Girlfriend still talks to summer fling/friend

[RdHrshyKss]

girl68 is correct!

she should have worded it so you dont look like the inferior fool. she still wants his attention... i am in a similar situation, except they didnt have sex...

its good that you let her know, and stand ur ground...
however by making her stop talking to him is playin with fire... that will make her want to talk to him more... u tell a child not to do soemthing, and they wanna do it more....

so my advice is: act like you no longer care, and flirt with a girl urself... dont focus on her, focus on urself, and show ur gf that u can leave at any moment to see another girl... this will make you more attractive btw. be the alpha male, and show her its HER loss if she leaves you. talking to him isnt the issue- flirting with him isnt the issue... the issue is she is TAKING YOU FOR GRANTED... if she valued you so highly, and knew he was lucky to capture an alpha dog like you, she wouldnt dare risk her relationship with some other pathetic horndog fool (him)

so- really, u should just mentally move on from this, go out and find something to do, keep busy, dont put her on a pedastal... reward her when she does something good, but and retract attention from her when she acts poorly (texting him).

ugh, what horrible advice. trying to put out fire with fire does NOT work...

OP - if you seriously think that what your gf did was meaningful, you are completely wrong. she has blamed the lack of future contact with this guy as your doing, NOT because her feelings for you make it wrong. i think that says it all. dump her ass.

but then again, you were the dumb dumb who authored the message. so yeah...you deserve each other.

[Jman39]

how is that bad advice? just because ur in a relationship DOESNT mean you cant talk to others of the opposite sex... hell, even flirting is fine... it keeps relationships healthy, and from getting too boring. its usually true that women love men who are of high status (aka, money, status, etc...) there is a reason celebs like donald trump land hot women, money, which is a symbol of status. By having his gf REALISE that her bf is a hot commodity, and soemthing to not take for granted is essential! he needs to keep that alpha male status (so many people in relationships forget this, and lose that mentality).

[Jman39]

also- READ THIS!
read this OP
[url=http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=269302]You've got a Girlfriend, now invest in your Future[/url]

[RdHrshyKss]

how is that bad advice? just because ur in a relationship DOESNT mean you cant talk to others of the opposite sex... hell, even flirting is fine... it keeps relationships healthy, and from getting too boring. its usually true that women love men who are of high status (aka, money, status, etc...) there is a reason celebs like donald trump land hot women, money, which is a symbol of status. By having his gf REALISE that her bf is a hot commodity, and soemthing to not take for granted is essential! he needs to keep that alpha male status (so many people in relationships forget this, and lose that mentality).

oh god, seriously. no offense, but i think i just vomited in my mouth a little. everything that you wrote in your post made me sick. trump has been in how many relationships/marriages? i'm sure that guy is lonely as shit! no one loves him for HIM, just his big fat wads of cash. and that hairdo, yuck, i think i just vomited again.

oh great, lets just glorify making women feel like objects that men can easily dispose of...make them feel like he's all they're good for. and while you're at it, force them to compete with each other. compete over some moron like yourself who likes to pawn women off each other to feel like he's an "alpha male". more like alpha LOSER.

this is NOT what an average girl is looking for. we aren't looking for our bfs to manipulate us into wanting to stay with them, out of fear of them becoming interested in someone else. please, spare me the chauvinistic crap and let's cut to the basics. who taught you that making a girl jealous is the best way to build a healthy/long-lasting relationship? who? probably some other dude who quantified his happiness to the number of women he was able to bang in his lifetime. and i'm sure not one of those women really cared for him, just the illusion he created for himself in his fantasy world...

maybe i'm just speaking for myself here, but i'm a woman...and if a guy treated me like you suggest at this point in my life, i'd kick his ass to the curb and tell him to go ahead and f**k that chick at the bar he's been flirting with in front of me because that's all he's good for...

