When should i get engaged?

[Junsui]

Well here we usually finish school around 22/23 and since she's 17, she probably wouldn't be done with school in our terms. So I think he's meaning University when saying finish school first.

[Ellynn]

Their not divorced just split up...i never really got on with my dad anyway, but thats a different story.
And it wasn't just recently, it was just after the turn of the year. my grna got married at 20 and she's still happily married to my grandad 40 years later.

True that works for some....but times are different now....sad to say.... At least it seems that way..... Less and less Im seeing people together a long time.... I wonder if in 50 yrs I will see people together for 30+ yrs as well.....

[Junsui]

Their not divorced just split up...i never really got on with my dad anyway, but thats a different story.
And it wasn't just recently, it was just after the turn of the year. my grna got married at 20 and she's still happily married to my grandad 40 years later.

Yep, like most grandparents. Why? Different time period when they grew up. Coming from a divorced home increases your chances of becoming divorced yourself. It's always good to be absolutely positive before taking a major step like that.

[bluesummer]

Yeah if its meant to be ......you guys will be together for the long haul and waiting to get engaged won't make a difference...

And my parents broke up after 20 yrs of marriage and two kids....so yeah I know there are no guarantees.....trust me.

Mine too. Sigh.

But yeah, I remember when I was 18 and my bf told me he had decided I was going to be his wife some day....it was so exciting then. But we didn't get engaged, and thank god. Fast forward four years and we had matured and become totally different people with totally different goals. Neither of us wanted to get married and the relationship ended.

The moral is: You both need to grow up a little bit first, because at your age you really DON'T know what you want from life yet. Im serious. Like Ellyn said earlier, I'm almost 26 and I'm not ready to be married yet either. If you had asked me that at 18, however, I might've said I was ready.

[Tone]

Dude, I'll be honest - that is retarded logic. My parents split up so does that mean if I ever get married, that the moment things get rough I should call it off cause that's what happened with my parents???

They are not you. Just cause it worked for them doesn't mean it will work for you.

I'm telling you right now - for your and her own good - do not get married until she has had time to finish her teen years and mature and get some life experience as a young ADULT.

Otherwise I guarantee within 1-5 years from now we'll see you crying on the Dumping Forum and acting like the other whack jobs we get around here from time to time.

[gHEXjt]

and i am willing to wait, i think she's kinda got it in her head that she would like to be as a few of her friends sisters (aged 19) have recently been engaged.
And we are thinking of a long time engagement getting married in our lateish 20's.

This may be the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You want to get engaged now, and then get married 10 years from now. What the hell are you thinking?? You're too young, You're too young, You're too young. Hell I'm too young, and I'm 21. I was the same as you. With a girl in high school forever that I was in love with and we talked about getting married and all that shit, but the bottom line is that a lot changes once you go to college. A LOT!!! You will change, and just to finish off being a complete dick and to be as blunt as possible, your relationship probably won't last. And I'm not saying it because it happened to me, I'm saying it because it happens to 999/1000 couples. So now you're thinking that 1 is you and your girl, and I thought the same thing, probably wrong. I'm sorry to say that, but typically that's what happens. Give it a few years at least, if you guys stand the test of time through a couple years of college, then go for it, but you'd be a fool to do it right now.

[gHEXjt]

Dude, I'll be honest - that is retarded logic. My parents split up so does that mean if I ever get married, that the moment things get rough I should call it off cause that's what happened with my parents???

They are not you. Just cause it worked for them doesn't mean it will work for you.

I'm telling you right now - for your and her own good - do not get married until she has had time to finish her teen years and mature and get some life experience as a young ADULT.

Otherwise I guarantee within 1-5 years from now we'll see you crying on the Dumping Forum and acting like the other whack jobs we get around here from time to time.

Everything Tone said is true! Especially the last part.

