gay and you can call me an "unattracted male with no balls| if you want.
That girl really meant the world to me.
I don't care that we we're just friends and I don't give a damn that she didn't see me the way I saw her,
she was the best person I've ever meet and the best thing that happend in my life.
Not everything is about sex and love.

Yeah, I have to say the more you've shared about your story, the more I am with what some of the more recent responses have had to say. Now, don't misunderstand me when I say this, but if you are going to share your story, you would be best to share all the most important details as well. Even if you just give them as a quick summary. Just because you've maybe already discussed your story in other threads, don't assume that means people have read that or will remember. You may get people seeing this new thread who didn't see the old threads. You may get people who did but didn't respond. Heck, we get so many people coming and going here, it can even be hard to remember who is who.

I can't speak for anybody else, but I don't have time, every time I see a new thread, to go back through the person's history to see if any of their previous posts are related. So, unless I happen to remember, I can only respond based on what was shared in that thread. Again, just sharing that as advice for all. Believe me, I understand why maybe you didn't want to get into all of it when you've already discussed it before, but you can see how then you maybe don't end up getting the most relevant advice.

Anyway, as some of the more recent responses have said, if somebody has told you they only see you as a friend, then you are best to take that at face value. So, kissing her should have just been out of the question. I don't know about you, but I don't go around kissing my friends, male or female.

Furthermore, you say you are okay just being her friend and nothing more. If that were true, that is GREAT, and more power to you.... but then in the same paragraph, you are still talking about wanting to kiss her. So, again, I think maybe you aren't as okay with it as you may think. And, again, please don't misunderstand. I'm not blaming you or trying to make you feel bad. I think we've all been there at some time. I know I have. So, I'm just offering advice as somebody who knows how this feels.

And, sure, you are perfectly right not to want to hurt her feelings. That is awesome of you. But... that doesn't have to mean that you let yours be constantly hurt. Which, even though that 100% isn't her intention, that is what this situation does. It hurts you because you really want to be more than friends, but that can't happen.

Unfortunately, it sounds like now maybe our advice is too late. From your latest update, it sounds like you kissed her and it didn't go well. I am very sorry to hear that. Despite the fact that it wouldn't have been my advice given all the facts you've shared.... I still wish it had worked out well for you. I know it is hard to see this now, but at least the good thing is now you know for sure. So, at least that is good. You can move on knowing you tried, so at least you don't have to wonder "what if?" Good luck to you in the future. Believe me, the hurt you must be feeling now will fade in time. In time, you will find somebody else who interests you just as much or even more. Eventually, you will find somebody who actually reciprocates that interest. Good luck to you, friend.

I cant believe that I'm sharing this with you but I really cant take it anymore, I probably made the biggest mistake of my life.
Last saturday I was invited by a couple of her friends to make a surprise party for her and celebrate her birthday,
at first everything was awesome, I gave her a hug as I always do, we went to the pool , took a drink and continued talking and laughting
and than I went to drink some more with two of my friends, got drunk and did something that I will never forgive myself about.
I tried to kiss her once but she rejected me
(I hugged her, looked into her eyes , tried to lean on her but when I saw that she feels uncomfartable about it I took a step back)
but at the end of the day before everyone went to sleep I went to her once again and just grabbed her face and kissed her.
I dont know what got into me that night and I just want to die!!!
I cant believe that this could ever happend to me, especially with her.
She is the best girl I meet in my entire life, I loved her more than anything and she meant the world to me (and I still think so), I really dont know what went wrong with me.
I also told myself before going to her birthday that I'm not going to drink alot (I'm not an alcoholic or something to make things clear) and I did
I dont believe that I could ever hurt her, I always tried to give her the best of me and to keep a smile on her face, I'm such an asshole.. I hate myself.
I've been talking to her about it yesterday and I tried to apolegize a thousand of times
and I also meet her today and she told me that she forgives me and we we're talking all normal again
but I cant look at her eyes anymore, I feel so humiliated.. I just want to fix it somehow.
I try to put myself in her shoes and I dont believe how she can even talk to me and let me hug her and hug me back like nothing happend.
I'm such an idiot, I just cant get it out of my head, I really dont know what to do with myself


forget the kiss and that she rejected me thats the last thing that bothers me, actually I dont care about it at all
I just want to fix that situation if thats possible, again I dont think that I will ever forgive myself for doing it
I really feel like part of me is dead

[GLYC]

We tried to give you advice, you choose to ignore it. And now, you're suffering as a result.

