Why are nices guys unlucky in love?

[McRich01]

Women obviously prefer 'boy's who cheat, Lie, Manipulate, Upset them, Disrespect them, Hurt them etc etc, So that they can winge at how much a bastard men are.

Whilst guys like me and many others who'd never do the above, Are left heartbroken over nothing.

[DannyH]

Newsflash: Telling a woman "no" when a no needs to be told does not make a man NOT nice in general.

There we go Fixed Needs to be put in bold because a lot of people don't get that

[Wakeup]

You realize it after the fact though, right? So can't you learn from that? I don't know, I can get a bit annoyed when girls say stuff just to test us. For the record, I do say no when it's in my best interests. I'm a fairly nice guy even so. I mean, you don't see guys saying stuff to test the femininity of a girl do you?

Realizing it after the fact is like closing the barn door after the horse got away. Men shit test all the time too. It's human nature it's not a girl vs boy thing at all. Even in the business world people test each others mettle. If someone doesn't measure up then we're not going to deal with them.

[Wakeup]

Women obviously prefer 'boy's who cheat, Lie, Manipulate, Upset them, Disrespect them, Hurt them etc etc, So that they can winge at how much a bastard men are.

Whilst guys like me and many others who'd never do the above, Are left heartbroken over nothing.

Oh gag me with a fvcking spoon. You see. That is one of the reasons that "nice" guys don't get the chick. If you can't see how pathetic and unattractive that statement just made you then you need some personal therapy to boost up your own confidence and sense of self worth.

Another Newsflash: Woman worth having WILL NOT STAY WITH A MAN THAT IS ALL THOSE HORRIBLE THINGS YOU MENTION. if she stays for the long haul with someone who treats her that way in general then she has more psychological issues then you'd want to live with yourself.

Asshole guys are'nt assholes right from the beginning... they play the good guy until the chick is hooked and if she has any selfworth she'll not stay with him for long.

Feel better now?

[sadie_genie]

You speak for yourself.. This thread is about why nice guys don't get what they want. One of the reasons is because they don't have the baIls to tell anyone, never mind a woman "No."

'Ive been married for 30+ years and we didn't get to this point with him being "nice" to me when I needed to be sent to the naughty chair. (figuratively speaking of course) Believe me a woman can certainly survive without a blow up arguement insueing if a strong and confident man tells you "No dear" and gives you a damn good reason why a "no" is needed to be said. (vise versa for him when he needs to told "no")

Entitlement princess behaviour is unattractive to many, many men and definately to me as a fellow woman. Forever spoiling is not conducive to keeping your woman intrigued. Nor is it a catalyst for mutual harmony with each other.

Newsflash: Telling a woman "no" when a no needs to be told does not make a man NOT nice in general.

Being a nice guy who let his girl have her way is NOT a weakness or make him less of a man. Letting EVERYONE get their way with him indiscriminately is. When a guy is nice to his girl, it is a sign of love and strength. Saying "no" is not a strength; in fact it is very common since that is what most self interested people do. It is foolish women who associates a man's self-interested behavior as strength.

BTW, your description of how a woman should be treated is just disgusting. Women are not children. They do not need to be either "spoiled" or " sent to the naughty chair". Women who aren't under the false belief that nice guys are weak appreciates when a guy goes out of his way to be nice to her. Unfortunately, there are many dumb women out there who actually believes in that shit.

[Wakeup]

Being a nice guy who let his girl have her way is NOT a weakness or make him less of a man. Letting EVERYONE get their way with him indiscriminately is. When a guy is nice to his girl, it is a sign of love and strength. Saying "no" is not a strength; in fact it is very common since that is what most self interested people do. It is foolish women who associates a man's self-interested behavior as strength.

BTW, your description of how a woman should be treated is just disgusting. Women are not children. They do not need to be either "spoiled" or " sent to the naughty chair". Women who aren't under the false belief that nice guys are weak appreciates when a guy goes out of his way to be nice to her. Unfortunately, there are many dumb women out there who actually believes in that shit.

You have no clue why so called nice guys don't do well with women... In fact, You're not even worth responding to however; I will repeat this for you because you have no clue.

*Newsflash: Telling a woman "no" when a no needs to be told does not make a man NOT nice in general.

[sadie_genie]

You have no clue why so called nice guys don't do well with women... In fact, You're not even worth responding to however; I will repeat this for you because you have no clue.

You have no clue what you are talking about. What does telling a woman "no" when a no needs to be told means? I think you mean when his own immediate interests or preferences gets in the way.

When guys goes out of his way to be nice to a woman even when it is against his own immediate interests or preferences, it doesn't mean he isn't a man. In fact, he might as well be doing it out of his generosity and kindness. Have you thought of THAT possibility? It is stupidity of some women that chivalry is rare nowadays.

[DannyH]

You have no clue what you are talking about. What does telling a woman "no" when a no needs to be told means? I think you mean when his own immediate interests or preferences gets in the way.

When guys goes out of his way to be nice to a woman even when it is against his own immediate interests or preferences, it doesn't mean he isn't a man. In fact, he might as well be doing it out of his generosity and kindness. Have you thought of THAT possibility? It is stupidity of some women that chivalry is rare nowadays.

