Is it possible to fall back in love again?

[turbey]

"It is absolutely possible to fall back in love again. I've done it many many times."

How did that happen? If you feel comfortable answering. Don`t need to

[Bigboy77]

yes it is possible... My ex of 4 years dumped me said she wasnt in love or attracted to me anymore.

I worked hard on myself for 5 months and now she is in love with me again.. and tells me all the time.

[turbey]

BigBoy77

What did you do?

[Yggdrasil]

This may sound weird, but I fall over and over again in love with my wife.

It's been like that for over 25 years now.

Don't ask me, I can't explain it. It's the little things she does.

[turbey]

Yggdrasil

Hehe Keeping things "fresh"!

[Bigboy77]

turbey,
Read my post i made called " I've re-attracted her to me"
that's what i did.. it's under broken hearts forum.

[turbey]

Yeah! I`ve read it. And it`s really nice to hear that there is couple who get`s back together But I must admit, people were very negative against you.


But how`s thing going for you both?

[Seradin DaCuir]

Hello all. In my case it was me (the male) that fell out of love with my wife. We have been married for seven years and knew each other for about 5 years before we married. Last year we were nearly splitting up and it was mainly financial reasons that held us together then. About the same time I began an online affair. I told my wife, after all there was nothing to hide in my opinion, but in retrospect it would have been less cruel to wait until we were physically seperated. But the affair took flight quickly and I was deeply infatuated. I live in Canada and travelled to Texas so we could meet. It was pretty scarey but we seemed to hit it off - in every department. Three months later she came to Canada. My wife had moved into her own apartment by then. This time things didn't go quite so well. By the time she left I realized my romantic dream was over and she was not the girl for me. I felt devastated, even though it was me who decided to call it quits - I just knew I couldn't live with her in a long term relationship. There are so many things you cannot tell about someone simply via email, even though you feel you know their mind so well. Anyway, I did something that now seems very cowardly. I asked my wife to take me back. At the time it seemed the right thing to do. She seemed fresh and different and much more independent, something I admire. She said she still loved me despite evertything and so I moved in with her. This was more than I deserved I know. It felt like "going home". Now, after only a month, I feel that maybe I have made another mistake. I have hardly made love to my wife and and know I am not the companion I should be. I am getting very grumpy again - the way I was before we split. Yet despite all this she is very understanding and has even helped me talk out my feelings about the failed affair. Yes - she seems to be an angel. Yet for me there is no romance. Which is why I seached out this thread. Is it possible to fall in love again? If I could I would be the person she wants me to be - best friend and a great lover, the way things used to be. As it is I seem to be somthing of a monster. I have a broken heart in Texas and a devoted wife whom I don't give love and consideration too but who wants me to stay and try again. If feel I at least owe it to her to try. But how do you try - can we ever get the spark back? Or should I do everyone a favour and be a man alone, until I sort my inner garbage out, before I think about any kind of romantic encounters again. Sorry this was sooo long....

I am going through the same thing with my wife right now, but in the opposite direction. I could write a novel, but lets say I am for what I take ownership for responsible for her falling out of love for me. I have known my wife for almost 15 years. Five dating and ten years this august 14th married. I spent the last 3 years in a dark place. Angry, indifferent, dismissive, you name it. I am responsible for my actions. My wife has her flaws too, primarily not knowing how to communicate here feelings. This is what she is responsible for in me feeling how I was feeling towards her. I can say this is the primary reason why I was all those things. Work and my outside life was also a contributing factor. I drove everyone away. I was also putting a wedge between myself and my 3 year old daughter. Unfortunately these two massive forces was a terrible combination. It took one huge fight and my wife uttering "I want to separate" to crash my world down. However, that was only the beginning. My wife too with her feelings of being "unloved" by me sent her into a dark place. When I say "Facebook destroys relationships," I am not kidding. If you're in a relationship right now with trust issues, DUMP YOUR ACCOUNT! I dumped mine. I had to. She got so into it that she had two accounts. One for "the real her" and one for the "bad/sexual/trampy/whatever" her too. This lead to other things I won't even mention, and eventually an online infatuation that she says she fell in love over. (while it only lasted 4 weeks and the man was "noble enough" to dump her because he didn't want to destroy a marriage, she still is heartbroken over him) They say a broken heart cannot kill you, but it can make you feel what is like to die and still live to tell about it. On her end, she wants our relationship (I intentionally ignore the word "marriage" because it's just a word and means nothing. You can be married and have no relationship) to work. She has gone from wanting to separate, to wanting to want to, to wanting to, to really wanting to. But she has admitted to me right now she either has no feelings for me, or if she does she doesn't know how to process them, or she feels numb. And she still has lingering sadness over her online thing. On my end, if trust is measured in percentages, 100% is where any relationship HAS to be to have love to be lasting. I give it a 68% right now. More and more everyday, but it is not at 100%. She has backed off Facebook about 95% from before, stopped doing all the other things she was doing on email, etc., and we have talked MASSIVELY a lot about it and many other things. But the talking is very cathartic, and while it's productive, it's still painful. To be told you are still heartbroken over an online relationship and that there is a possibility she won't have those feelings for me hurts a lot. And like a dirty sponge, the more you squeeze it, the more scum comes out. That's part of the process of falling out of love. There are REASONS for it to happen, and a PROCESS to turn things around. One of the big reasons for people breaking up when that happens is someone knee jerks, and doesn't give it time for the process to heal. I almost did that myself a few days ago. And yes, you will regret it for the rest of your life, or spend too much time trying to forgive yourself, and you may end up hurting another person in another relationship later on. The truth is, in a relationship, love rises and falls. That's the truth. There is no denying it. I fell out of love with my wife once too, however I didn't do what she did, but I did other things like being angry, dismissive, and indifferent as I mentioned before. The trick is to have it that the both of you don't fall out of love at the same moment. That's very tricky to fix, and most of the time ends the relationship. However, if you have a solid foundation to begin with based on other things, love has a greater chance to return. But to have to realize that there is always the possibility that things may end, and I have come to that realization with my wife too. I want her to have deep feelings for me as well again, but I have to realize that if those feelings don't come back, I have to decide do I want to spend another 35 years with her and die lonely? It's an answer I am not sure of yet, but I am walking towards it. How? By being strong for me, and in turn being strong for her and my daughter. A lot of positive changes have occurred in me, but it took almost losing my love of my life to realize it. How many times in life do we get second chances to fix something this big? Not many. If she doesn't get those feelings back, it's not my fault. I tried my best, and that's all I can do.

[turbey]

Somebody else out there who`ve fell in love with their ex again?

[KoHein]

That will depend on how long have the relationship has been.

(1) Falling in love with a person over a month and falling out of love over the following 2 weeks - Rarely it is possible. I would give it 30% Reason? Probably that person is trying out the relationship if it works.

(2) Falling in love with a person over a serious relationship (half a year) and falling out of love suddenly or without reason. That means something went wrong in the relationship! It may still be possible to make up but it will depend on whether the person would give himself and the other party a chance.

(3) So what is possible since none seem to be possible? Make the person falls in love with you again! Talk to him or her. See what goes wrong. And see if the relationship can make up again.

Hope that helps a little.

KoHein

[turbey]

Yeah! We ended our relationship pretty good. She just hadn`t the same feelings for me anymore. She said that she hoped that we would find ourself togheter some day in the future, and that I was perfect for her. I know her, she wouldn`t say this without meaning it.

But I think I`m gonna just give her some space and keep living my life...and maybe in the future we will find togheter again Who knows...



But I`ll think