Now I'm Hurt

[grey]

I spent time reading this entire thread.....I'm so curious now. Did you break up with her??

Have you been sleeping with someone else during your just friends time? if you have, women can sense that.

Even though you've been a good bf to her I'd still be pissed also if a guy decided to leave? you do have the choice of staying...so it seems. don't know ur exact job situation.

[Roymax]

I don't see how you could be the only one hurt when it's you who is leaving her. If you really care about her be a man and stand by her. Don't dump her out in the cold. After all, it was her who was going through the physical pain of pregnancy and abortion. You can't honestly expect her to pretend everything is cool the next day and she'll get over it just like that. She doesn't want to be abandoned so she'll find someone to take your place if you aren't there. My ex left me leaving me with a broken heart. You have a choice. I don't anymore. Don't take her fore granted. Women need to be respected not thrown away due to inconvenience. They have feelings too and want to be loved. Come on...you don't really have to leave her do you? If you do quit leaving the door open and filling her head with empty hope. If she doesn't want you to stay is because may be she doesn't want to go though any more painful crap with you. True love is about faith, commitment, sacrifice, and caring for the other person's physical and emotional needs...not running away from it. If you don't love her then you guys should move on instead wasting each other's time.

[misombra]

you guys should've kept the nc.

anyway just because she wanted to have sex with you doesn't mean she wants you to stay at her house, you know?

why did she have an abortion?

[shheadz]

I spent time reading this entire thread.....I'm so curious now. Did you break up with her??

Have you been sleeping with someone else during your just friends time? if you have, women can sense that.

Even though you've been a good bf to her I'd still be pissed also if a guy decided to leave? you do have the choice of staying...so it seems. don't know ur exact job situation.

We work together, and for months before we started dating she would bad mouth her a-hole boyfriend (It's odd how exes are always a-holes), and her loser friends. She hated him, and hated them. She was a 21 year old waitress with no real prospects in life, so she broke up with her boyfriend, ditched her friends, and started going to school online.

We started dating about a month after that. Flash forward about 2 months later, and she started talking to those loser friends again, and started ditching me to go to parties with them. She stopped doing her school work, and started taking me for granted. So I broke up with her.

A couple days later I apologized, and asked if we could get back together. She said no. She said she was tired of relationships, but she still wanted to be friends. I told her I absolutely didn't want to be just friends. That pissed her off. A couple days later she was acting like nothing ever happened, and wanted to hang out at my place, go out to bars with me, etc. We were still kissing, having sex, etc. Anytime I tried to talk to her about what we were doing together, and how I didn't want to be just friends, she'd get mad, we'd fight, and a couple days later she'd act like nothing ever happened, and ask to go out again. Things kept going like that for a month.

Finally I got tired of that. I felt like she was just stringing me along, and using me to avoid being lonely. The only time she would want to do anything with me was during the week when her friends all had to work. I sort of became a second class citizen in her life. So I decided it was time for me to move on, and started no contact. She got pretty upset about that, and started texting me that it really hurt her, etc. Finally I broke down and said we could at least be friends until I moved, and that's where we are today.

In the end I was just a rebound, but she really sucked me in. I've had girlfriends tell me they love me, but not the way she did. With almost tears in her eyes she'd tell me she loved me, and then hold me tight. She was talking about moving in together, and how I was the only thing that mattered in her life, and all that. At first I was only interested in her because she's pretty hot, but I ended up falling for her pretty hard. I've never really loved a girl I dated, so this whole thing has been pretty hard for me. It's been a completely new emotional experience for me.

[shheadz]

you guys should've kept the nc.

anyway just because she wanted to have sex with you doesn't mean she wants you to stay at her house, you know?

Yeah. Asking her was a mistake. Asking her to do anything with me before I leave was a mistake. I keep making a fool out of myself. I wanted a clean break from her after we split. I kept wanting a clean break from her several times, but she'd keep sucking me back in. I knew all along that she was using me to cushion the blow of the breakup, but she's an attractive and charming girl. She'd suck me back in any time I tried to completely break it off with her so I could move on. I let her take me on an emotional roller coaster ride so she could avoid being hurt and upset.

why did she have an abortion?

We both agreed it would be the right thing to do.

[shheadz]

The whole thing has me pretty ticked off. I really didn't even notice my ex existed before we started dating. I didn't even have much of a physical attraction to her. In fact, the girl I'm seeing now (headache girl) is the girl I was interested in, but she wasn't single at the time. My ex pursued me. She started flirting heavily with me. She's a very sweet and charming girl, and she started saying a lot of things to me that got my head a bit dizzy. She asked me out! When we started hanging out a bit, she was doing some very wild things sexually. She really sucked me in pretty good. She had both my heads going crazy.