Some guys do nice things for the wrong reasons.... therefor it means they are not being nice. It's ok to buy your women gifts.<-------nice thing to do. It's not ok to buy your women gifts to get her to like you more. <----insecure thing to do. You know those guys who buy flowers and say crap like i got you these hope you like them. They aren't being nice for the sake for the sake of being nice. They are being nice because they are insecure about themselves if they make their girl happy they will be happy. That's why you get the 'nice guys' who want to die after their girl breaks em off like a bad habit. Then they see those 'jerks' get the women because they aren't as insecure then they say shit like mcrich did. It's a sick sad cycle of pathetic.

[Katmeow85]

I like nice guys but as someone said earlier sometimes it can be a bit too much. I suppose it can make the girl feel like they arent perfect because they arent being the same or it can come across as clingey or trying too hard.

[Henry123]

Acting clingy, trying to hard, being a carpet walk, seeking approval, being needy, acting spineless & not having a sense of self dignity & worth, (or even being deliberaetly manipulative by doing all these things just to get into her pants ) are why nice guys are unlucky in love.
I know for a fact in the seduction/ pick up artist (PUA) community* these behaviours are big No No's. Thats why they get lots of women and nice guys dont.

Women wants a guy who can challenge them from time to time (even when they think they are right). Someone who can interact with them. Someone with "Alpha Male" characteristics. Someone with confidence. Make life exciting. Bring some 'pazazz' and excitement to life. Someone who wont be carried off by the waves when life's problems challenges them.
Someone who has a sense of purpose and direction in life.


(*note: not that I agree with the seduction community lifestyle as I feel its very sexual exploitive, hurtful and emotionally & psychologically damages alot of people.)

[TiagZ]

Oh wow, honestly, i've learned a lot from this thread lol

I used to see myself as the nice guy too. Maybe not to the extent that some of you make it out to be (i don't give presents/gifts without reason, although i do say yes if i have no plans. i'm not willing to leave my friend alone just to go out on a date, unless if i know for sure that date will be meaningful in a good way).

But i know one thing for sure. i was definitely not assertive enough. i say WAS because being more educated, i have a firmer grasp on reality.
I'm a nice guy to hang around with, my friends find me funny and exciting. but with girls it can be different. i say can because, like a lot of guys, when you meet a very attractive girl and start talking to her, you sort of being to wonder "wow, is this really happening? geez i hope i don't come off as too inexperienced..". so i was always wondering if what i was saying (via text or in person) was a good thing or not.

Honestly, my input is like the others. be a good guy, listen and talk with your girl. But there's a really thin line and you can cross it quite easily. i know that all too well.
Don't be a dick either, just be sure to show her, YOU are the man. Not her, she doesn't get to push you around and have you at her grasp at all times. Tell her "no" when necessary (take this with a grain of salt...) and perhaps, tell her no in the near future. just to prove to her that you aren't always going to be around.
After gathering the information that i did, i feel like that wouldn't be a bad idea.

[MynameisJesus]

I am a really nice guy and people are always telling me this. So why is it that nice guys like me are so unlucky in love.

Here's the truth

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYY3vDnHr3A&feature=mh_lolz&list=WL7C5C60C 9F6A4DB44]YouTube - &#x202a;12 Reasons Women Can&#39;t Stand Nice Guys!&#x202c;&rlm;[/url]

It's not unlucky. It will just never work.

Check out this song too. It's a bit of a parody but it contains a lot of truth

[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fz3zFqLc3E]YouTube - &#x202a;NICE GUYS&#x202c;&rlm;[/url]

[UnknownXV]

Ya see, the problem for me is taking the initiative. I'm not a pushover. I do what I want when I want, I'm not jealous, etc.. I like the girl, I want her, and that's it. However, I can't freaking make a move..

[ForMadmenOnly]

Because you don't know how to say 'NO' thats why. Woman don't like men who cater to us even when we're being a bitch. We respect a man who has the ballzz to call us on our shit and "nice" guys never do ... instead of calling us on our shit you try to buy back our favor with flowers of some other crap. Learn to tell a woman "NO" and she will respect your ass.

That being said. There is a type of guy that is way better than the "nice" guy and a thousand times better than the "bad boy." He is the "good" guy and he'll be nice and confident and assertive while being attentive and available and not afraid of calling us on the shit that we always seem to be trying out.

Why why why?? Why "[be] a bitch". And why is not ok to forgive you that?

Why do you have to "try out shit" all the time? And why do you have to test men all the time?

I don't understand. I really simply don't.

I am a genuinely good and quite guy. I simply cannot say no.


And funny enough my last gf was a Canadian one. When we met she was extremely insecure, because her ex cheated on her. She told me she is looking for a nice guy. Since day one she was testing me with all the usual female tricks.

I got abused, sweared at and emotionally bullied. I forgave her everything. I would always say "Baby you don't even have to say sorry".

But the more I would say that the more she would push me around. She even cheated! I forgave her that too. And then she started the "i need time and space". I went crazy and made her life a living hell. I called her names and verbally abused her.

And guess what happened? Suddenly she couldn't understand why a "good guy" like me wanted to hurt her. Suddenly I was not a good guy anymore?!? I was a bad person!?!

I know its bad to generalize but all women in my life have been like this. They take take take, and when it is time to give back they are quick to sat NO. Not only girlfriends but female friends as well.

So +1 to the OP for his nice question.

A

[ForMadmenOnly]

... you're a weak pathetic pushover.

Too strong characterization for a person who likes to be nice to others. Pity others perceive him as a weak pathetic pushover.