does just friends mean just friends forever

[Gobears1]

Good idea badrazor. I might have to try that. Im glad to see that that worked out for you. How long was it before your girlfriend contacted you back?

[badrazor]

Good idea badrazor. I might have to try that. Im glad to see that that worked out for you. How long was it before your girlfriend contacted you back?

well, she forced me to break up with her so i did. She was treating me badly. We then didn't have any communication for almost exactly a month. I had hoped she would have come to her senses and contact me but she didn't. I emailed her and said i wanted to meet one last time and end it on a better note. She initially agreed but then started fighting me again. She became hostile again, accusing me of leaving her and saying absolutely untrue things like i yell at her all the time (i think i yelled at her ONE time in almost 4 years lol). Once i gave her a 5 page laundry list of what she did to me in the last 6 months, she agreed to meet. But then we started arguing over the time to meet just like when we were trying to meet to talk about fixing our problems (when we were still together). So, i said screw it, and i went to her job where i knew she would be alone. When she saw me she came right over and hugged and tryed to kiss me. We had a great talk and left each other on a much more friendly term. I learned she was hurting as much as me and we both said we still loved each other but we left it at that because we both know it isn't working. We kissed one last time with much love and i left. This was last week. We've emailed back and forth a few times since. We are both moving on but i'm still so broken hearted. I loved and still love her very much.

[lamobatsman]

i did this and nearly got done for stalking and harrassment. never again will i fight for a girl. id rather die

[overanxious]

well, she forced me to break up with her so i did. She was treating me badly. We then didn't have any communication for almost exactly a month. I had hoped she would have come to her senses and contact me but she didn't. I emailed her and said i wanted to meet one last time and end it on a better note. She initially agreed but then started fighting me again. She became hostile again, accusing me of leaving her and saying absolutely untrue things like i yell at her all the time (i think i yelled at her ONE time in almost 4 years lol). Once i gave her a 5 page laundry list of what she did to me in the last 6 months, she agreed to meet. But then we started arguing over the time to meet just like when we were trying to meet to talk about fixing our problems (when we were still together). So, i said screw it, and i went to her job where i knew she would be alone. When she saw me she came right over and hugged and tryed to kiss me. We had a great talk and left each other on a much more friendly term. I learned she was hurting as much as me and we both said we still loved each other but we left it at that because we both know it isn't working. We kissed one last time with much love and i left. This was last week. We've emailed back and forth a few times since. We are both moving on but i'm still so broken hearted. I loved and still love her very much.

sad...i remember when me and my ex(my first and only real love) broke up.....i hugged her and didnt let go for a whole minute....i had tears running down my face....and i let go and kissed her on her forehead....and she gave me a kiss on the lips and i saw a tear running down her eye.......she had already come to the realization that we were over weeks in advance and i could tel so she wasnt as broken hearted in that moment as i was ....but it wasnt the same for me.....i kept wanting to hold on and keep trying....it always seemed so right.....and i thought we could make it through anything....cause we had made it so long even though we werent always on the same page

looking back i could tell she was detaching the last 3 or 4 weeks.....but she wouldnt just let it go and say it...and ill never really understand why.....it would have been so much easier....i even asked if she wanted to go elsehwere and look for something else....but she wouldnt say it....

[Gobears1]

Those are some good stories guys.sad stories but good stories...love is a crazy thing when its going good its going great and you feel great and when its going bad its really bad and the days drag by..the thing for me is I feel bad because she wont give me another chance and I feel so bad for saying that stuff to her and hurting her when all I really want to do is make her happy and make her smile, she has had kind of a rough life and ihas been a working single mom of 2 kids for a while now, well I think she has found someone else now but is sparring my feelings by not telling me...but I have no one to blame but me this was truly all my fault she was nothin but nice to me, I cant believe I talked to her like that. And like you guys have said now I just have to deal with it and become a better person. I just hate that I had to learn this lesson like this because I will never talk to her like that again but it seems to late now...but I did need to learn that lesson eventually I just wish I never hurt she didnt deserve, its going to take me a while to get over this one if I ever do. Its like she will always have a little piece of my heart.

[badrazor]

Those are some good stories guys.sad stories but good stories...love is a crazy thing when its going good its going great and you feel great and when its going bad its really bad and the days drag by..the thing for me is I feel bad because she wont give me another chance and I feel so bad for saying that stuff to her and hurting her when all I really want to do is make her happy and make her smile, she has had kind of a rough life and ihas been a working single mom of 2 kids for a while now, well I think she has found someone else now but is sparring my feelings by not telling me...but I have no one to blame but me this was truly all my fault she was nothin but nice to me, I cant believe I talked to her like that. And like you guys have said now I just have to deal with it and become a better person. I just hate that I had to learn this lesson like this because I will never talk to her like that again but it seems to late now...but I did need to learn that lesson eventually I just wish I never hurt she didnt deserve, its going to take me a while to get over this one if I ever do. Its like she will always have a little piece of my heart.

I have an idea. Why don't you decide to make up your mistake to the next girl? Whoever it is that you meet next, treat her twice as good. Go the extra yard with her. Make her a Queen. You do that, and you are forgiven and you will realize that we are all human and we all make mistakes but only the smart ones learn from them and even go a step further.

[Gobears1]

Badrazor thats a great idea and I definetly will but right now it just wont be the same. I really only want her but she hates my guts right now and it just hurts me that I hurt her and shes gonna be with other people but I really do want her and her kids to be happy...and I understand I have to fix myself and become a better person before gettin in another relationship and I cant take that one for granted. I will enjoy all the goodtimes with the next woman and not talk to her crazy...although a very very longshot I wish the next woman was her.

[overanxious]

ya we always want that love that we felt was so real back....my ex was crazy...NPD and BPD.....and i was as nice as could be until the manic mood swings hit....i was still relatlively nice....never using the b word or anything like that....but i gave it back....the only thing i ever asked from her was to become responsible with money and work.....and while there were glimmers of hope it never happened and i kept getting frustrated....at the same time I stood by her and kept waiting....even offering my support....but i kept threatning to breakup when it seemed like everything i did was wrong and i was constantly bearing the brunt of her unhappiness.....

i can remember one example...one day she was working for her dad...he had his own painting business and she worked for him sometimes....so i had the day off....and knowing how she hates to be alone...i said ill go with her and spend the day.....we stopped and got coffee and bagels.....went and grabbed lunch....she even revealed a present she got for me when she had gone shopping...the day seemed great......then the project was taking longer than expected and she was upset that she had to be there passsed a certain hour and that she was going to have to come back to finish....and that her dad was prob going to be upset he was going to have to pay her to come back for a project he thought should have been finished.....well long story short i beared the brunt of it on the ride home and we got into it ......

things were so good for so long....i keep wondering what it was i did exactly that made her start to hate me.....i keep flashing back to the good times and how easy and simple it was

[amy37]

I think it's best you move on.

She saw your ugly side and I don't think her feelings towards you are going to change. Best you just move on with your life Gobears. Learn from your mistakes and change them.

You'll find someone better. Best of wishes.

[Gobears1]

Overanxious good story, aint it crazy how things change...thanks amy for your advice and I think your right but I hope your wrong and I got a question to the females why when you get a certain perception of somebody why is it so hard for you to give that person another chance once youve seen somethin you dont like...i think some of this stems from past bad relationships and sometimes I think women and men in some vases jump the gun and punish good people for the mistakes that other people done to them in past relationships.....and I got another question that I want your guys opinion on the girl I like but doesnt really like me right now although we have been textin a little the last couple days has her birthday and her sons birthday comin up on the same day. Do you guys think I should get them a gift or do you even think she would accept the gift.