[Jman39]

oh god, seriously. no offense, but i think i just vomited in my mouth a little. everything that you wrote in your post made me sick. trump has been in how many relationships/marriages? i'm sure that guy is lonely as shit because no one loves him for HIM, just his big fat wads of cash.

oh great, lets just glorify making women feel like objects that men can easily dispose of...make them feel like he's all they're good for. and while you're at it, force them to compete with each other. compete over some moron like yourself who likes to pawn women off each other to feel like he's an "alpha male". more like alpha LOSER.

this is NOT what an average girl is looking for. we aren't looking for our bfs to manipulate us into wanting to stay with them, out of fear of them becoming interested in someone else. please, spare me the chauvinistic crap and let's cut to the basics. who taught you that making a girl jealous is the best way to build a healthy/long-lasting relationship? who? probably some other dude who quantified his happiness to the number of women he was able to bang in his lifetime. and i'm sure not one of those women really cared for him, just the illusion he created for himself in his fantasy world...

ok ill admit the donald trump probably wasnt the best example... its the first thought that popped up when i was thinking of, ugly dude with hot women.
im going to just kindly disagree- dont take this the wrong way, but advice from a female is way diff from advice from a male. Ive been the nice guy, and still think i am. but there is a reason you hear, "nice guys finish last." And I wasnt saying you should make ur gf jealous, im saying you should make her RESPECT you by showing that you wont be WALKED ALL OVER on... which he currently is. this i think you can agree with.
and not to be sexist, but believe it or not, MOST WOMEN arent as angelic as you are. in fact many women go after the "bad boy" for a reason. Thats not to say u should be a bad boy. You should be the alpha male, the leader... alpha male DOESNT MEAN treat her like a dick. i never said that- i was just saying he must MAKE her realise waht a GREAT guy he his, and NOT TAKE HIM FOR GRANTED... which is CLEARLY WHATS HAPPENING!

there are many books and sites that talk abotu this... i posted the link above.

[RdHrshyKss]

so the way you get her to RESPECT you and not WALK ALL OVER you, is to flirt with other girls in front of her? to DISRESPECT her by flirting with other women in front of her and WALK ALL OVER her feelings by making her feel insecure and want to compete?

and you think the women that go after the bad guys are the women that men should want!?! you are just perpetuating the cycle of insecurity, stupidity, and just plain ignorance in relationships nowadays. i don't know, maybe you are really young and inexperienced. and if that's the case, i won't hassle you any further. but if you seriously think that this logic is correct, you have a long life of shitty, unfulfilling relationships to look forward to.

[Jman39]

so the way you get her to RESPECT you and not WALK ALL OVER you, is to flirt with other girls in front of her? to DISRESPECT her by flirting with other women in front of her and WALK ALL OVER her feelings by making her feel insecure and want to compete?

and you think the women that go after the bad guys are the women that men should want!?! you are just perpetuating the cycle of insecurity, stupidity, and just plain ignorance in relationships nowadays. i don't know, maybe you are really young and inexperienced. and if that's the case, i won't hassle you any further. but if you seriously think that this logic is correct, you have a long life of shitty, unfulfilling relationships to look forward to.

yes you know me so well. thats exactly it....
and when did i say to flirt in front of her? stop making assumptions. Anyone in a relationship should not fall into oneitis. You shoudl have friends of the opposite sex. And flirting isnt a bad thing, as long the INTENTION is innocent. By showing his gf that hes got other female friends- it keeps her on her toes. Sorry, but no girl likes it if a guy just puts a girl on a pedastal. maybe for a little while, but gauranteed she will get bored and move on...

again, this istn an idea i came up with myself, its VERY well discussed topic. try to read the book "how to become an alpha male" by john alexander. or the "true pick up artist" or try
[url=http://www.becomeaplayer.com/articles/howtokeepgirlfriend.htm][ The Players Articles ] How To Keep Your Girlfriend[/url]
[url=http://relationships.blog-city.com/the_biggest_reason_women_lose_interest_in_men.htm]Why Women Lose Interest In you (21,126) [relationships.blog-city.com][/url]

Your response- is what i would have responded with in the past... but ive learned.
your advice is coming from your heart- but REALITY by numbers is different.
seriously- im not trying to start a fight here, but just read the links, and try to understand that its not just BS. dont hate the player, hate the game.
on that note, im done having this 1 on1 battle. ive stated my case- if u or the op doesnt like it, then simply ignore everything i said, i wont lose sleep over it. just trying to give my input.

