Art of the compliment

[TheSphinx]

The PD is only useful with 9's, 10's, (and women who think they are g-d's gift to men); these women are in ego-trip trances and you are simply helping them snap out of it and back to reality..

I used to think the same. After dating this group of women, however, I've found that they seem to have even more fragile self esteem and warped self perceptions than the "8's and under."

For me, communicating to physically stunning women that you can recognize values beyond their appearance has had a much more profound effect over "put downs."

~Sphinx

[DoesntMatter]

For me, communicating to physically stunning women that you can recognize values beyond their appearance has had a much more profound effect over "put downs."

~Sphinx

Well the first problem is even getting that close. Charlieboy hit the nail on the head when he said approaching women is like trying to pet a baby deer. They're so skittish! It's unbelievable. And unbelievably annoying

[vashti]

Why don't you start by trying to communicate with women you aren't intimidated by, and work your way up to the scary ones?

[DoesntMatter]

It's just hard in general to relate to women. They never talk about anything I can hold a conversation on

[GrkScorp]

I believe DM is capable of attracting a mentally and emotionally stable girl.

Me too; in fact, irrational/emotionally unstable women will be totally unaffected..

DM is a great guy, and I really want to see him offer all those great qualities he has to some lucky girl(s)

I know the difference between loser, low-quality, jerk guys who thankfully haven't had much success with women yet.. and great quality guys who's misfortune with women is only the fault of cultural programming (romance-focused books, movies, & television; even holidays!).. DM is the latter

All he needs to do is avoid women's BS (b*tch shield).. and it's rightfully in place.. if women didn't put up an act, they would waste their time with every loser guy which came their way.. (you've been programmed to be polite & nice as an American male; which is why European men in the US feel like the only kid in the candy store with money to get anything.. so as an American guy, you feel it's rude to persist through their act & frame control; you may even feel by being nice and polite and allowing HER to frame control, that she'll be flattered).. If you're a quality guy (and DM, you are!) and she's not interested, it's either because you haven't effectively conveyed it, (or if you have) it's an act, and you have to persist through it..

1. Be a quality guy (you already are internally, now all you need is to improve your social circle, explore your passions & interest, be a very interesting & fun guy who everyone wants to be with and get to know)
2. Demonstrate your quality (without bragging; without being direct; and don't be needy, pushy, desperate, begging, or creepy.. a HUGE part about demonstrating quality is conveying that "she" means nothing to you, becaues in reality, if you're life is so great, you really don't need her in your life, it's at this point where the chase begins & attraction starts)

...

101. Be romantic (the point is, save all the romantic ideas you have been programmed with by the help of American pop culture, for late into the relationship "late dating, or official relationship")

DM, if you lived in NY, we'd be out every night.. in fact, next summer (2009), i'm going to Ireland for at least one month; consider it.. (your trip to NY will actually run you a lot more)..

Best of luck DM..

[TheSphinx]

You should try finding a fellow who is good with this sort of thing in your area, DM.

My eyes were opened to how simple this can be by learning from such men.

~Sphinx

[vashti]

It's just hard in general to relate to women. They never talk about anything I can hold a conversation on

What can you hold a conversation on?

[GrkScorp]

technical glitch (deleted identical post)

[GrkScorp]

It's just hard in general to relate to women. They never talk about anything I can hold a conversation on

Wow.. I wish I could quote word for word..

"We used to say that the boys would play soccer, and the girls were doing nothing. But the girls weren't doing nothing, they were talking about the world around them, and the boys were not"

I agree with Sphinx; 9's & 10's are very fragile, and the huge void they have is feeling like they somehow stand out amung other 9's & 10's.. the simple solution to that is suggestion..

