Worst sex you've ever had..

[Sanctuary]

There is a move I will refer to as "the washing machine". How it got invented and why guys do it, escapes me. It's when in missionary, the guy decides he's going to rotate his hips around and swivel around.

LOL What the hell??? This thread is awesome.

[lilly1185]

Be thankful you've never experienced it. INSTANT mood killer.

This is an awesome thread though.

[Cbrider]

My worst wasn't really that bad, because its kind of an OV story.

I was going DT with my neighbors and some mutual friends. I hadn't lived in my current place long, so I really didn't know them all to well. I noticed a cute girl when I walked into their place while we waited for a cab, find out its the neighbors step sister.

We go DT, drink and drink and drink, dance, laugh, etc, etc. Somehow I get separated from the group, and I have the step sister with me. Well I am not about to ditch a girl alone DT, especially if they are cute. I grab a cab and head back to the neighbors place. We make a pit stop at Del Taco, because I am drunk, starving and at the top of my reasoning game.

We get back, and I head next door to my place. The sister calls my phone (I never gave her my number) and asks if she can come over for a bit because people are arguing over there. I obviously say yes and jump into the shower to get the bar smell off me so i don't track it to my sheets. I come out and she's laying on my bed looking like she is asleep. I jump into bed and turn off the light. She was not asleep, just waiting to jump when when the lights went out.

I remember looking at the clock at 2:45 AM.....I black out.......3:45AM and this chick is STILL GOING. That was the last thing I remember.

I wake up the next morning, not remembering anything from the night before. I don't know who this is in my bed and I have to be to work in an hour. I get up and try to sneak to the shower....no luck....my roommate is sitting in his chair, in his boxers, eating cheerios. He laughs for a good 20 seconds then asks me what I am doing. He fills me in on what happened once I got back to the house because my thundering feet down the hallway woke him and his gf up.

I get ready for work and this girl finally wakes up. She gets dressed and grabs her things. Gives me her number and a kiss, tells me to call her and prances out the door to her sisters. I never called, it was just too weird all the way around.

I thought I had totally sank the ship with the neighbor over this, that she was going to hate my guts. Come to find out, this girl that I bunked with is a bit of a female player (slut is too harsh for me to accept >.<). Turns out, she really liked me and wanted me to call her back, apparently not normal for her. The neighbor and her friends thought this was absolutely hilarious, because I had beaten her step sister at her own game and had no idea.

Strangest night/sex of my life.

[Only-virgins]

My worst wasn't really that bad, because its kind of an OV story.

Hey....how is this an OV story? .... I never got laid with the neighbors girls

[Cbrider]

Hey....how is this an OV story? .... I never got laid with the neighbors girls

Lmao, the passing/blacking out part.

[Shady]

Considering the fact that my sexual life is uninteresting...I can only offer a tale from about a week ago.

So we're at a friend's house, celebrating the start of his new business...so after a few hours of dancing, partying, everything starts to cool down and most of the people are either drunk and asleep or doing their thing in the few remaining spots away from curious eyes.

Being the only one sober, I go to check out the house and I enter one of the bedrooms and see a guy trying to hump his girlfriend. After a few attempts of...can't really describe it...I looked as if he was trying to stab her...the girl is all laughing like wild, cuz its obviously tickling her, all the "stabs" in the stomach, legs and around her vagina.

Then the guy makes something like a last ditch effort and actually throws himself thrusting at the girl attempting to put his dick inside by using brute force, he misses again.......he falls off the bed......and as he hits the floor...he gets a taste of his own product right in the upper torso and probably right in the face.


Took me half an hour to stop laughing...needless to say the guy ran away as soon as he found his clothes leaving his girl in the same hysterical laugh I was experiencing.

[BoredGeorge]

I haven't had too many atrociously bad sexual experiences. Earlier this year I hooked up with a co-worker after my ex and I split. I was looking for some heavy rebound action and this particular guy was always good for some. I also figured that because he had chicks fawning over him a lot that he had some skills. Wrong.

We slept together a few times and it really just involved him going at me for 5-10 minutes until he came. He once commented in the middle of sex, "I want to get you off!" I feigned most of my enjoyment and let him finish up, but I never faked an orgasm. I'm pretty sure he had no idea what to do with my clitoris and I was not in the mindset to educate him.

Guys, if you're 24 and sexually active, take steps to make sure you know what the hell you're doing. I was very unimpressed and got bored very quickly.

Good man. The way it should be. Too many feminists, now all of a sudden it is our responsibility to make sure women enjoy sex. Notice it is mostly women complaining on this thread ?

[all alone]

Good man. The way it should be. Too many feminists, now all of a sudden it is our responsibility to make sure women enjoy sex. Notice it is mostly women complaining on this thread ?

There are a fair amount of horrible chicks out there. Trust me, u dont ever want to end up with a 'starfish', who just spreads her limbs out then lies still haha.

But wait, i forgot, its BG.

[lilly1185]

I'm good.
I know I'm good.

I also know when a man is bad. And you've given me the right to spill my horrible stories. If I take advantage, you CAN'T accost me for it

[lahnnabell]

BoredGeorge, are you telling me that all/any women you've been with are perfectly comfortable going spread eagle, letting you do your thing, and they find complete contentment in that? I find that hard to believe.

Or do you just enjoy deluding yourself into believe that all the moaning she is doing is because your doing a good job and not out of sheer boredom?

[Cbrider]

BoredGeorge, are you telling me that all/any women you've been with are perfectly comfortable going spread eagle, letting you do your thing, and they find complete contentment in that? I find that hard to believe.

Hookers aren't into kissing and touching.

[qwertz]

I feel a bit bad for BJ, but then people go write things like that^^ and i cant help but laugh

[Moe]

This is going to be hard to believe but my worse sex lasted about 11 years, it was an Ex. wife.
I tried everything she was just a dead fish no matter what I tried. I think I got maybe 6 BJ's in that time(it was like she was afraid to touch it). Most times I would turn on the TV just not to be bored. She always had a problem, this hurt that hurt I can't do that.
Finally I had to fly the coop. You have no idea what it's like waiting to be 30 before having meaningful sex. WOW

[Mish]

Mine worst one involved the hole on an Asian girl being too small (true story)

[lahnnabell]

Mine worst one involved the hole on an Asian girl being too small (true story)

My boyfriend had this problem with his most recent ex. She was apparently so small that it hurt him to attempt to have sex. On top of that she had one position that would get her off in about two minutes, after which she would hop off and leave him blue-balled. So, so cruel.

And here I was on here a week ago, wondering why he might be turned off from sex. Yikes!