Description of the Shining Knight Syndrome

[Junket]

Refer to this should anyone come along that needs a good slap in the face with reality.

Unless you just came out of a coma, you know that the late Anna Nicole Smith's ex-boyfriend is Larry Birkhead. He has been in the news since he announced he was the father of Dannielynn. One interviewer asked him why he continued to stay in the relationship despite Anna Nicole's drug use. He said he thought he could "save her". He had "knight in shining armor syndrome".

In her book, "Why We Love" author Helen Fisher states that: millions of years of protecting and providing for women has bred into the male brain this tendency to choose women they feel they need to save. What separates man from animal is his ability to think and reason. Just because it may be natural for men to be chivalrous, it doesn't mean they can't place a limit on just how far they will go.

Should they open a door, pull out a chair, take a woman's hand when crossing the street or give her their jacket if she's cold? Absolutely. Should they try to save a woman whose life is a mess? They do so at their own peril.

Men try to save damsels in distress because it makes them feel powerful, in control and manly. Sometimes they are afraid of women and think they won't be rejected if they fix a woman's problems. They hide their inadequacies behind what looks like strength. They know they don't have their act together, so instead of working on themselves they'd rather work on someone else. Such relationships are doomed to fail.

If these men really were strong, they would not be trying to save someone that appears to be a victim. They don't realize that aside from a few circumstances beyond one's control (acts of God, accidents, disease, etc.) one's position in life is based on who they are on the inside, not someone or something "out there". There is an axiom that says: There are no victims, only volunteers.

Knights believe that if the woman gets better, she'll become the perfect girlfriend. The only problem is that if she does become healthy, she will not want to be with someone who is so flawed that he tolerated being with a "broken-winged bird". Healthy people do not want to be with unhealthy people.

On the other hand, if she doesn't get better, the man will never have the perfect girlfriend because he won't get his needs met. In addition, his fears of an intimate relationship will not be repaired by staying with an inadequate woman. It's a no-win situation.

Why else do men choose damsels in distress? According to Dr. Laura in her book, "Ten Things Men Do To Mess Up Their Lives" other reasons for "stupid chivalry" are: guilt for past transgressions and lifestyles, feelings of real or imagined inadequacies, fear of the pain of abandonment, loneliness, ego aggrandizement, fears about women's (aka Mom's) approval and acceptance and a fragmented sense of masculinity. If you're currently trying to be a knight in shining armor, what's your reason?

Just because a man doesn't acknowledge that a woman is responsible for her circumstances, it doesn't mean those same circumstances won't come back to bite him in the butt at some future date. Larry Birkhead's life is now chaotic as the result of trying to save a woman whose life was chaotic. Would you want to be in his shoes?

Attachment 1501

[Illusional]

i'll take shots of anything..

raverboy

[bluesummer]

For woman it would be a man whose dick was made of chocolate that ejaculated money.

I wouldn't want a dick made of chocolate. It would melt the first time I gave him a bj (but gawd what a yummy bj that would be) or had sex.

I think it would be a man with a sufficiently sized dick that ejaculated chocolate. And money. But not at the same time.

[Aeradalia]

I wouldn't want a dick made of chocolate. It would melt the first time I gave him a bj (but gawd what a yummy bj that would be) or had sex.

I think it would be a man with a sufficiently sized dick that ejaculated chocolate. And money. But not at the same time.

Pissed money and ejaculated chocolate? You'd have money often and chocolate when you want!

[bluesummer]

Pissed money and ejaculated chocolate? You'd have money often and chocolate when you want!

EXACTLY.

[doppelgaenger]

You ladies are giving me the painful feeling of quarters and crisp benjamins passing through my urethra

[Only-virgins]

Handcuffed to the bed with mouth taped shut

Uhh no..I think THEY like that. eh, I like her to do some of the work. Scratch that...make it most. ..Scratch that, make it all. She can squeeze strawberry juice out of her pussy while she sits on my face. Also a chick that understands that even though I have money, she isn't getting a dime of it. Relationships are about exchanging bodily fluids and not cash.

[CAM]

A man's perfect woman...on the 40 y/o side of this question...I'd have to say: smart, a good conversationalist, witty, a nice companion, attractive, a partner who's willing to live elsewhere and not mess up my house or life, and we go out maybe once a month or so...she has her own life. No offense, I'm just a bachelor and once a month is more than enough of visiting. If she were in her late 30s or 40s, then it wouldn't be such a bad thing if she'd had a hysterectomy and was incapable of conceiving a child. In ten more years, I'll be ready for the early 30's woman who wants a child, raises it, and leaves me to putter around the house or home office.

[CAM]

The last line was a joke...I can't imagine reproduction...period. I'm curious how I'll fill the next 50-60 years (my relatives regularly live in to their 90s and beyond); but a child in today's world....

[CAM]

Shining armor music...aka music from the vomitorium...

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tj_NjLBPotQ"]YouTube - Kenny Rogers - Lady[/ame]

[vashti]

I like that song. ^

[CAM]

Okay, I admit that I like it, too.

[lahnnabell]

My current ex and I were in that same situation.

Given my family's past, I have extreme anxiety issues about money and family. My father and I are estranged. I've told him what he and I need to do to work toward a healthy relationship, but any time he sees that there is work involved he bails and avoids contacting me. This hurts like a bitch.

My boyfriends have done the same. Occasionally my recent ex would "freak out" over our relationship, wondering if he made the right choice, and "What if it's all wrong?!" type of attitude. In response, I calmly listened and reassured him that this was normal. It's normal to question things and go through moments of insecurity. This only freaked him out more! He wondered how I could be so calm and self-assured. I would ask him, "What good would it do to have both of freaking out over this?" This has more to do with his lack of experience in relationships and my overabundance. I've been through it so many times that I've learned what I need to do to remain sane in relationships. He wasn't ready to be on board with that. So, I moved on. I realized that I couldn't change him; he has to want to change.

[jockzon]

You can't change a person that easily. And, at the end of it, all you have done is wasted your own life.

[cello]

Omg, thats just so me and my ex. We are friends now, but I still see him like a knight. Its because even now when I am in distress i call him to cry and scream. He does everything to cheer me up. On the contrary, after him I met another young man. He was always in trouble. He asked me for help all the time and I was always there for him. In the end, he cheated on me. Relationships are so complicated.

[Junket]

Omg, thats just so me and my ex. We are friends now, but I still see him like a knight. Its because even now when I am in distress i call him to cry and scream. He does everything to cheer me up. On the contrary, after him I met another young man. He was always in trouble. He asked me for help all the time and I was always there for him. In the end, he cheated on me. Relationships are so complicated.

That's just it.

They're not complicated at all.

People that f*ck them up are generally just insecure about something.