[RdHrshyKss]

spam alert, spam alert!

go take your "how to be a professional manipulator" books and links to some stupid lonely male forum...where guys are so dense that they think talking to other stupid lonely men will get them the results they want.

yeah, i read one of your links and it made me laugh. like literally ROFL at how completely idiotic the men on that site were.

i'll hate the player if i want to. because in this case, the player is perpetuating the manipulative game that does nothing but kill relationships and destroy any possibility of real love.

[Jman39]

spam alert, spam alert!

go take your "how to be a professional manipulator" books and links to some stupid lonely male forum...where guys are so dense that they think talking to other stupid lonely men will get them the results they want.

yeah, i read one of your links and it made me laugh. like literally ROFL at how completely idiotic the men on that site were.

i'll hate the player if i want to. because in this case, the player is perpetuating the manipulative game that does nothing but destroy relationships and any possibility of real love.

no spam here-
i really dont understand why ur getting all flustered over this. its just MY advice. u gave urs. end of story.

[RdHrshyKss]

i apologize. i just get a little riled up when guys come on here giving advice to other guys that involve manipulating and deceiving their gf's to get what they want. like i said before, you can't kill fire with fire. 2 wrongs don't make a right. and by telling the OP that the solution to his relationship problems is to

act like you no longer care, and flirt with a girl urself... dont focus on her, focus on urself, and show ur gf that u can leave at any moment to see another girl... this will make you more attractive btw. be the alpha male, and show her its HER loss if she leaves you.

well, then you are just one big LOSER that i can't help but want to shut the hell up.

and just my luck, you're american. i will go ahead and apologize on your behalf to the rest of the forum...you make american men look like FOOLS.

[Jman39]

i didnt mean, dont act like you dont care abotu ur gf, i meant, dont care about her talking to her ex fling... in othters words, feel indifferent towards it. what happens if they get into an argument? i can gaurantee u she will contact him again. but by being the bigger person, not caring- he shows hes a confident man. I dont see that thats bad advice?

realistically, that other guy is no real threat. if shes gonna cheat, shes gonna cheat regardless. if she has feelings for him, shes gonna hve feelings for him. So instead of being mopey about it, and getting hurt, he should just move on from it (i dotn mean break up) instead of wondering what MIGHT happen. It shows a lot of insecurity. since he HAS confronted her, he can no longer act like it doesnt bother him, since he already told her. so thats why i gave the advice of, going out and meeting some new people to keep his mind off of this... its not PLAYING with fire with fire. its merely, focusing on other things so that he doesnt overanalyze the situation.

[RdHrshyKss]

i didnt mean, dont act like you dont care abotu ur gf, i meant, dont care about her talking to her ex fling... in othters words, feel indifferent towards it. what happens if they get into an argument? i can gaurantee u she will contact him again. but by being the bigger person, not caring- he shows hes a confident man. I dont see that thats bad advice?

realistically, that other guy is no real threat. if shes gonna cheat, shes gonna cheat regardless. if she has feelings for him, shes gonna hve feelings for him. So instead of being mopey about it, and getting hurt, he should just move on from it (i dotn mean break up) instead of wondering what MIGHT happen. It shows a lot of insecurity. since he HAS confronted her, he can no longer act like it doesnt bother him, since he already told her. so thats why i gave the advice of, going out and meeting some new people to keep his mind off of this... its not PLAYING with fire with fire. its merely, focusing on other things so that he doesnt overanalyze the situation.

it's still playing mind games! it's manipulating and deceiving. it's trying to make your gf think that you are something that aren't or that you are confident when you are really insecure. come back to reality Jman...this shit is completely bogus and it's wrong. it gets you laid, it gets a girl interested in you for a short period of time (for the completely wrong reasons because you AREN'T YOU) and she leaves you. then off to the next one right? god, how pathetic...it seriously sounds horrible to me.

the OP needs to be honest about how he's feeling. and i'm not even fighting for the OP anymore because he's acting like a big dope and his gf is going to walk all over that...scratch that, she already has. his relationship is already shit, it's a dud. it's a no brainer...they DO NOT WORK. she wants to flirt with some other guy, he's insecure about it, he confronts her so she knows he's insecure it, she still doesn't want to do a damn thing about it because she's too damn selfish to let go of her little texting buddy. they are not compatible and the relationship is not worth pursuing.