Example: She likes fashion, don't talk about fashion, but rather allow her to explain it further and be blown away at how you've never heard anyone make such a boring topic sound so interesting, that you can almost feel her passion for the subject, and you're simply taken back at her creativity when she shows you her designs or marketing plans.. (it's not BS, because you won't do it, unless you mean it)

You don't need to be a fashion, dance, drama, marketing, psychology, etc major to be able to hold a conversation with her or be interesting.. "It's the mark of an educated mind to entertain an idea, without fully accepting it".. she'll rationalize this as "he's a really interesting guy", and if you make her feel good about herself (indirectly), she'll rationalize this as "he really understands me and I felt that connection, I had a really great time".. (slightly off topic, notice how you'll be open-minded enough to not get bored with her chick-stuff and be able to hold a conversation, while women will usually get bored if I go off on a rant about accounting or law; even though i've gone through a very technical conversation about psychology & marketing many times)

I think you get the gist, and nearly all 9's & 10's have told me the same thing.. "I told my friends after that day, he's a great guy (female lingo for "hot"), interesting, we had a lot of fun, and that it was almost unreal to meet someone who really understood me (female lingo for "he made me feel great about myself, and allowed me to understand myself and feel like i'm more than just a 9/10"), and that's really when I knew"

9's & 10's shouldn't look intimidating at all.. if they do, it's only because you're falling for their act, but it's only an act.. The annoying ones are the miserable (8's and less)

What are you intimidated by? (think about it; you won't be able to give yourself a meaningful answer to this; you simply don't know what you're intimidated by)

[Gigabitch]

DM, if you lived in NY, we'd be out every night.. in fact, next summer (2009), i'm going to Ireland for at least one month; consider it.. (your trip to NY will actually run you a lot more)..

DM is from Rochester, Grk. You may have a paduan faster than you think.

[DoesntMatter]

Haha thanks guys

But yeah GrkScorp I'm from Rochester. I imagine you are talking about NYC when you say NY, in which case I'm about 6 hours away lol

[GrkScorp]

Haha thanks guys

But yeah GrkScorp I'm from Rochester. I imagine you are talking about NYC when you say NY, in which case I'm about 6 hours away lol

Wow; what do you know, you learn something new every day..

Well, i'm no David D'Angelo, Ross Jeffries, or Mystery.. but you can tag along as Style.. (i'm no teacher, and you're no student, that implies that you're somehow lesser than me or i'm somehow greater than you.. we're just going to be friends having a good time) but if that's the case, we'll go to an easy target area (Westchester) and meet up one day where all people do are get drunk and have house parties (girls buy beer, enough said, easy)

One of my lesbian friends used to live there, went to the Eastman School of Music, really great people, but dangerous area; and not much to do in terms of nightlife..

We'll definitely meet up if that's the case; hit Westchester first (easy), Brooklyn & Queens later (more interesting), Manhattan last (very fun)..

Like Frank Sinatra says "if I can make it there, i'll make it anywhere".. and in Manhattan (Ludlow, St. Mark's, Upper East/West Side, Soho) you'll be meeting 60+ new faces a night.. on a good night, (over 90), with numbers like that, each approach matters less and less (9's & 10's become insignificant) and you're speed-learning.. By the end of just 1 week (7 days), you'll have social interaction internalized, you would have learned the basics of a new language..

I just noticed this today as I sat down in Wills, Trusts & Estates.. This girl is sitting in front of me, she turns her head, our eyes meet, mine stay steady, she looks away first by snapping her eyes on the floor, then looks at her bag, then she turns her head to pretend to look around the room and then assumes her normal position as if she's waiting for the class to start.. She starts to preform a self-grooming gesture by stroking her hair to fix it & fixing her shirt.. she tries to resist but soon gives in to her urge and pulls out her pocket mirror to see if she looks her best.. she puts it away and reaches for her bag (to see if i'm paying attention to her; i'm not, my act is solid), she then begins to stroke her hair again, only this time it's not self-grooming, she's just trying to get my attention and see if i'll notice her, I don't respond, I'm not interested, she gives up (lack of persistance)..

A guy walks in, his eyes practically rape her.. He tries to walk calmly to the empty seat next to her, but his steps are quick (he doens't want anyone else to take it), his movements are choppy & his muscles are tense (he's nervous).. he takes his time to sit down as if he's exhausted (what mamouth physical labor has this law student just come back from to act so tired?), his actions are clearly coordinated, he's trying to impress her by acting tired as he sits down (to suggest that he's a busy guy and lives an interesting life, or that this bores him and he has somewhere better to be), she clearly sees through his act, picks up on his intentions, and is not interested.. she turns her body away and puts her bag away from him, she smiles at him to be polite but them looks frantically though her notes to find something she can pretend to be doing to look busy and ignore him.. she finds it, now she's pretending to look busy..

