Is this unforgivable?

[fi123]

my situation is very similar to yours aic7780, my boyfriend broke up with me because i was not able to spend much time with him because i was working so much to pay off debts, so i kind of know how you feel and i sympathise. Its very frustrating because you feel like you have no choice but to give them less time otherwise you will mess up the rest of your life and you hope they would understand that, but they don't.

[aic7780]

my situation is very similar to yours aic7780, my boyfriend broke up with me because i was not able to spend much time with him because i was working so much to pay off debts, so i kind of know how you feel and i sympathise. Its very frustrating because you feel like you have no choice but to give them less time otherwise you will mess up the rest of your life and you hope they would understand that, but they don't.

Has he been in contact with you since? With my situation I feel like she is going to come crawling back. Whether I want her back at this point is another story. Do you feel the same way? It seems like the dumper would experience extreme guilt and would want to make things right or reconcile.

[ShannonMI]

She's a bitch! This is totally unforgivable! If she was a decent girlfriend and loved you, she would be supportive of your career goals. She should have been completely understanding about your need to study. The bar exam is a HUGE deal! And what girl wouldn't want her man to have a good job and have big goals like this? Forget her. Don't even talk to her. She's very selfish.

[aic7780]

She's a bitch! This is totally unforgivable! If she was a decent girlfriend and loved you, she would be supportive of your career goals. She should have been completely understanding about your need to study. The bar exam is a HUGE deal! And what girl wouldn't want her man to have a good job and have big goals like this? Forget her. Don't even talk to her. She's very selfish.

It's so weird. She was supportive for a long time. She would tell me she cant wait to brag to everyone and tell them that her husband is a lawyer! I just don't understand how someone can change so quickly.

[ShannonMI]

Yea that's awful what she did to you. She obviously couldn't really handle you focusing all your time and energy into this. She probably didn't realize how much time and dedication it takes to become a lawyer. You're better off. Go find yourself a girl that supports you and your goals.

[qwertz]

Well, I wouldnt call it unforgivable..there are much worse things that could have happened. But she was a bitch and was very much selfish. Only you can decide whether you forgive her or not.

[fi123]

Hi aic7780 - our split is very recent only since yesterday officially so i'm not sure what is going to happen, i posted a new thread on here today about my situation.

[IndiReloaded]

I don't believe in braking up if you are with right person.

I might see this differently in the future, but at this time I believe if it were me I wouldn't take back someone who broke off the relationship. If those were true, she had noble intentions however. You should never put anything before your significant other.

This post gets a D-. Spelling mistakes and poorly supported ideas. Incorrect use of the word 'however', commas, and antecedants.

[aic7780]

Well, I wouldnt call it unforgivable..there are much worse things that could have happened. But she was a bitch and was very much selfish. Only you can decide whether you forgive her or not.

If she cheated on me, I'd never ever speak to her again. What she did to me I could forgive and move on but at this point I don't know if I want to get into a relationship with her again. We've been together for a while and the next step would be marriage. All the posts this topic has gotten really opened my eyes how low this was. At first I felt like I was in the wrong for neglecting her. Then as time went on I felt like she is a moron for what she pulled.

[IndiReloaded]

If she cheated on me, I'd never ever speak to her again. What she did to me I could forgive and move on but at this point I don't know if I want to get into a relationship with her again. We've been together for a while and the next step would be marriage. All the posts this topic has gotten really opened my eyes how low this was. At first I felt like I was in the wrong for neglecting her. Then as time went on I felt like she is a moron for what she pulled.

I'm not excusing her behaviour at all, but do pay attention to what you said (bolded). There is probably some truth there. Relationship problems almost never happen in a vacuum. Her problem is that she couldn't communicate what she wanted in a non-destructive way. Either this is a lesson you two can move on from, if you love her, or you can't. Only you know this. But if I were you, I would make damn sure she really understood what the real problem was^ before considering getting back together. Student days are easy-street compared to how hard you'll be working in your chosen profession. She needs to learn how to ask effectively now and not assume you'll have the mental energy to spare to think about both your needs AND hers. Good luck.

[aic7780]

I'm not excusing her behaviour at all, but do pay attention to what you said (bolded). There is probably some truth there. Relationship problems almost never happen in a vacuum. Her problem is that she couldn't communicate what she wanted in a non-destructive way. Either this is a lesson you two can move on from, if you love her, or you can't. Only you know this. But if I were you, I would make damn sure she really understood what the real problem was^ before considering getting back together. Student days are easy-street compared to how hard you'll be working in your chosen profession. She needs to learn how to ask effectively now and not assume you'll have the mental energy to spare to think about both your needs AND hers. Good luck.

Well said. Thanks!

[lahnnabell]

This post gets a D-. Spelling mistakes and poorly supported ideas. Incorrect use of the word 'however', commas, and antecedants.

The English major in me is very turned on

[lahnnabell]

I'm not excusing her behaviour at all, but do pay attention to what you said (bolded). There is probably some truth there. Relationship problems almost never happen in a vacuum. Her problem is that she couldn't communicate what she wanted in a non-destructive way. Either this is a lesson you two can move on from, if you love her, or you can't. Only you know this. But if I were you, I would make damn sure she really understood what the real problem was^ before considering getting back together. Student days are easy-street compared to how hard you'll be working in your chosen profession. She needs to learn how to ask effectively now and not assume you'll have the mental energy to spare to think about both your needs AND hers. Good luck.

Also beautifully put.

[aic7780]

In the event that contact is re-established, she should be the one to re-establish the contact? I think that would be fair given the circumstances and would show I will not tolerate crap like that.

[LailaK]

Why do you still want to be with her when she's proven herself to be a selfish b*tch?

I just broke up with my boyfriend and I have a b*tchy friend who says that I was too nice to him. She said that boys respect b*tchy girls and those are the ones that they moon after. I personally think she spends too much time smelling her own sh*t, but when I read what you're writing it seems to make her point valid. -_-