Art of the compliment

[vashti]

DM, if you are actually listening to any of grk's advice, giga and I will take turns smacking you on the wiener.

[Gigabitch]

First of all, Vash, you know he would like that, and secondly, why take turns? I'm sure there's enough wiener there for simultaneous smacking.

[bohemiandonut]

Hate to echo your own personal broken record GrkScorp, but hot damn you've got a lot of free time.

Okay let me bounce this "opener" off my fellow sargers and HB's:

"Hey, what's the best way to get someone to leave you alone?"

Notes:
I really am trying to get someone to leave me alone; my "rebound" from breakup 1 of 2. She's so annoying, never should have slept (SLEPT) in her bed that night... so vengeful I was. So this has the advantage of being easy to expand on BUT...

Though this is a DHV (the forum girls are getting so hot from all this sexy jargon I'm sure), does it come across too cocky? I.e. bragging? Gentlemen, your thoughts.

[Charlie Boy II]

What? ...

[Kromat]

If your trying to compliment someone or trying to get someone's attention,
practice by going to social gatherings, like clubbing with friends, crafts, hobbies
of interest, to get comfortable talking to women and what they like to do and how to be treated.
When you start to think of them as just as one of your buddies or gals, that new
guy or gal that seems like he / she would be a trust worthy and fun friend to have,
then you'll start to open up and be so focused that your nerves won't really have a
presence. Rejection is the only thing that is making us stay away from them,
but guys are the same way too.
It can be the same way when it's a guy-guy or girl-girl friendship that they've
known their each other a long time, but really don't like their other friend which
they hang around, not every is going be on your side, each person has someone
that is of interest because they show that they understand how they are feeling
and support them with advice that is meaningful to make a connection.
Most of my friends that I have, is because of the trust that we have built around each other.
When a time arrives that we need to help, we'll do our best to support each other
by maintaining our strong bond, so that It will last when It's really required, as we start
to get married and settle down with our future wives or husbands.

[TheSphinx]

I really am trying to get someone to leave me alone; my "rebound" from breakup 1 of 2. She's so annoying, never should have slept (SLEPT) in her bed that night...Though this is a DHV (the forum girls are getting so hot from all this sexy jargon I'm sure), does it come across too cocky? I.e. bragging? Gentlemen, your thoughts.

Does it matter how it comes across to her if you don't enjoy her company anyway?

Just let her know that you're not into her.

"Hey, what's the best way to get someone to leave you alone?"

If you intend to use this as an opener on someone you're interested in, I can see a clever and/or witty woman respond by not acknowledging you.

It serves as both an answer to your question and a response to your approach.

~Sphinx

[bohemiandonut]

Does it matter how it comes across to her if you don't enjoy her company anyway?

Just let her know that you're not into her.



If you intend to use this as an opener on someone you're interested in, I can see a clever and/or witty woman respond by not acknowledging you.

It serves as both an answer to your question and a response to your approach.

~Sphinx

I'm not asking about the rebound, I'm just ignoring her. Which leads me to how I would respond to your "clever and/or witty woman": "Oh, so you would just ignore them until they went away. Does that work?"

[TheSphinx]

If you are using the "rebound" as a follow up to your opener, I would just add, "Can I get your opinion on something?" before asking the question.

Note that "opinion openers" are becoming more commonplace, so if you are in an area where a lot of fellows are using material, it will most likely tip the women off as to what your interests really are.

~Sphinx

[bohemiandonut]

Yeah, part of me feels like "the game" has become so mainstream it is on the verge of collapsing in on itself. HB's abhor a vacuum though, so I guess it's up to me to develop the new strategy, write a book about it, entrance a myspace following of 50,000+, and destroy the game all over again.

[GrkScorp]

Okay let me bounce this "opener" off my fellow sargers and HB's:

"Hey, what's the best way to get someone to leave you alone?"

Notes:
I really am trying to get someone to leave me alone; my "rebound" from breakup 1 of 2. She's so annoying, never should have slept (SLEPT) in her bed that night... so vengeful I was. So this has the advantage of being easy to expand on BUT...

Though this is a DHV (the forum girls are getting so hot from all this sexy jargon I'm sure), does it come across too cocky? I.e. bragging? Gentlemen, your thoughts.

I'm not a PUA, I don't like PUAs.. and WBPUAs are even worse! (i'm not calling you either one)

Short note: You goal should NEVER be to go out and pick-up women.. (You're always going out to have a great time, meet new people, and if they just so happen to be women who just so happen to be interesting and worth your time, you will qualify them, and perhaps after them insisting, you will accept their number, and maybe give them a call..)