Your problem is that you act like the stereotypical nice guy. I was that way when I was your age (21), and realized how much of a mistake it was.

I dated a girl and would apologize whenever she got slightly mad at anything I said. When she didn't text me for two days, I would worry. When she blew me off for dates, I kept trying. Eventually she just stopped contacting me, returning my texts. Which is what that kind of behavior gets you. Its a letdown, that girl and me matched up really well, it would have been awesome to have more great memories with her, but I didn't understand dating at the time. She did reach out to me later on down the road, but I had already moved on, figuring that it was easier just to start over with new people compared to trying to rekindle things with people that already had presupposes thoughts about my kind of weak behavior.

You're literally making every mistake in the book.

"She's the best thing that ever happened to me"
You haven't even dated her. You want a friendship back because at this point you feel like it's your only hope at staying in contact with her.
That's really weak.

Luckily, you can still change, as can anybody.

I'm extremely happy that woman came into my life. It gave me so much emotional strength and was such an eye-opening experience. Looking back, it was destiny it happened. I met her at college, asked for her number, she never returned my my call. However, months later I met her again at my internship, somehow fate just put us at the same place at the same time, and at that point, she was chasing me. Which lead to me getting this learning experience.

Today, I'm a nice guy, but I'm emotionally strong and assertive, I don't apologize for liking a woman, I don't treat women like celebrities, and if I feel like a woman doesnt value me, I'm moving on.

[AT95]

We tried to give you advice, you choose to ignore it. And now, you're suffering as a result.

Your problem is that you act like the stereotypical nice guy. I was that way when I was your age (21), and realized how much of a mistake it was.

I dated a girl and would apologize whenever she got slightly mad at anything I said. When she didn't text me for two days, I would worry. When she blew me off for dates, I kept trying. Eventually she just stopped contacting me, returning my texts. Which is what that kind of behavior gets you. Its a letdown, that girl and me matched up really well, it would have been awesome to have more great memories with her, but I didn't understand dating at the time. She did reach out to me later on down the road, but I had already moved on, figuring that it was easier just to start over with new people compared to trying to rekindle things with people that already had presupposes thoughts about my kind of weak behavior.

You're literally making every mistake in the book.

"She's the best thing that ever happened to me"
You haven't even dated her. You want a friendship back because at this point you feel like it's your only hope at staying in contact with her.
That's really weak.

Luckily, you can still change, as can anybody.

I'm extremely happy that woman came into my life. It gave me so much emotional strength and was such an eye-opening experience. Looking back, it was destiny it happened. I met her at college, asked for her number, she never returned my my call. However, months later I met her again at my internship, somehow fate just put us at the same place at the same time, and at that point, she was chasing me. Which lead to me getting this learning experience.

Today, I'm a nice guy, but I'm emotionally strong and assertive, I don't apologize for liking a woman, I don't treat women like celebrities, and if I feel like a woman doesnt value me, I'm moving on.

Apolegizing when you know that you didnt say or do anything wrong is one thing.. And I was there not a long time ago that I apolegized infront of her for every little thing I said or did just to make sure she wont get hurt and hate me or something and I stopped doing that, and I also remember the first time she suddenly stopped messaging me and was less active and I was eating myself thinking what is going on (that was also a couple of months ago) and we we're talking about it and she told me that she is going through something and that it has nothing to do with me..but I dont think that you can ever forgive what I did to her on her.
i hate myself so much

Its funny because your talking like theres nothing wrong that I forced her to kiss me... And I hate myself even more because she said that she told me that night to stop but I didnt listen and didnt let go

[pcmaster]

Perhaps problem was that you was drunk and smelled like alcohol. Also you have good excuse cause you could just say her - sorry I was drunk. And thats all no more need to aplogise more.

