would you stay or would you go?

**searock** · 12-07-12, 04:11 PM

Yep, that's why he started dating me before officially breaking up with her (by the way, he tried breaking up with her a month earlier, but she never agreed to meet up with him), he said that the relationship was already over. Funny thing is, she was actually surprised when he broke up with her, she didn't understand why. LOL.

Anyway, the reason he is so unwilling to feel "eternal unconditional love" again is that it forcibly kept him into a relationship that was making him miserable for 2.5 years longer than he should have. He would reach extremely low points in which he would just want to end it, but then he felt "rushes" of that love and he thought "hey wait a minute, my love for her is eternal!" and so he wouldn't break up. So yeah. Yesterday he told me that with me he feels different things, first of which, is happiness. He says that he will never again use love as an excuse to withstand "torture" (that's the term he used). I couldn't agree more, of course.

**toknow** · 12-07-12, 04:20 PM

The thing that could be a problem for you guys in the future is, if he has been scarred badly by his experience, sometimes it can permanently change and harden a person and make them not believe in love anymore. Making him unable to return your love.

**starbright08** · 12-07-12, 04:36 PM

Well from reading what you say I personally think the guy isn't over his ex. And if your relationship is so great then why is he basically telling you he isn't in love? I'm sorry but as you get older you will realize that wasting your time being with someone who doesn't love you is a big waste. Them not loving you means that they will always put them before you no matter the circumstance. It sounds like this is where the relationship maybe ending up I don't want to hurt your feelings but in a relationship a guy who loves you and can say it to you. Is really the guy who can give you true happiness and the best everything. So even tho your happy with the sex and its all fun that's not the kind of stuff that makes for a lasting relationship. And I think deep down you already know this since your asking its just the fact that. You love him your putting too much hope into it you shojuld follow your gut and instincts and trust yourself.

**searock** · 12-07-12, 05:01 PM

toknow, you're right and I am kind of scared about that. After my first heartbreak, I was set on never falling in love ever again. It worked, but only until I met my boyfriend. Then, I couldn't help it. I wish it would be the same for him - that he couldn't help but loving me - but as I said I had 7 years to recover, and he's had... well, less than one. Horrible timing I guess.

starbright, I agree. For now I still feel like I should wait a bit longer, since there has been so much progress in the past year. Maybe he just needs more time. And it's not like he doesn't love me right now already, he just has a hard time opening himself up completely. If I were only to judge by his behavior and not the things he says, I would think that he loves me, period. It's just that I am a type of person who needs verbal reassurance every once in a while (not often, like once a month).

**haxan** · 12-07-12, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by searock

Yep, that's why he started dating me before officially breaking up with her

searock, the other woman. I would've never guessed it :-P

**searock** · 12-07-12, 06:27 PM

Heheh, right? :-)

I do feel guilty for the ex, but that relationship was already dead by the time we started the emotional relationship (otherwise, it wouldn't have even started at all). He was truly miserable, and completely incapable of doing something about it (i.e. getting out) due to utter inexperience and emotional frailness.

**VincenzoG91** · 12-07-12, 10:35 PM

He sounds like such a delicate flower. This world is going to chew him up and spit him out.

**toknow** · 13-07-12, 04:58 AM

Originally Posted by VincenzoG91

He sounds like such a delicate flower. This world is going to chew him up and spit him out.

Bahahhaah...This is a case of the red flower calling the white flower, a flower.

Vincenzo, You are just as delicate and vulnerable as he is, the only difference is the circumstances. In fact, you both are more vulnerable than a child. And the fact that you don't realize that, makes you even more vulnerable.

**searock** · 13-07-12, 05:01 AM

I have to admit, he does have a bit of a "lost puppy" charm. It just makes me want to cuddle and protect him! XD

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