Why can't I get a boyfriend?

[TheSphinx]

People just want to relax and talk, not everyone plays games with people. I'm sure for your age you're probably more aware of things socially than most guys, but you take it too far. You're missing out on life. I feel sorry for you. You must feel very empty inside, trying to help others to feel the joys from life you've desensitized yourself from. Do you even enjoy your interactions with people, or is it all about some game and strategy with everyone?

Learning how magic or illusions work will often take away a lot of the satisfaction you receive from seeing them performed.

In the same way, learning the "algorithm," or the game, often takes a lot of the magic out of meeting and forming a relationship with a woman.

I had to meet a woman who immediately called my crap, told me I had "potential," and walked away from my "solid game" before I was willing to give it up and just go with my own instincts.

Amazingly, we instantly clicked after I did so, and on a much deeper level. A relationship hadn't satisfied me in such a way in a long time up until that point, and I finally had the realization that I had possessed the ability to attract women of my own accord long before learning the "formula" for doing so.

I have a feeling you will reach that point too, Grk, though in how long and under what circumstances I cannot say.

~Sphinx

[GrkScorp]

OK, i'm still trying to figure out which user created the v0ndutch account, and what everyone is up to.. this is definitely interesting..

On the topic of women, like I said.. I've had my mentors.. I learned what I had to.. and for a large part of HS.. I applied it all.. Some worked, some didn't.. and only through trial-and-error and internalizing/naturalizing what worked did I have consistent success.. At this point, THERE IS NO GAME.. it's all internalized.. it all flows naturally.. that's who I am when I talk to not just women, but to guys aswell.. there's no thought.. there's just action.. it's instinctive, it's instant..

Am I "empty" on the inside? I don't even know what that means.. I'm actually pretty happy with nearly every aspect of my life (I have yet to find Ms. Right, but i'm looking).. I wouldn't call it "empty" so much as "numb".. Do you remember that first time you bit into dark chocolate? How the smell just filled your nose, how the taste just rolled off your tongue and danced on every taste-bud? How your body would melt along with the bar in your mouth? There's always that 1st, and 2nd, and 7th, etc.. time.. but after a while, chocolate just loses that magic..

I agree with Sphinx.. now I can just notice a woman, and can automatically tell if she's interested or not, without her saying a word, completely effortlessly, it's so obvious.. she might as well carry a sign on her that reads "I like you, but i'm trying to not show it".. (now, if she moves, talks, etc, it's just an orgy of give-away information).. but from that alone, it's boring.. I can tell, and most of the time i'm not interested, and there's no incentive to toy around, because it's not even fun.. it's all very predictable.. It's like punching 1+1 into a calculator, you know what's going to happen when you click the "=" sign.. it happens every time..

Guys actually give me a harder time, because i'm so used to indirectly stroking female-ego.. that I forget it doesn't work the same way with guys.. there's a lot of direct ego-stroking, more direct leading, and suggestion is (not less complex) more logical..

I enjoy it in either case, with either sex.. I love to argue, plot, plan, let things slowly & artfully unwind.. each conversation is like a masterpiece.. you can't simply go to the final product, you have to enjoy the process.. you have to savor each brush stroke, each color you pick to use, etc..

As for power/control games.. A friend of mine, Maria, told me that she thought what I was teaching this guy, Sang, was how to manipulate people and "wasn't fair".. To that i'll simply recite what I told her.. When you watch a boxing match, there is a set of rules both people follow (for instance, you can't eye gouge or kick the other person in the nuts).. When both fighters play by the rules, it's a fair fight.. But what if one of the fighters isn't playing by the rules? What if that fighter is the girl? Why should the guy stand there and play by the rules and look like the idiot and lose the fight? If the other person is playing dirty, then it's time to toss the rules aside.. So, when someone is going to waste your time, have you sit there, pay for things, toy around with you, play with your feelings, put on acts, and lead you on for fun.. only to tell you "what are you doing? i'm not attracted to you, let's just be friends, I really like this guy, can you be my emotional tampon; etc" later on.. it's time to bring on a more damaging arsenal of weapons your way, and unleash twice the fury her way..

Basically, what bothered Maria (and what bothers most women when guys talk about this subject).. is that girls like to hold onto that control & power, they want to be able to play outside of the rules and play dirty while the guy is stuck to playing fair "being the gentleman".. Fortunately, I haven't been the victim of such dirty games in my life (g-d help the opposite sex if I had any actual hate behind my motives), but plenty of really great guys I knew/know HAVE been.. and you could feel the genuine pain in these guys, scars dug deep, huge wounds.. (caused by some b*tch).. but to calm your fears.. these wounds/scars didn't heal by being a male-b*tch back to women, or even hurting them.. These wounds healed internally.. some b*tch made them feel like losers, like they deserved to be this way (alone, used, unimportant, unloved) in life.. All I did is prove them wrong.. and AFTER that, I helped make sure these guys wouldn't feel that way again.. (no women where emotionally/physically hurt in the process)..

Think of it like being a white-Hitch who doesn't charge people money, and who also helps out women.. (who also had some jerk come into their life and made them feel like sh*t, usually an ex-bf)

I don't do this to fill some void.. I love helping genuinely good people get what they deserve, and feel how they should feel about themselves.. That's all there is to it..

As for power/control games, I wish I had the moot-court competition on video.. solid argument, but a very hardcore debate.. (power/control games to the max, total frame control, it was like mental rape in front of the whole class)

[GerryPelosi]

May be you search Bf in wrong place.If you want BF I would suggest you for one free dating site called vertigosex.com I also got many girls from there. There are lots of boys waiting for you. So let’s enjoy the fun.
Cheers!

[Babydoll]

The reason you're so frustrated is because you're in such a rush to have a plan and for your life to be set out in front of you.
It sounds like you're entering relationships with a plan to make it long term. You should enter relationships with an open mind and be happy that you don't know where it's going to go. As other people have said, you're setting a time limit.
Most people in their early twenties aren't looking for a long term relationship; they want to have fun while they're young, which, in my opinion, is exactly how it should be. If you do happen to meet the right one there isn't alot you can do about it. But you shouldn't go out on a mission to find a partner for the sake of it; it should just come from a natural, mutual compatibility. Think about it: If you intend to have a marriage which lasts for the rest of your life.. you're going to spend a heck of alot of time old and in a relationship than you are young and single. You may as well savour it while you can.

If you are still adamant on getting into a long term relationship I think your best way to deal with it is by pretending to your partners that you do have the same attitude and mindset to them when it comes to relationships. They'll be more attracted to you if you pretend you aren't in it for something serious, that you are a 'see how it goes' person. If you aren't really romantic and soppy right from the start. Alot of men are afraid of commitment.. and if you don't act like you want to be clingy and committed.. I think they're alot more likely to be attracted to you.

[harvey96]

You are right that 23 is young for today's standard. May be that is the reason why the guys still don't want to commit. Just let think happen naturally, do not rush into it because you want to marry young. Being single, you have a lot of better things to do. By the way, attractive girls do get a lot of attention from guys but it is not a guarantee to get a partner earlier than the less attractive ones. Ralationship is more than just the outlook of a person

[hamilton]

You're doing something awfully wrong on your part as a guy; and you aren't making her feel comfortable enough..

[richeanne]

maybe it's just not your time, it will come soon. I'm sure you're fine. just enjoy being single at the moment. explore and have the time of your life, because once committed there are certain things u can't do anymore. U will find out when u get there.^^

[Lite]

What is it with people digging up long dead threads?

[Vodka]

Date guys in their 30's. They're more marriage minded than the guys in their 20's.