His head is facing the front of the class, but his eyes are locked on to her like an anti-aircraft turrent.. He asks her what cases we had to study (yawn, nice ice-breaker Casanova), she smiles and starts to explain them in great detail; paying special attention to the tax implications (even though that's not the focus of some cases, but though she knows that my specialty is taxation).. She's trying to impress me, but by leading he poor guy on.. I tap the guy on the back and ask him to watch my stuff for a moment as I go to the bathroom.. he complies.. I leave for 1 minute and walk back in.. they're no longer talking.. less than a minute later, class starts..

The girl, feels a sense of failure
The guy, feels a sense of hope
I, feel slightly amused, but more importantly, blown away at how actions give people's intentions away..

I used to have a very male-thought-pattern (namely, logic-only).. When males communicate, they speak with & listen to words (content) almost exclusively.. When women communicate, they speak with almost every tool they have at their disposal, and listen out for almost everything aswell; this female-thought-pattern (namely, emotional) allows women to pick up on all these social-emotional nuances during a conversation, but they also send out 20 times more signals than males! (Too bad nearly all males are only looking at WHAT they are saying (less than 22% of female communication), not HOW they are saying it (more than 85%) which is usually a better indicator since it is subconcsious and a more honest expression of what they're really thinking/expressing)

After just 1 week in Manhattan, 60+ new faces a night, that's 420+ interactions that week!, you'll speak this unspoken language, you'll be able to read intentions & motives.. (You have the advantage, women send out 20 more signals, and 5 times more sexual signals, after you naturalize it, you'll wonder how you ever missed such obvious signals in the past; you'll also notice that experienced guys are harder to read; don't worry though, i'll be your wing, and i'll out-alpha any one of these guys that tries to come into our group; nearly all guys though are generally inexperienced and simple to read)

If you want a heads-up before we meet up, get a book or two on lie-detection, micro-signals, and the 16 personality types..

[Kromat]

PD10:

- You're not that ugly, don'y worry, i've seen uglier girls.. this one time (stack onto ugly girl story) [don't worry, this is why it's a PD10, her ego can take the hit, and you're not even done! you're just getting started, 1-2 more are going to follow after this one]

Key: None of this works if she has no motivation to let it work.. If you don't demostrate enough value; she won't be motivated to try and keep you around as you run away.. So your focus on opening should be (willingness to walk away, have to leave soon, non-needy-ness, After you get the group to like It'll take at least 10-15 things to win you over, and it could last as long as an hour before you let her feel that your connection/attraction is mutual)

I summarized to some points that stood out, GrkScorp you should
put attachments in word format, so we can view it bigger, why be so
specific, just summarize. Why is it 10-15 things to win her over? You
can't be that picky, only a few interests will be enough and the rest will
show themselves, you can't expect for someone to know you that well after one night.
Saying someone that they're ugly is pretty bad, I might as well say
that I'm not interested or we just don't connect, than having her
personality shot down. What If you find a group of girls and just
talking to each one for a couple of mins and confuse the rest, they'll
be thinking what is he trying to do? and then you mention saying
something like, " I'm sorry that I couldn't talk longer, but I need to go....
trying to make sure my friends don't do anything stupid. " Not sure,
If the friend part will get you over, but talking to them shortly will get
them interested, as to why do you have to leave so fast. Improv in
conversations are so great, why think of what your gonna say, just
talk about what questions are bothering you and she'll probably answer.
When you practice or think of things to say too long, that's when things
go entirely bad.

[GrkScorp]

NO!

Wow, if that's what you got out of that.. STOP! don't do it.. lol

The point is NOT to insult.. it's NOT to get up and leave.. and it's NOT to memorize anything and shoot scripts at women the whole night..

If the conversation is going great, and they're having a great time, and they're interested, (great! that's what usually happens, and you have them hooked, and as you pointed out, it doesn't make sense to put them down or seem as if you have to leave once you've reached this point)

To get to this point, you have to come in like an F-117 Nighthawk, totally off the radar.. you have to take out the AA-rockets & turrets, you have to take out the bunkers, and all other defenses without her ever knowing there are planes with bombs in the air (stealth, subtlety).. once her defenses are out, you're not looking to take over her country, you're simply going to send in the diplomats and talk things over..

