Hmmm ?

[Only-virgins]

I am laughing because I see you are having a similar argument with Misombra on another thread! Must be that "men are from Mars, women are from Venus" thing. Only, again, I think it is funny that the male in this case is the Romantic while we girls are more practical. :-D

Yes, sadly the heat/passion/lust/infatuation (what you apparently call love)one feels at the beginning of a new relationship begins to die down little-by-little after you've had sex a few times. Has to; can you imagine how unproductive our lives would be if all we ever wanted to do was... well, you know!

I think people who are with unattractive partners are more likely to love them (in the way that I define love) despite a lack of chemistry rather than because of the presence of chemistry.

Hey now..I dont know about me being a romantic but I know what I know and thats what I believe. Actually to tell you the truth about productivity is that nature and evolution find sex to be the highest scale of productivity. It is after all the way we breed. Anyways...if it does die down then doesn't it usually begin with a new person then? ..starting the entire cycle all over again and you not being productive again lol. I am in-capable of the type of love you say. I don't think I am an evil person but to me people I am not attracted to I prefer not to have relationship with.

[shh!]

[QUOTE=Only-virgins]

-->nature and evolution find sex to be the highest scale of productivity.

Yes, but constant sex will not provide food and shelter, raise kids, take care of you when you are sick, provide education, etc. This is what I mean when I say unproductive.

-->Anyways...if it does die down then doesn't it usually begin with a new person then? ..starting the entire cycle all over again and you not being productive again lol.

Yes, unless you have made a commitment to love that person (in the way I define it) for a longer period of time.

-->I am in-capable of the type of love you say. I don't think I am an evil person but to me people I am not attracted to I prefer not to have relationship with.

Of course you are not evil, and I truly don't mean to be condascending when I say that this is probably a function of age. I am guessing you are in your early to mid 20's. Males are biologically driven to spread their seed as widely as possible during their peak sexual years, which I believe is the biological stage you are in. Women are biologically driven to hold on to that man to ensure he will help raise and provide for potential or existing offspring. This is not evil; it's biology. Your views about longer-term commitments will likely change once you get a bit older, assuming you are not inappropriately immature, which you don't seem to be.

New dumb question: How can you respond to previous posts line-by-line rather than having entire post appear in one box?

[misombra]

if you do this... [QUOTE=whoeveryouarequoting] and [/QUOTE=whoeveryouarequoting] whatever is between them will go in a box...

[shh!]

Damn! It didn't work, and the whole test post disappeared! I am an internet idiot! Thanks, anyway Misombra.

:-D

[Only-virgins]

Yes, but constant sex will not provide food and shelter, raise kids, take care of you when you are sick, provide education, etc. This is what I mean when I say unproductive.

I do not think that nature knows about education. Either way...it makes no difference. I don't think that there is some natural drive to take care of people. Productivity in general is over-rated since life is pointless anyways but that is an entire different subject thats better not touched right now.

Yes, unless you have made a commitment to love that person (in the way I define it) for a longer period of time.

What is stopping me from breaking this commitment? Love? ..that can not be it since I believe now that I love someone else no? I understand absolutly were you are coming from because if I look at marriage as a promise. I have high respect enough for my-self to keep a promise but like my wise father always said .."dont make promises you can not keep". I will marry a girl if I feel also infatuated(love) for her. I cant just think she is nice and caring. After that comes my job to keep the promise.

Of course you are not evil, and I truly don't mean to be condascending when I say that this is probably a function of age. I am guessing you are in your early to mid 20's. Males are biologically driven to spread their seed as widely as possible during their peak sexual years, which I believe is the biological stage you are in. Women are biologically driven to hold on to that man to ensure he will help raise and provide for potential or existing offspring. This is not evil; it's biology. Your views about longer-term commitments will likely change once you get a bit older, assuming you are not inappropriately immature, which you don't seem to be.

Interesting. Well...I am 22 but I find it a bit offending. I agree that my sex drive is a bit high and all but I believe I still have logic and reasoning. Not everyone is the same. What do you mean by "inappropriately immature"?. My views may change but my fairness may not. I may be older and later in life told to settle down by I may prefer to have sex with infatuated people and not bother with that ever. I have not had sex yet because I am holding out. Assume I reach this "age" that I am supposed to change my views...Will I not be a bit bitter about not enjoying sex earlier and avoid relationships that dont offer a good amount of it?




