Would you rather Love or Be Loved?

[GBRaul]

Actually when you love someone you do not necessarily have to be a slave. You can still have your own dignity. I think it's good to give out love. After all, this world needs more people who love others, though not necessarily in THAT way. Sometimes it's nice to know you have love to give to other people. I don't know... it's sort of a complicated feeling cos on one hand you are loving someone but on the other you are hurting yourself.

[LucidDream]

I dont mind a little emotional pain.
Sometimes its nice to know you have the feelings to be able to be hurt.
Personaly, a little hurt every now and then makes me feel alive, and adds contrast to life.

-If we are unwilling to be aware of the dark, we cannot see the light.

[Breezy18]

Loving someone does not necessarily mean you are hurting yourself, GB, as long as you stay in control of your emotions. And giving someone love that is unrequited does not mean being at their beckon call, (ie: slave, unless that's what you want), but rather showing them that they matter to someone. Being there for them through thick and thin, but at the same time not allowing them to take advantage of your kind heart and play on your emotions. Real love, TRUE love, is being happy for that person even at the expense of your own, without being a martyr. It takes finesse, yes, but the feeling is OH, so grand.

[GBRaul]

Wow... you make it sound so great. I've only loved and been hurt Looks like I'm not noble enough heh

[LucidDream]

I fell in love with a good friend, I asked her out and she declined. We both handled it very maturely though and now we are close friends.
I think me having a crush on her has actualy improved our friendship, I realy enjoy being around her and it shows, we bot enjoy eachothers company.

I guess this experience is why I would rather love than not at all, its a great feeling and In my experience it is well worth the hardship. Just seeing her smile once puts me in a good mood.

[Breezy18]

I know the feeling Lucid.....

Looks like I'm not noble enough

Don't look at it that way GB. I've been hurt too. It's inevitable. BUT, I have learned to be more accepting of other people's emotions, which in turn, has made it easier on me to love without being loved back, and STILL be okay.

[GBRaul]

Not experienced enough then lol... I've loved once and only once before

[LucidDream]

Only once?
Ok well be warned, I think (and so far everyone has agreed) that the 2nd and 3rd are much stronger than the 1st crush. Even though you cant realy imagine it whilst your on your 1st crush, it happens.

[GBRaul]

Oh my. You make me wanna be a monk lol. And you're right, I can't imagine it. And yes only once lol.

[GBRaul]

Just goes to show how special that girl is eh? Heh... Oh well, it's over

[LucidDream]

Monks have funny haircuts with giant bald patches in the middle

[Breezy18]

Perhaps the second and third crushes are stronger, Lucid, but that doesn't necessarily mean you are in love. I had lots of crushes before I actually fell in love, (if in fact I did fall). I was seventeen and the feelings were overwhelming. It took me TEN years to get over him. I married someone else while still trying to bury feelings for him. It was the hardest thing I had gone through up to til that point. I still think of him today and wonder what he's doing. I no longer harbour these deep feelings, but I care for him. He's in Switzerland, or was, last time we spoke. I have never felt anything remotely close to that since and probably never will again. Not even my husband held my emotions captive the way "A" did. It's nice to be able to remember the feeling without being overcome with sadness and melancholy.

[GBRaul]

I try to bury the feelings in me. I can't have them clouding my mind with my exams looming round the corner. And I was thinking more along the line of monks being bald lol. I don't really mind, my hairstyle is rather close to that

[LucidDream]

Well, I guess if your celibate, your appearence doesnt mean the same thing to you anymore, lol.