Going over to a group is alot like flying into foreign airspace.. "Who the hell are you? Please turn your plane back and leave or we'll be forced to shoot you down".. Even if all you want is to bring over some diplomats..

So to leave the analogy aside, the main issue is the female-ego & culturally programmed defenses.. Let's face it, she's dressed up and out there to meet people ("i really want to go dance/go out tonight" is only her body telling her that she needs to look for guys).. But she doesn't want to admit that to herself or her friends, and she doesn't want to feel like that's the case either, so she not only wants to sit there and have guys walk up to her, but she wants to meet a guy who won't make her feel like he's there to meet her.. (she wants it to happen "naturally")..

To do this, you open with a story, comment, action, question that has some plausable deniability.. When you walk over, her ego is so high up in the air that she'll think "Oh g-d, he's trying to hit on me/us".. If you fail to open with plausable deniability, she won't be able to rationalize your approach any other way, and if she fails to, she'll ask "Why?".. and the only answer to that question for some woman this guy just saw and hasn't spoken to but felt so compelled to come speak to is "looks", which translates to sexual motive on your part, which makes her uncomfortable (even though she may want you more than you want her; society has made her feel awkward, so she'll have to clamp up and be defensive, which can go as far as ignoring you or running away)

To avoid this fate, open with plausable deniability.. AND, convey a time constraint, AND disqualify yourself, AND PD! All of these will make your fleet of F-16s look like cargo planes.. She'll rationalize (Hmm, ok, clearly not hitting on me.. "defenses down, she'll open up, her b*tch act is over".. but why? why doesn't he like me? everyone likes me! i'll show him, I can get him).. Careful! This is why it's important to know how to read people.. if she's still in this state of mind, her defenses only APPEAR to be down, but you can still trigger them at any second.. So you have to continue to snap her out of her (he wants me just like everyone else does)-trance.. PD, disqualify yourself again, and rock your body, look at your friends, or check the time.. Until you feel her rationalization kick in once more (Oh.. OK, I guess he's not here to hit on me.. "this isn't rationalized with relief, it's thought with disappointment, ego is shot down, and the thirst for attention and validation has started")

The rest is just you being yourself (so-to-speak), and allowing her to win you over slowly.. to prove herself worthy of being part of your life and all the fun & stimulation you have to offer (add wealth/security/status/etc for older guys).. So there's no manipulation involved.. you're simply comming in, snapping her out of her ego-trance, bringing her back into reality, and THEN talking normally.. this makes it natural..

- She doesn't want to go back home and say to herself (much less to others), I met this guy at a bar, he came over and asked for my name, he said I was cute, I told him he was too, I gave him my number, and he just called, we're going out tonight.. (that makes her feel cheap & easy, her ego won't allow it)

- She wants to go back home and say to herself, I met this guy as I was having drinks, (plausable deniability; he was leaving with his friends but asked us why women have so many shoes, honestly, so we all told him, he liked my friend's shoes, and he asked me if I had other shoes besides those.. He didn't like my shoes, my friends laughed, but then he told us this story, it was funny.. blah blah).. we ended up talking for over an hour, he turned out to be this really fun, interesting, funny guy, he's pretty cute, but he had to go with his friends, but we had to meet up again, so I gave him my number and he gave me his.. and I thought he wouldn't call back, but he did, and we're going out tonight.. (Women are wonderful creatures, they can create a million reasons why they shouldn't talk to you, give you a number, go out again, have sex with you, but they can also create a million and one reasons as to why they just did! The difference is up to YOU, you have to make it feel "natural", like "it just happened", "it just felt right")

The key to that is, no matter how great your all-star diplomat team is, if you come into her airspace with what looks like fighter-planes, she'll knock you out of the sky before your diplomats can hit the eject button.. Before you can appeal to her, you have to make her feel safe & comfortable, snap her out of her ego-tance, bring her back to reality, and then you can take it from there..

Just to clarify.. the goal is NOT to insult anyone, make anyone feel bad, or leave after you've hooked the group.. that's just pointless and counterproductive..

[DoesntMatter]

GrkScorp if I'm ever in the NYC area I'd be completely up for that. Idk when that will ever be because I'm in school until May and I'm taking summer courses, but if I find myself in that area sometime I'll definitely let you know ahead of time