PS: There is a button during your message writing that auto quotes things for you. It looks like this Its located in top right of the menu bar. Anything you drag and highlite with your mouse can then be quoted separatly with that icon button.

[shh!]

[QUOTE=Only-virgins]

I do not think that nature knows about education. Either way...it makes no difference. I don't think that there is some natural drive to take care of people

.

Eh, well, perhaps education being a "necessity" simply reflects my own values. But I do think that (at least for many females) there IS a natural drive to take care of others.

Productivity in general is over-rated since life is pointless anyways but that is an entire different subject thats better not touched right now.

Yeah, wow - that really IS a whole other can of worms. Maybe it can be addressed at another time.

What is stopping me from breaking this commitment? Love? ..that can not be it since I believe now that I love someone else no? I understand absolutly were you are coming from because if I look at marriage as a promise. I have high respect enough for my-self to keep a promise but like my wise father always said .."dont make promises you can not keep". I will marry a girl if I feel also infatuated(love) for her. I cant just think she is nice and caring. After that comes my job to keep the promise.

Well, then, I don't really see where we are differing in our opinions except perhaps by what we call love. It seems that my definition of love matches your definition of marriage. Fair enough. And I agree it is nice to have this feeling when you marry. I guess the only question would be what happens when the "infatuation period" of love is over AFTER you are already married? Do you honor your promise anyway, or do you find another love?

Interesting. Well...I am 22 but I find it a bit offending. I agree that my sex drive is a bit high and all but I believe I still have logic and reasoning. Not everyone is the same. What do you mean by "inappropriately immature"?. My views may change but my fairness may not.

Oh no! Please don't be offended! That was far from my intent. Consider it a poor choice of words. What I simply meant was that not everyone continues to mature and progress at a steady pace, and ideally, adults of all ages continue to mature and progress unless there is some sort of maturity problem. I do NOT wish to include you in that population of people. As for the logic and reasoning, clearly you possess it, or I wouldn't be conversing with you at such length.

I may be older and later in life told to settle down by I may prefer to have sex with infatuated people and not bother with that ever. I have not had sex yet because I am holding out. Assume I reach this "age" that I am supposed to change my views...Will I not be a bit bitter about not enjoying sex earlier and avoid relationships that dont offer a good amount of it?

I'm not sure I get you on this. Are you saying that you may not ever bother to marry at all if you can't have infatuation along with marriage? If so, well okay. Works for me. Yeah, I think you WOULD miss the infatuation one feels in the beginning if you married without having had that.

PS: There is a button during your message writing that auto quotes things for you. It looks like this Its located in top right of the menu bar. Anything you drag and highlite with your mouse can then be quoted separatly with that icon button.

Thanks for the tip: I think I may have gotten it this time. :-)

[Only-virgins]

Yea, thats all I am saying. That I would prefer to start with this feeling. Doesn't mean other feelings and commitments can not come after. Like I said before...love is very relative. I talk to so many people on this topic and each have a different definition of love then I do and almost rarely I see two of the same. I have much to learn though as I grow. Maybe my views may change like you say but I can't assume that. I will prefer to learn on my own as long as I continue to age.

[shh!]

Yea, thats all I am saying. That I would prefer to start with this feeling. Doesn't mean other feelings and commitments can not come after. Like I said before...love is very relative. I talk to so many people on this topic and each have a different definition of love then I do and almost rarely I see two of the same. I have much to learn though as I grow. Maybe my views may change like you say but I can't assume that. I will prefer to learn on my own as long as I continue to age.

Well, I have enjoyed discussing this with you because it helps to clarify my own thoughts, and now I am considering the idea that love is an evolutionary process.

[Only-virgins]

Well, I have enjoyed discussing this with you because it helps to clarify my own thoughts, and now I am considering the idea that love is an evolutionary process.

Me too. Try to consider looking at it as if it was another process our mind does. Thats what it really is.

[shh!]

Me too. Try to consider looking at it as if it was another process our mind does. Thats what it really is.

Geniuses, aren't we?

:-D

[Only-virgins]

Geniuses, aren't we?

:-D

Ok ..lol..

[artyemi]

i love this ending. so happy.