[Jman39]

it's still playing mind games! it's manipulating and deceiving. it's trying to make your gf think that you are something that aren't or that you are confident when you are really insecure. come back to reality Jman...this shit is completely bogus and it's wrong. it gets you laid, it gets a girl interested in you for a short period of time (for the completely wrong reasons because you AREN'T YOU) and she leaves you. then off to the next one right? god, how pathetic...it seriously sounds horrible to me.

the OP needs to be honest about how he's feeling. and i'm not even fighting for the OP anymore because he's acting like a big dope and his gf is going to walk all over that. his relationship is already shit. my point is that this relationship is already a dud, it's a no brainer. they DO NOT WORK. she wants to flirt with some other guy, he's insecure about it, she knows he's insecure and doesn't want to do a damn thing about it because she's too damn selfish to let go of her little texting buddy. she is being selfish and he's being a complete dumbass. they deserve each other.

so if ur insecure, then i guess ur doomed by ur logic... ur saying he should face the fact that hes inscure and he has no way out, cus then hes not being himself? we both agree he may doomed. ok so how do you go about fixing the issue? the issue isnt the gf then, its the OP. ur right, u should be honest with urself, but humans have the capability to change, and change into better people. by acting confident, u will be more confident. ever heard about smiling more often makes u more happy? same goes for this. hes not gonna change over night, but if he focuses on himself, instead of valuing women so highly, hes never gonna learn, and only get hurt again and again, due to his insecurities. he needs to do something about it. sure therapy may help, but most would agree when i say he should focus on himself.

and as for ur 2nd paragraph, ur saying its already doomed. it may be, but at least im offering a solution that could potentially salvage the relationship. again the gf did NOT cheat on her bf. the fear is that she MAY cheat. an issue STEMs from him, not with her.

[RdHrshyKss]

so if ur insecure, then i guess ur doomed by ur logic... ur saying he should face the fact that hes inscure and he has no way out, cus then hes not being himself? we both agree he may doomed. ok so how do you go about fixing the issue? the issue isnt the gf then, its the OP. ur right, u should be honest with urself, but humans have the capability to change, and change into better people. by acting confident, u will be more confident. ever heard about smiling more often makes u more happy? same goes for this. hes not gonna change over night, but if he focuses on himself, instead of valuing women so highly, hes never gonna learn, and only get hurt again and again, due to his insecurities. he needs to do something about it. sure therapy may help, but most would agree when i say he should focus on himself.

and as for ur 2nd paragraph, ur saying its already doomed. it may be, but at least im offering a solution that could potentially salvage the relationship. again the gf did NOT cheat on her bf. the fear is that she MAY cheat. an issue STEMs from him, not with her.

what i'm saying is that the OP should find a girl who won't do things that make him feel insecure about the relationship. and his insecurities ARE JUSTIFIED. it is completely inappropriate to be having an ongoing relationship (whether via phone or whatever) with an ex fling...and to be talking about their past sexcapades for that matter. she is acting like a complete attention whore. why would any guy want to be with a girl who needs attention so bad, that she's willing to throw away a perfectly good relationship with her current bf to have some borderline sleezy text conversations with an old fling? not a girl that is worth continuing a relationship with, that's for sure. to accept that kind of behavior, or try to retaliate against that kind of behavior with some other stupid, attention hoarding scheme, is beyond ridiculous. you are just adding fuel to the fire.

[RdHrshyKss]

and i wish i could continue debating with you on this, but i have a job to wake up for tomorrow morning, so i must exit... buh bye you "alpha male" you.