Would You Want To Know

[onesexyblonde]

you say what happened.. none of us here know.

yes but if there are parts i dont want to talk about or go into detail to like i can admit i was raped but not to detailed about it what do i say

[HeartIsAching]

I was in an abusive relatioship and i am starting to get over i and i can finally talk about it. I wanna know if you were my bf would you want to know?

Absolutely. If for nothing else, to know what sort of baggage I'd be dealing (and helping you deal) with.

[onesexyblonde]

Absolutely. If for nothing else, to know what sort of baggage I'd be dealing (and helping you deal) with.

but even if i dont show my emotions or try not to at least would you i mean if it didnt affect you like i can hide it pretty well

[HeartIsAching]

He has asked questions about why im in therapy. What do i say? I should mention i am kinda traumitized by it and am really flichy, and scared i start crying if he yells. Why would it make him angry at me?

Wait... you've just gotten out of an abusive relationship, and you've jumped into another one?!

Yelling IS abuse. It's intimidation, a form of mental abuse... some argue that mental and emotional abuse is more damaging long term than physical abuse is.

[HeartIsAching]

but even if i dont show my emotions or try not to at least would you i mean if it didnt affect you like i can hide it pretty well

It's not necessarily emotional response I mean.

My wife's ex was abusive (so was I once, I'm better now) and every now and then she has a bizarre reaction to perfectly ordinary things because of it. Like crying when I get up to make her breakfast and pack a lunch before she goes to school.

[onesexyblonde]

Wait... you've just gotten out of an abusive relationship, and you've jumped into another one?!

Yelling IS abuse. It's intimidation, a form of mental abuse... some argue that mental and emotional abuse is more damaging long term than physical abuse is.

he is not abusive we got into an arguement because he thinks i am hiding things from him which i kinda am and he yelled not even he raised his voice at me adn i am getting better i do have freak outs every once in a while but i can compse myself quickly

[HeartIsAching]

Keep tellin' yourself that.

[onesexyblonde]

Keep tellin' yourself that.

he would NEVER hurt me he lovesme more than anything i m his world what makesyou think that in the first place? plus i sufferd mental physical and emotional abuse and i understand them all and he would never hurt me in anyway i will never get over it completly but i can hide it pretty damn well

[HeartIsAching]

Then why do you cower and shake when he yells? Because it's such a pleasant, non-intimidating experience?

[onesexyblonde]

Then why do you cower and shake when he yells? Because it's such a pleasant, intimidating experience?

because im used to being hit whenever i m yelled at but he wouldnt do that i just get nervous still buase my last guy beat the shit out of me everytime i got into a fight

[Only-virgins]

I was in an abusive relatioship and i am starting to get over i and i can finally talk about it. I wanna know if you were my bf would you want to know?

Yes, specially if you are with holding sex from me for 3 years because of it.

[onesexyblonde]

Yes, specially if you are with holding sex from me for 3 years because of it.

im not technically withilding sex i give him oral

[Only-virgins]

im not technically withilding sex i give him oral

... um....okay..

[onesexyblonde]

... um....okay..

um....okay... what do you mean just speak your mind

[HeartIsAching]

because im used to being hit whenever i m yelled at but he wouldnt do that i just get nervous still buase my last guy beat the shit out of me everytime i got into a fight

That's a trauma response, dear. You're still responding to trauma, just a more insidious and less obvious trauma.