Then once she had me, and was finally over her ex, and I guess getting bored of me, she spit me back out. I'm not trying to sound like a total victim here, but she is one hell of a man eater. I feel sorry for the next poor sap that crosses her path.

Edit: And I'm still letting her do it! She's using me to get over me until the next thing comes along.

[Roymax]

If that's the case according to what you're saying then you should respectfully move on. Don't be a crutch until she finds someone. There are other women out there who won't play with your heart and know what they want with their actions to back it.

[FrailWings]

If she's using you to move on. Just move on. Easier said than done. Because when she eventually moves on, you're going to feel the pain. Now is the opportunity to just, slowly move away. It'll be less painful.

I agree with Roymax, there is plenty more women, you haven't discovered yet out there. You were happy before you were with her, in time you'll be as happy without her. It's a cliche, but time is a great healer.

[Dogtoast]

Ive said it before and I'll say it again, Shheadz.

Its not even funny how similiar our situations are! I'm literally at work right now, and my ex just invited me out to lunch. I brought her lunch yesterday so she owes me. Thats my excuse for going....maybe she'll offer to bring it to me so I dont have to turn her down.

I've called this chick a "maneater" so many times. The dude she dumped me for got his heart broken after like 2 months i heard from a mutual friend. She sucked him in with amazing sex acts to....I KNOW IT! She gave phenominal head. That shits hard to forget.

Banging other girls helps, not alot, but a little.

[shheadz]

lol.. I'm good now. Some are one bitten twice shy, and I guess I'm three times bitten twice shy, but I'm thoroughly done now.

[cmacattack1]

You sure you weren't physically attracted to your ex? My ex was my hottest girlfriend so far, and that made letting go alot harder. It's not like you are dumb and it's not like you are unexperienced with break ups and relationships (are you?).

Thinking about how good looking my ex was compared to all my others really helped keep me in the emotional loop.

[Dogtoast]

You sure you weren't physically attracted to your ex? My ex was my hottest girlfriend so far, and that made letting go alot harder. It's not like you are dumb and it's not like you are unexperienced with break ups and relationships (are you?).

Thinking about how good looking my ex was compared to all my others really helped keep me in the emotional loop.

+1 hot girlfriends are definitely much harder to let go...

I wonder if its like that for women, I'd say that obviously it would be, but theyre girls

[grey]

We work together, and for months before we started dating she would bad mouth her a-hole boyfriend (It's odd how exes are always a-holes), and her loser friends. She hated him, and hated them. She was a 21 year old waitress with no real prospects in life, so she broke up with her boyfriend, ditched her friends, and started going to school online.

We started dating about a month after that. Flash forward about 2 months later, and she started talking to those loser friends again, and started ditching me to go to parties with them. She stopped doing her school work, and started taking me for granted. So I broke up with her.

A couple days later I apologized, and asked if we could get back together. She said no. She said she was tired of relationships, but she still wanted to be friends. I told her I absolutely didn't want to be just friends. That pissed her off. A couple days later she was acting like nothing ever happened, and wanted to hang out at my place, go out to bars with me, etc. We were still kissing, having sex, etc. Anytime I tried to talk to her about what we were doing together, and how I didn't want to be just friends, she'd get mad, we'd fight, and a couple days later she'd act like nothing ever happened, and ask to go out again. Things kept going like that for a month.

Finally I got tired of that. I felt like she was just stringing me along, and using me to avoid being lonely. The only time she would want to do anything with me was during the week when her friends all had to work. I sort of became a second class citizen in her life. So I decided it was time for me to move on, and started no contact. She got pretty upset about that, and started texting me that it really hurt her, etc. Finally I broke down and said we could at least be friends until I moved, and that's where we are today.

In the end I was just a rebound, but she really sucked me in. I've had girlfriends tell me they love me, but not the way she did. With almost tears in her eyes she'd tell me she loved me, and then hold me tight. She was talking about moving in together, and how I was the only thing that mattered in her life, and all that. At first I was only interested in her because she's pretty hot, but I ended up falling for her pretty hard. I've never really loved a girl I dated, so this whole thing has been pretty hard for me. It's been a completely new emotional experience for me.

ok i figured there was more to this story. I understand your side now. She probably is still resentful that you broke up with her initially even though you made up later. As a woman, thats how I would be thinking.

I can see why you broke up with her though, its understandable.