So yeah man you have good excuse cause you was drinking. You like this girl a lot thats why you care waaaay too much. In the end nothing so bad happened shes a strong girl and that wasnt so much as a deal for her as it was for you cause I believe she had kisses before.

But yeah it sucks that she didnt wanted to kiss with you. Looks like we have to give a moment of silence for our brother in friendzone. ....

Only good advice I can give now is stop being friends with her cause you need to move on to try with other girls. Being with this girl will just hold you back from happines and finding that one truly special girl. Yeah you think this girl is great but yoou need to experience intimacy cause you dont know what you are missing and its not fair to you. If you want to evolve and become a man you need to stop all friendly contact with this girl.
Im telling you man, from my own experience. Otherwise few more years might pass by without even kissing girls cause drunk kiss dont count.

[AT95]

Perhaps problem was that you was drunk and smelled like alcohol. Also you have good excuse cause you could just say her - sorry I was drunk. And thats all no more need to aplogise more.

So yeah man you have good excuse cause you was drinking. You like this girl a lot thats why you care waaaay too much. In the end nothing so bad happened shes a strong girl and that wasnt so much as a deal for her as it was for you cause I believe she had kisses before.

But yeah it sucks that she didnt wanted to kiss with you. Looks like we have to give a moment of silence for our brother in friendzone. ....

Only good advice I can give now is stop being friends with her cause you need to move on to try with other girls. Being with this girl will just hold you back from happines and finding that one truly special girl. Yeah you think this girl is great but yoou need to experience intimacy cause you dont know what you are missing and its not fair to you. If you want to evolve and become a man you need to stop all friendly contact with this girl.
Im telling you man, from my own experience. Otherwise few more years might pass by without even kissing girls cause drunk kiss dont count.

There is no way in the world that I'm going to use the fact that I was drunk as an excuse for her to forgive me.
and about the friendzone, I knew from the beggining that nothing is going to happend between us and I never expected her to suddenly start to like me or something like that
and I really dont care that she didnt want to kiss me, the only thing that bothers me is that she will understand that I'm deeply sorry for what I did no metter if she will forgive me or not

[TheEvilJester]

You made a mistake. You are only human. Yes, you are right to feel bad about it.... but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it as much as you are. Believe me, though, I know that is so easy to say, but so hard to actually do.

You made a mistake. It is SO easy for us, here on the outside, to say things like "I told you so" or to say how clear it was that you shouldn't have proceeded. That she'd already told you in the past that she only liked you as a friend. The thing is.... that is very easy for us to say being on the outside looking in. It is entirely another thing for you being the one who HAS these feelings. I think most of us can relate to that. To having a huge crush on somebody to the point where, even without intending it, you sort of put up the blinders. You can't help yourself but fall for them and ignore all others. You can't help but look for some hope that they could feel the same way even when logically you know they do not.

So, you made a mistake.... but at least the good news is that now you know for sure. You know she only sees you as a friend. You messed up and you apologized to her. Profusely, it seems. So, now, just forget it. Don't apologize anymore. Don't worry about trying to fix it. You know what will fix it? If you just move on, forget it, and let things go back to normal. Bottom line is, either she can look past what happened, forgive and forget, and go back to the way things were... or she can't. That isn't going to change no matter what you may or may not do. The only thing you could possibly do is make your chances worse. So, whatever will be will be.

The more important question you need to be asking now is can you really go back to being just friends with her and be okay with that? Only you know that for sure, but it doesn't sound like that would be in your best interest. It sounds unlikely that she will ever want anything more than a friendship with you. So, you would need to be able to forget any chance of something more with her and move on. And by that, I don't mean in the way you had already. You say that you'd already accepted that you were okay just being her friend.... that she is the greatest thing to ever happen to you regardless of in what capacity.... but then you still wanted more.

