Well played, lol
“The willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” ~Joan Didion
More does factor in, but if she's not all that impressed to begin with, then asking her to coffee doesn't help you out much..particularly if she already finds you boring. It's a boring date, if you can even consider it a date. It's what a cliche, pussy does to test the water when they're scared. Do you do anything for fun?
One other tidbit to factor into the "I should stay involved in this" column: I wonder if her boyfriend is an abusive boyfriend. Right after we planned to get together, she went silent for a few days, and then came back and said she's "Been having a lot of family problems this weekend" but send her the report and she'll "knock it down" and have it finished ... and then asked if we could meet on an alternate day because she hadn't gotten the presentation finished.
Anyway, yes BUOGS, I do do things for fun. Whether you'd consider them fun, I can't say, but I don't think they'd be that boring for her. And if she's just "on the fence" about me, then I'd rather it not go anywhere. There has to be more to her interest than my initial date suggestion ... I would hope she'd be far more interested than something like that could meaningfully affect ... that said though, if I ask her out again for after finals, I'll probably pick something more datelike.
Humor me. What is your idea of "something more datelike"?
Whether its fun or not in my opinion doesn't really matter. Just try to make it an activity so the onus isn't really on you to keep the conversation going. Do something where there is something else for you two to concentrate on besides each other. I've taken girls rock climbing, painting, bowling, pool and drinks, and those are always much better than meeting for drinks or dinner.
Last edited by BackUpOrGetStng; 29-11-13 at 04:01 PM.
Well I hadn't thought it through completely yet (we've spent a bunch of time together, we're pretty comfortable in each other's company). I know movies are not as much in favor these days but I still think if she likes me she isn't going to be ultra-picky about the choice venue or activity.
So I think I just gained some insight into this whole thing. I found the name of a band she likes and went to see recently, and here are lyrics to one of their main songs that really applies to our situation (if you watch the video too) IMO:
http://www.metrolyrics.com/what-you-know-lyrics-two-door-cinema-club.html
Basically, she recognizes that "I don't want to be alone," wrongly infers "She's not the best I could have attained" (she's really humble and from a poor background and doesn't yet fully recognize her potential), but she's so busy (full time student and work + boyfriend) that she's not sure she should put the time or emotional investment into starting something with me.
That would make a lot of sense .. but at this point it's just an academic exercise (which I do enjoy) until I see whether she'll go out with me over break.
If it were me there is no bloody way I would invest so much into a situation like this.
Well, I rarely develop romantic feelings for a girl. But I have them for this girl. And it happened without my intending it to. That should mean something, shouldn't it?