Opener: I like the opener, i'll give it a run about 10+ times this weekend and let you know how it goes.. It would definitely work, and big kudos to your creativity.. (The follow-up story is actually a DLV, i'll explain!)

Human Nature (Self-esteem & confidence): Let's take an extreme example, perhaps so extreme it's a little sexist.. If a woman discovers you have money (DHV).. If you brag to a woman about how much money you have, even if it's true and you have bank statements on you (DLV).. Why?

(Theory): The prefrontal-cortex is home to what we call the "ego" and in control of the perception of "self".. It can get stimulated both positively & negitively, and it usually seeks positive stimulation, and avoids negative stimulation.. It's responsible for many of the things we do/say.. But the ego is also aware of our "internal reality", and will try to positively stimulate itself in an effort to improve this internal reality (if it's not happy with it).. The most obvious way it will do this is by (showing-off, bragging, putting down others to seem higher in a relative sense).. When it does this, it creates positive stimulation, BUT reveals tons of information about the person's internal reality! Only someone who was not content with their internal reality (low self-esteem, insecure, not confident) would feel the need to do this.. Therefore, such actions are DLVs..

The opener is fine, in fact, it's brilliant! But the (story) is a DLV because you are using yourself (to 10's, when you enter a set and start talking about yourself, you DLV because you imply you're seeking validation/attention).. you make matters worse by trying to push and advertize the fact that you had a girlfriend (it's too obvious, bragging, also a DLV).. and to really make matters worse you push and advertize that you had sex (very needy in terms of attention/validation-seeking, bragging, showing-off, DLV)

Your opener (modified): Same opener, but different story! (Have a pivot with you who's in on the story)

- My friend right there (girl) met this guy in one of her classes, i'm not going to bore you with the details, but basically he was a fun guy, she really liked him, and he really liked her too.. The problem was that he started to call.. 10 times a day! One time he called her 30-something times in one day! He would wait outside her house, he would come by her job and get her gifts, and obviously.. she was getting a little creeped out.. But she's nice, and so is he, she doesn't want to hurt his feelings or be mean to him or anything, because they still have to see eachother in class.. but she really doesn't want him talking to her anymore or seeing her outside of class.. And she asked us what to do, but we're guys, we never have the problem of getting guys away from us, well.. strait guys anyway.. but, what would you girls do if you were her, to get rid of a guy like that? (subtle PD, when you ask the question, look at her friends, to imply that they would have more experience with this problem than their friend)

(They say stuff)

- Really? How does that work? I don't know.. have you ever tried that before? What happened?

(Tells you story).. (hook-point is when you stack from her story, or do routine that you can link to story)

What does this story do?

- Plausable deniability: It's a perfectly plausable situation, she can rationalize to herself (after AD, DQ, FTC & PDs) that you may have just come over to ask her group a question..
- "not going to bore you with details" (DHV) you're not seeking her time & attention, so you don't sit there talking her ear off with details for the sake of talking to her..
- "and obviously.. she was getting a little creeped out" (DHV) you're indirectly implying that you're socially intelligent enough to realize that what this guy did was creepy, and also implying through that, that you would not do such a thing..
- "but she's nice, doesn't want to be mean.. what would you girls do to get rid of a guy like that?" (ego-ladder, comfort-building).. You're playing with her ego.. You're suggesting being (nice, and not mean).. and then she's going to give you her top-secret tricks-of-the-trade on how she snubs guys to get them to leave.. Notice, everything she'll say, she won't be able to do! (or else it will make her ego feel not-nice/mean).. so you're making yourself snub-proof..
- "strait guys anyway" (DHV) it's funny, and the subcommunication is that you're so confident in your male sexuality that you're not afraid to make a joke that borders on the homosexual (note: pink ties/shirts).. it also implies that you're attractive and being want you, but it doesn't brag (because you're not talking about women, you're not even making it a point, it's a joke! a quick, subtle humor insert)

Powerful DHV: (self-humor).. Something I love to do for comfort-building is get them playing the 5-rule game (not the 5-question game).. and one of the questions I ask is "what's the most embarrassing moment of your life?".. They ALWAYS throw back this question my way.. My story?