So, if you can't get past that by being around her, you owe it to yourself to limit contact. Again, it isn't like you have to be rude to her about it. You are doing it to hurt her, you are doing it to save yourself from hurt. You need to be able to move on so you can find love in some other girl, but also so you aren't just dating other women and secretly wishing they were her.

Don't misunderstand me. In no way am I intending to judge you and I don't mean to make you feel bad, I know how you feel. I've been there myself, wanting somebody who, for one reason or another, wasn't right for me. So, I know how sometimes you can't help that the heart wants what the heart wants.... but I also know that time and distance are the only things that can help you move on from that. The more you try to convince yourself that you can be okay with it just as long as she is in your life in SOME WAY, the more you are really holding yourself back from actually moving on. From actually having a chance to fall in love with somebody else who will love you back.

Good luck, friend. I know it seems hard now, but in time you will get past this.

[AT95]

You made a mistake. You are only human. Yes, you are right to feel bad about it.... but you shouldn't beat yourself up about it as much as you are. Believe me, though, I know that is so easy to say, but so hard to actually do.

You made a mistake. It is SO easy for us, here on the outside, to say things like "I told you so" or to say how clear it was that you shouldn't have proceeded. That she'd already told you in the past that she only liked you as a friend. The thing is.... that is very easy for us to say being on the outside looking in. It is entirely another thing for you being the one who HAS these feelings. I think most of us can relate to that. To having a huge crush on somebody to the point where, even without intending it, you sort of put up the blinders. You can't help yourself but fall for them and ignore all others. You can't help but look for some hope that they could feel the same way even when logically you know they do not.

So, you made a mistake.... but at least the good news is that now you know for sure. You know she only sees you as a friend. You messed up and you apologized to her. Profusely, it seems. So, now, just forget it. Don't apologize anymore. Don't worry about trying to fix it. You know what will fix it? If you just move on, forget it, and let things go back to normal. Bottom line is, either she can look past what happened, forgive and forget, and go back to the way things were... or she can't. That isn't going to change no matter what you may or may not do. The only thing you could possibly do is make your chances worse. So, whatever will be will be.

The more important question you need to be asking now is can you really go back to being just friends with her and be okay with that? Only you know that for sure, but it doesn't sound like that would be in your best interest. It sounds unlikely that she will ever want anything more than a friendship with you. So, you would need to be able to forget any chance of something more with her and move on. And by that, I don't mean in the way you had already. You say that you'd already accepted that you were okay just being her friend.... that she is the greatest thing to ever happen to you regardless of in what capacity.... but then you still wanted more.

So, if you can't get past that by being around her, you owe it to yourself to limit contact. Again, it isn't like you have to be rude to her about it. You are doing it to hurt her, you are doing it to save yourself from hurt. You need to be able to move on so you can find love in some other girl, but also so you aren't just dating other women and secretly wishing they were her.

Don't misunderstand me. In no way am I intending to judge you and I don't mean to make you feel bad, I know how you feel. I've been there myself, wanting somebody who, for one reason or another, wasn't right for me. So, I know how sometimes you can't help that the heart wants what the heart wants.... but I also know that time and distance are the only things that can help you move on from that. The more you try to convince yourself that you can be okay with it just as long as she is in your life in SOME WAY, the more you are really holding yourself back from actually moving on. From actually having a chance to fall in love with somebody else who will love you back.

Good luck, friend. I know it seems hard now, but in time you will get past this.

Believe me, I really want to forget about it and to let things go back as they we're before but I just cant do that.
Its like everytime when I see her the only thing that goes through my mind is that night when I kissed her and I feel so empty,
I cant even think about talking to her.. I just look at her and feel so bad, I'm really broken.
as I mentioned before she already told me that she forgives me and that I'm just overreacting about the situation (and maybe she is right)
but I cant forgive myself

[pcmaster]

Yes you are overreacting.

