girlfriend hooked up with friend

[Gigabitch]

--One thing that bothered/kind of still bothers me is that she had no problem being friends with Al and Al's GF, but she says she shrugs things off fairly easily, and that she doesn't necessarily hold her friends to the moral standards she sets for herself.

I strongly feel that hiding the fact that she had ****ed your friend in a bathroom 6 months ago for all this time speaks to a pretty loose moral code for herself as well. This won't end well.

When you come back here in a few months moaning about how she broke your heart, I want it in writing that I TOLD YOU SO.

[Only-virgins]

^ You've obviously been burnt real bad.

And it ain't a completely different situation than what I've been in. I've had friends who cheat. If I outed every person I knew who cheated well hell I'd have 1) a bad big mouth rep 2) few friends who trust me both rightfully so. Doesn't sound like a genious move on me no matter what my morals say.

What Cbrider said but honestly you value you friends to high. I like my friends and enjoy their company but wouldn't cry over them. Lots of good people in the world who I can get as friends and will do a better job at it. A lover is one thing but friends honestly are disposable. Friends will leave you with out thinking about it.

She hooked up at the party with a random before him. I would dump her just out of the creepy factor. Women need to stop using that excuse that they weren't dating, sometimes somethings are just a no. Like if you had sex with a bunch of gorillas...I really don't care if we were dating at the time or not lol it is over...doing my best friend in the bathroom same thing...don't care...it is over. Sometimes this is why people say don't sleep around so much, it will come back at you. There is a consequence see. Oh and most of all she is a liar, she didn't let him know. Obviously she doesn't always have to spill who she was with but if he is hanging out with the dude than that is just disrespectful. I don't even see how he can continue to respect her after this and date her at all.

Men need to be more like men. Something bothers you than GTFO. I love the saying "I don't need this shit".

[Only-virgins]

Oh and if I found out my girl liked to do random guys in the bathroom at house parties I would be at a doctor immediately to get tested for STDs. My friend just found out yesterday that he got Chlamydia just like this but he was with the girl in a laundry room.

[Gigabitch]

Women need to stop using that excuse that they weren't dating, sometimes somethings are just a no. Like if you had sex with a bunch of gorillas...I really don't care if we were dating at the time or not lol it is over...

Note to self: Do not drink cream soda while reading O-v's posts.

[Only-virgins]

Note to self: Do not drink cream soda while reading O-v's posts.

More computer keyboards get ruined this way.

[girl68]

you value you friends to high. A lover is one thing but friends honestly are disposable. Friends will leave you with out thinking about it.

She hooked up at the party with a random before him. I would dump her just out of the creepy factor. Women need to stop using that excuse that they weren't dating, sometimes somethings are just a no. Oh and most of all she is a liar, she didn't let him know. Obviously she doesn't always have to spill who she was with but if he is hanging out with the dude than that is just disrespectful.
Men need to be more like men. Something bothers you than GTFO. I love the saying "I don't need this shit".

I repectfully disagree with your entire post.

I value my friends because they would not leave my side. My "love of my life" dumped my ass my friends picked up my peices. Lovers can come and go, same with some friends but my very best friends are family and family never leaves. Maybe you should say YOUR friends are disposable and would leave YOU hight and dry without looking back... but mine? No way.

If you want to write off "the one" because she hooked up with your buddy, but you can't knock someone else for wanting to overlook something that isn't wrong. For the record, men to the same god damn thing. "I didn't ask her to be exclusive so TECHNICALLY I'm still single...." yeah whatever. Don't blame women this can be done by both sexes.

So you believe lying by omission is still lying- whatever. I don't she didn't lie, he never asked... (unless he did ask and she did lie... don't know). I would NEVER tell a potential man "oh yeah, I blew your buddy so and so..." Sure, I can understand if he's upset when/ if he finds out... I would even understand if he dumps me. But I know that's none of his god damn business. Nor am I "lying" about it by not telling.

'Men need to be more like Men' Please.

[girl68]

Oh, one more thing to say about Al. You mad at him for keeping from you (the OP) that he slept with your girl!? Can't really be THHHHATgood of a friend if he doesn't fess up.