- Hmm.. Well.. I was going to my friend's party in HS.. I think this was back when I was 16.. So this girl I liked was asking me about Greece, and I just started to tell her about the country.. She was from California and asked me if we had oranges in Greece.. so I laughed and looked at her like she had three eyes.. Yeah, we obviously have oranges in Greece, it's almost the same climate as California (San Diego).. So our group (3 guys, 4 girls; notice the DHV) stopped by the grocery store because I thought we should get some stuff to cook at the party instead of just chips and soda.. So I was walking by and told the girl that I never saw those small potatoes before.. She looked around and had no idea what I was talking about, we were at the fruit section.. So I point to the small little hairy potatoes and she starts laughing hard.. she calls over everyone else and they're all on the floor.. I felt to embarrassed and I had no idea what was so funny until everyone told me those weren't small hairy potatoes.. they were kiwis

The story is also a DHV.. only confident people have no reservations about sharing embarrassing moments and laughing at themselves (when it's actually funny).. so you would have DHV-ed within the story, DHV-ed because the story is funny, and DHV-ed because you communicated confidence.. (your internal reality is so strong, it's almost unaffected by the negative stimulation that telling this story causes, heck, you're even laughing at yourself, how confident)

[GrkScorp]

Yeah, part of me feels like "the game" has become so mainstream it is on the verge of collapsing in on itself. HB's abhor a vacuum though, so I guess it's up to me to develop the new strategy, write a book about it, entrance a myspace following of 50,000+, and destroy the game all over again.

Or simply not follow what "the game" says..

Why not start off like D'Angelo? With a PD?

"Wow! How many hours a week do you spend on the bicycle?"
Her: (Blah blah; if she's not a 10, she'll entertain this thought for a little to try and squeeze a compliment and some flattery out of you for a good ego-boost)
"I'm just asking because your calves just stood out; my uncle is part of the mountain-climbing team, and his calves are huge! You look like one of those people from the muscle magazine ads, at least your calves.. Do you take stuff or they just got that way from working out?"
Her: (Blah blah.. not quite a compliment, so you clearly didn't come over to flatter her and gain her favor, she's feeling self-critical.. she'll try to justify it and might even sh*t-test you to make you take it back "don't")
"Good, stay away from pills.. not for anything else, but all they do is give you expensive pee.. I think people go overboard these days with the media making everyone think they have to be perfect.. Honestly, for as long as you're healthy and feel great, that's all that matters.. My cousin is about the same as you, and she just cries all the time, thinking that boys won't like her because she's fat.. I swear, this is why I don't watch television sometimes, and she's such a sweetheart, such a nice girl.."
Her: (Blah blah.. you basically called her fat, so prepare to handle a sh*t-test.. the plus side, she'll clearly rationalize that you're not hitting on her; but clearly, no more PDs for a while)
"Stack onto how shallow people are.. but the media makes them that way.. that people are generally good.. it's very rare to find genuinely BAD people.. but generally more rare to find genuinely interesting people.. ask her if she agrees.. this is her chance to hit you back.. let her.. laugh about it.. then qualify her (we obviously all THINK we're interesting people, until we're forced to think about ourselves.. for example.. you would obviously say that you're an interesting person.. but what are your 5 best qualities that define you as a person?).. now if she starts to qualify.. she's hooked.. you keep stacking from there"

Wingman sacrafice.. (crash-and-burn):

- Send over a wing with a mission to crash and burn.. stand in close proximity before your wing comes up.. Let him open poorly.. let her snub him.. and as she does.. look at him then look at her as if to imply that you know what he's doing and that it's hilarious.. she'll snub him.. and then you walk over.. "Wow, poor guy, that has to be the worst approach i've ever seen" (Wing-sacs are great openers.. why? SUPER plausable deniability)

- Send over a wing with a mission to slowly fcuk things up.. let him open effectively and start to casually walk towards close proximity and observing what's happening casually (with friends).. then your wing is going to start to telegraph interest (quite obviously) and expressing his interest in her.. she's going to feel uncomfortable and will be contemplating a way to snub him.. While this is going on however, you'll be looking at her as if you know what's going on.. you'll walk over to her to save her.. "Hey you! Where'd you go, i've been looking all over for you! Who's you're friend? (Look at your wing) I hope you're not hitting on my girl (don't say girl-friend, leave it ambiguous).. Anyway, Michelle wants to talk to you.. (look at your wing again) we'll be back.." You walk her away from that guy.. you tell her that you have girl-cousins who get hit on by guys like that all the time, so by now you know the drill and how uncomfortable of a situation it is to be in.. (Instant comfort, from her POV you just saved her, plus DHV "protector of loved ones", plus plausable deniability)