When I was 7 years old I took off girls panties off despite that she was screaming and crying. Only thing that made me feel bad was that her mum was angry at me.

Now the problem is that you like this girl. Even worse you are in love with this girl. You need to forget about her. Really beating a dead horse here cause you love her but she dont even want a kiss from you. This is so broken that its better leave and start new with someone else. At least now you know where you stand but you can stand there for years if you keep hanging out with this girl. In fact you will fall even lower in her eyes, cause she will get bored with you and once girl sense that you wont leave she becomes very nasty.

[AT95]

Yes you are overreacting.

When I was 7 years old I took off girls panties off despite that she was screaming and crying. Only thing that made me feel bad was that her mum was angry at me.

Now the problem is that you like this girl. Even worse you are in love with this girl. You need to forget about her. Really beating a dead horse here cause you love her but she dont even want a kiss from you. This is so broken that its better leave and start new with someone else. At least now you know where you stand but you can stand there for years if you keep hanging out with this girl. In fact you will fall even lower in her eyes, cause she will get bored with you and once girl sense that you wont leave she becomes very nasty.

I just want to make sure that whenever she will look back at our friendship she will remember all the fun and good time we had together and not how I got drunk and ruined her birthday like an asshole... And again, although the fact that we we're just friends.

[TheEvilJester]

Of course you can't get over it... YET. Of course you can't forgive yourself.... YET. You felt/feel very deeply for this gal, and you feel like maybe you did something to ruin that. The thing is, it doesn't seem like SHE feels that way. If, in time, things do go back to normal and she obviously cares just as much for you (even if only as a friend) as she did before, you'll see you didn't ruin anything and you'll feel better. At least in that regard.

Again, I still think you owe it to yourself to deal with whether you can accept being her friend and nothing more. But, right now I think you are hurting too much from the latest events in your friendship to even think about that. You'll feel better once time has put its distance on the instance. It will become a distant memory and neither of you will think about it or care about it. Sure, you made a mistake, but in a way it was also good. You found out that she still only sees you as a friend, so that does kinda stink.... but you also found out that she still cares about you very much. Even if not in the way you had hoped she could, at least she still does care.

Good luck once again. I hope some day (hopefully sooner rather than later) you fall head over heels for somebody just in the way you have her.... but this time they fall for you just as much.

[AT95]

Of course you can't get over it... YET. Of course you can't forgive yourself.... YET. You felt/feel very deeply for this gal, and you feel like maybe you did something to ruin that. The thing is, it doesn't seem like SHE feels that way. If, in time, things do go back to normal and she obviously cares just as much for you (even if only as a friend) as she did before, you'll see you didn't ruin anything and you'll feel better. At least in that regard.

Again, I still think you owe it to yourself to deal with whether you can accept being her friend and nothing more. But, right now I think you are hurting too much from the latest events in your friendship to even think about that. You'll feel better once time has put its distance on the instance. It will become a distant memory and neither of you will think about it or care about it. Sure, you made a mistake, but in a way it was also good. You found out that she still only sees you as a friend, so that does kinda stink.... but you also found out that she still cares about you very much. Even if not in the way you had hoped she could, at least she still does care.

Good luck once again. I hope some day (hopefully sooner rather than later) you fall head over heels for somebody just in the way you have her.... but this time they fall for you just as much.

I cant think about anything properly whenever I'm around her lmao.
I guess you are right.. And again, I dont care that she didnt let me to kiss her. Maybe I was really living in an illusion that we had something stronger than just a friendship and maybe it was just a bad timing I dont know but I'm cool with that 100%. Yeah I still really like her and thank you for your wishes bro

[pcmaster]

I think to make her feel better and feel better yourself, you can cut your D off and sell it. Then buy her a big gift for the money. Its a good money besides you dont even use your D.