[ctom18]

girl68, I will say that you have been helpful, so thanks. She never lied about it, and no, she didn't ever bring it up, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have either.

We've had lots of discussions about this, and she's been very honest about this and in the other conversations about both of our pasts that stemmed from the initial conversation about this event. (My past includes one-night stands too). She's told me enough things that would have been way easier for her to keep a secret for me to know that she has been very honest with me.

Also, I have absolutely no respect for Al anymore, and our friendship is over.

[Sallyx]

it all comes down to weither or not she loves you

if she does she'll sit down and talk to you about it - try and not yell. When i first started dating my boyfriend - i was almost like that - i would kiss random guys for the fun of it. since ive been with my bf ive realised how brilliant it can be just to be with one guy.

if she doesnt
then shell shy away from you, dont just give up once - try again. but if she doesn't talk with you then she doesn't love you enough to face up to wat shes done and who she was. let her know you're unhappy and if she doesn't respond in a calm manner then honestly no matter how happy you are shes never going to be there for you.

[girl68]

If you need time to "accept" this by all means take it. But at the same time don't bring this up time and time again. It's not going to go away by talking about it. At some point there will be nothing more to be said by either of you. At that point you need to accept or walk.

At least she's being honest about it all. It could even be a little bit of a regret for her. Whatever. Neither of you are squeaky clean. So let Al go live on a cheating liar. Your girl however is not a liar, nor a cheater. If you really love her and can try to put this out of your head, then at the end of the day know she choose you.

Goodluck.

[Only-virgins]

If you want to write off "the one" because she hooked up with your buddy, but you can't knock someone else for wanting to overlook something that isn't wrong. For the record, men to the same god damn thing. "I didn't ask her to be exclusive so TECHNICALLY I'm still single...." yeah whatever. Don't blame women this can be done by both sexes.

So you believe lying by omission is still lying- whatever. I don't she didn't lie, he never asked... (unless he did ask and she did lie... don't know). I would NEVER tell a potential man "oh yeah, I blew your buddy so and so..." Sure, I can understand if he's upset when/ if he finds out... I would even understand if he dumps me. But I know that's none of his god damn business. Nor am I "lying" about it by not telling.

'Men need to be more like Men' Please.

"The one" hahaha, Life isn't the ****ing Matrix. Holding back the past from me would be reasonable if I don't ask but if you blew my buddy and I hang out with him everyday that would be disrespectful. You don't care for my dignity and integrity in this situation at all. It is a selfish thing to hold back something someone else should know to make yourself feel better and achieve nothing but your desired consequence. If he wants to forgive let him, but I have the right to call him weak because that is what he is.

What is this resorting to stereotyping crap that you do when you are face planted by a post? "Oh bu bu bu buh but the men do this too...wahhhh wahhh". I don't. Don't use this "all men do it" crap with me because it has nothing to do with this situation. It is him and her. Not what you think what all men do and what all women do.

So you believe lying by omission is still lying- whatever.

There are situation where with-holding the truth is the worst kind of lie of all.

[girl68]

Ohhh I get it... you just always want to lay the blame on women but the minute I say listen bud, the same shit goes down from you men you say I can't hold an argument. Alright then. "Whatever" (how's that for a total face palm of a response?)

[Gigabitch]

For the record, men to the same god damn thing. "I didn't ask her to be exclusive so TECHNICALLY I'm still single...." yeah whatever. Don't blame women this can be done by both sexes.

I went through something like this with my husband. Like I've said before, lying is just one facet of sneaky, weasel behavior. Omission still sucks, even if it isn't technically lying.

This whole thing would never, never fly with me.

Having a relationship where you don't have to hide shit is a wonderful thing. Getting there can be painful, but it's worth it.

[Only-virgins]

Ohhh I get it... you just always want to lay the blame on women but the minute I say listen bud, the same shit goes down from you men you say I can't hold an argument. Alright then. "Whatever" (how's that for a total face palm of a response?)

No, the issue never generalized all women. That was my point. Of course though you will stray off the subject. He should dump her. She with held information he should have known and ****ing someone in a bathroom who is your buddy is weird. There isn't anything really more than that to it. No more explanation need. Time to leave after that.

[girl68]

You express your opinion as fact. I express mine as an opinion.