[Ellynn]

Times have changed.... 40 yrs ago....a woman was expected to get married after high school. Her job was to be a wife, mother, and run a household. She didn't go to college or need to work like both spouses have to nowdays in order to be able to make it.....(unless of course the guy brings in ALOT of money).

Times have changed.....now women have equal opportunity to go to college and get good jobs and be able to work.....to make enough to support the family.....

[Junsui]

Dude, I'll be honest - that is retarded logic. My parents split up so does that mean if I ever get married, that the moment things get rough I should call it off cause that's what happened with my parents???

They are not you. Just cause it worked for them doesn't mean it will work for you.

I'm telling you right now - for your and her own good - do not get married until she has had time to finish her teen years and mature and get some life experience as a young ADULT.

Otherwise I guarantee within 1-5 years from now we'll see you crying on the Dumping Forum and acting like the other whack jobs we get around here from time to time.

lol geez Tone!

[Asip4u]

Dude, I'll be honest - that is retarded logic. My parents split up so does that mean if I ever get married, that the moment things get rough I should call it off cause that's what happened with my parents???

They are not you. Just cause it worked for them doesn't mean it will work for you.

I'm telling you right now - for your and her own good - do not get married until she has had time to finish her teen years and mature and get some life experience as a young ADULT.

Otherwise I guarantee within 1-5 years from now we'll see you crying on the Dumping Forum and acting like the other whack jobs we get around here from time to time.

He paints quite a picture, doesn't he?

[Junsui]

Yeah, but I wasn't saying that just because his parents divorced, he would too. Chances are greater, that's all.

[dukern]

Everything Tone said is true! Especially the last part.

thats the least accurate part out of the lot of these, i dont want to stay on here for more than a few weeks (hey im honest).
I think what you guys have said has been fair enough.
To the guy who was talking about equal ops. We dont intend to have kids till our 30's.
Whats wrong with being engaged 10 years or so? my uncle was for a start, her mums best friend has been engaged for 8 years and has no or little interest in getting married any time soon.

Maybe im the only one who can't see that if were engaged and break it off it'll be easier to remain as friends, but if we were going to break up i'm certain we would have done already, after she had an abortion (another story yet again).

[Junsui]

more and more comes out, why be engaged if you have no intentions on getting married anytime soon or at all? There is no point in that. It's just dating.

[gHEXjt]

thats the least accurate part out of the lot of these, i dont want to stay on here for more than a few weeks (hey im honest).
I think what you guys have said has been fair enough.
To the guy who was talking about equal ops. We dont intend to have kids till our 30's.
Whats wrong with being engaged 10 years or so? my uncle was for a start, her mums best friend has been engaged for 8 years and has no or little interest in getting married any time soon.

Maybe im the only one who can't see that if were engaged and break it off it'll be easier to remain as friends, but if we were going to break up i'm certain we would have done already, after she had an abortion (another story yet again).

LISTEN TO EVERYTHING I SAY...DO NOT GET ENGAGED. IT IS A BAD MOVE. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG! YOUR RELATIONSHIP WILL PROBABLY NOT LAST, IF IT DOES, FANTASTIC, YOU CAN DREAM. BUT WHAT THE **** IS THE POINT OF BEING ENGAGED FOR 10 YEARS???????????? And the abortion thing, nice try, but no. Went through, and didn't break up then, just did 3 years later. We're not trying to bust your bubble and be dickheads here man, we're telling you the honest to god truth. All of us have experienced this shit already. And it 3 or 4 years you'll be sitting somewhere one day, and you'll think to yourself, "I was a ****in moron!"

[dukern]

more and more comes out, why be engaged if you have no intentions on getting married anytime soon or at all? There is no point in that. It's just dating.

We do, just no time soon. why has everything always got to be done the way it has been done in the past?
If you want to think of it this way, whats the point in having sex in a relationship, it's just sex?
Whats the point in drinking caffine drinks, whens it's a drug?
It's upto people how they want to do things, and maybe they feel like doing things differently to others.
Also it gives us more time to think of how we would like our wedding.