Would you want to know if a friend has a crush on you if you're taken?

[Ric]

@Azure
True, but that's not the case with me. I just became friends with her and found out how amazing she is.
Oh well, to each their own. The important part here is that I'm not looking to just getting laid. :p

@Miz
That's what makes the situation difficult. If she was truly happy I'd leave it alone, and if she was miserable I'd talk to her about it.
However, she's happy with him, just not satisfied. She has fun with him, good sex, he's there for when she needs him, etc. but he is a bit low on the emotional level. And she's been wanting to see some actual improvement on that for a few years. Regular topic of our conversations.

[Maisie]

Ric - It is a tough situation for you to be in. Every person is different, the reason my situation turned awkward was the fact that the friend is saying bad stuff, which is unfounded. He hasn't even met 'the man who took me away' as he calls it. As tough as it is, I think you do need to move on and if her status changes and you're still in the same place you are now...well, who knows. But for now, I think to keep quiet is the sensible option.

[smackie9]

No don't do it.......what do you think will happen? Her dumping her BF for you? NOT going to happen. When they break up ask her out on a date and take it from there.

[Ric]

Well, an update on the situation.

We were talking on msn and I said something on which she said "Only because you're secretly in love with me"
Which I took as jokingly, so I said half jokingly back "*blushes*, well, that and because you're awesome"

She took it as real, while I expected her to take it as a joke. Not sure how she was feeling about it I said "I might have been joking as you did."
Well, she was disappointed with that. So I told her the truth, and she's not at all uncomfortable with it. She actually seems to really like it. Makes her feel really flattered.

I decided to not push it, though. Not going to ask her if she has similar feelings for me. It's nice enough that I don't have to tiptoe around her so she doesn't find out I like her.

Yeah, all seems quite useless, but it's a big thing for me.

[Darren Taylor]

If it were me, I'd want to know. In these situations, things do become weird. If a female friend is developing feelings for me, I'd want her to be honest about it so when things start to get weird, I don't think I did something wrong. These things do happen, but I don't want to be constantly thinking I did something to upset her.

[ashley89]

I wouldn't want that to happen. it would make me feel awkward, and put our friendship in a weird position. she has a boyfriend and even though you think she might like you, she is still with him. if she wasn't into him, she wouldn't still be with him. don't risk messing up your friendship with her and making things weird by saying that to her

[smackie9]

You are best to back off a bit and let her come to you. Gushing and showering someone with affection that you are not in a relationship with, is over kill and pushes them away. You need to keep being mysterious, kool, and let them have fun chasing you.

[Ric]

You are best to back off a bit and let her come to you. Gushing and showering someone with affection that you are not in a relationship with, is over kill and pushes them away. You need to keep being mysterious, kool, and let them have fun chasing you.

I agree. I don't think I'm doing that anyway. For the most part I treat her like I treat most my friends. I've always been a flirtatious type, do this with friends I'm not particularly interested in either.
Obviously I give her some extra attention, but I don't think I overdo it.

[girl68]

Second the I don't want to know. Though there could be exceptins. With my ex, yes- I would want to know becasue there was something missing and deep down I was looking for something better.

Now engaged, why the hell would someone tell me? To feel flattered? I'm flatted when I get hit on, I don't need my good friend to tell me he's secretly in love with me. No matter how you look at it it's awkard, are you allowed to talk as deeply anymore with it not being an emotional affiar? Are you allowed to hang out one on one now that you know he's in love with you? Nah.... see I don't need such complications. Get over your feelings if you need time take it.