The "slutty" vs "innocent" girl stereotype

[Gigabitch]

Simply enough, an innocent girl retains respect by not sleeping with every odd guy and his dog, and in that sense keeping a degree of dignity by keeping it for those who really deserve it.

A slut is a bag for guys to thrust their manhood against and discard when it has gotten over-used.

I dont mind a girl having a few previous partners, but when numerous enough to classify as a "slut" I'd say no.

Okay, so just how many odd people and dogs can a woman sleep with, in your estimation, and still remain "innocent"?

I, myself, draw the line at just one dog, but maybe I'm old-fashioned.

[Aeradalia]

I talk about sex openly as well... but have never been labeled a slut. So there must be more to it than just that.

I do joke, flirt but in a sensible and respectful way, and if they do want to talk about sex directly it's in a matter-of-fact way with no reference to there ever being an 'us'.

My partner count is relatively low... all things considered. Most of my relationships where serial monogamy, and I've only had a single one-night stand... and that wasn't intended.

I think the difference between a slut and an 'innocent' girl has more to do with how much thought actually went into their choice of sexual partners. As a result, if you do not put much thought into who you want to be with/sleep with, then your count will generally be higher. The higher number of lovers that a woman has had by itself can be misleading.

[Rollerderby]

Most people have been around the block. I think it's also how much respect you have for yourself in the situations you find yourself in. Judging a person by what they've done isn't useful if it's something they have grown out of.
STDs is of course and exception to this. However, all it takes is on partner who doesn't know they have something. Guys don't usually show symptoms.
Of course I'm playing devils advocate. I would like to know how much is too much. Or is it just that the number should be lower than yours? Hell, that's easy to fake: lie.

[padlock]

It's all about personal preference. Some guys want a woman that is inexperienced and some guys want a woman that's got her game on.

As to fidelity, I don't think it really matters. If a person--male or female--is going to cheat, then he/she is going to cheat. I've known several women that cheated on their husbands, and I never did see a pattern that connected any of them together; except they all wanted to be with someone besides their hubbies. I think it all boiled down to their partners not taking care of business.

[Tug]

Sure, the old "a man that sleeps with 100 women is a player and a desirable bachelor and a woman who sleeps with 100 men is a total slut" gets me mad and I'd love to hear it's just a myth although I know from experience it's not(argh).
But now, strictly from the pov of you guys and who you'd date, how do you view a girl who has a reputation of being slutty? Wouldn't that just mean you're more likely to have sex with her than with a innocent Virgin Mary type?

And another thing. When it came to me and my ex, he acted a bit nuts every time I mentioned a previous relationship with a guy he didn't know about, and when I asked him what was wrong he told me stuff like "It drives me crazy imagining you with someone else" but cmon it's not like I could've ever kept myself because I had read the future and known I'd be with him. But on the other hand, if HE let something of the sort slip, then I found him even more desirable.

Im older than most here and I can honestly say that from my experience woman that have slept around aka sluts usually suffer from very low self esteem and feel that only way they can get a man is to sleep with him right off the bat. Another thing I've noticed is that slutty women have the need to surround themselves with men and Im not talking about casual acquintences, once again IMO all that reverts to their lack of self esteem.

zepplica, I'd consider it an insult if a woman I had an relationship with found it necessary to constantly talk about her past relationships. If she feels that strongly about her past than she needs to go back to it and let me get on with my future.

[padlock]

It never bothered me if a g/f talked about past relationships. Kinda gave me some insight to what she expects from a man. Sex stories are kind of a turn on, too. Either a woman is going to loyal, or she's not. I don't think her past is any real indicator of her loyalty to you.

[Mish]

What I find disgusting is there seems to be some kind of a cultural preference in our society for people to be sluts (both men and women, maybe men more than women). From a social point of view being a slut is very attractive it means you can attract a lot of people, everybody wants you, you are popular, you excel in social situations, you have a lot of experience, you haven't "wasted" your youth. That's why people dress so provocatively and act so slutty, that's why we have cultural slut role models to aspire to, that's why the clubs are places where people dry hump each other. Not many people actually think about diseases, about the consequences and about the fakeness of it all.

[doppelgaenger]

because you only live once, right?

[Lite]

Okay, so just how many odd people and dogs can a woman sleep with, in your estimation, and still remain "innocent"?

I, myself, draw the line at just one dog, but maybe I'm old-fashioned.

That depends. Are you sleeping with the dog because you want to, or because you're trying to use the 800 question purity test as a checklist of things to accomplish?

[NBT]

Innocent girls bore me, and I'm not attracted to virgins.

The "slut" on the other hand, as much as I like a woman who is "sexually free", would be hard to date also, but for different reasons. Due to how much she obviously enjoys sex with multiple men, she might be tempted to cheat on me more than a virgin would.

At the SAME time, however, ANYBODY can be tempted. Slut, virgin, innocent, or wild. So you can't really base your decision to date someone solely on how much sex they've had in the past.

Who I date, is more determined by who they ARE (as a PERSON) rather than who they've had SEX with.

[KingZ]

Innocent girls bore me, and I'm not attracted to virgins.

The "slut" on the other hand, as much as I like a woman who is "sexually free", would be hard to date also, but for different reasons. Due to how much she obviously enjoys sex with multiple men, she might be tempted to cheat on me more than a virgin would.

At the SAME time, however, ANYBODY can be tempted. Slut, virgin, innocent, or wild. So you can't really base your decision to date someone solely on how much sex they've had in the past.

Who I date, is more determined by who they ARE (as a PERSON) rather than who they've had SEX with.

Yeah, listen to the Michigan-based relationship expert.

[survivor08]

Im older than most here and I can honestly say that from my experience woman that have slept around aka sluts usually suffer from very low self esteem and feel that only way they can get a man is to sleep with him right off the bat. Another thing I've noticed is that slutty women have the need to surround themselves with men and Im not talking about casual acquintences, once again IMO all that reverts to their lack of self esteem.

zepplica, I'd consider it an insult if a woman I had an relationship with found it necessary to constantly talk about her past relationships.

I am in my late 30s and as a bohemian college surfer type years ago, I went thru a number of sexual experiences in my 20s. A friend used to joke that I have seen more ass than a public toilet seat. that is great and ego satisfying at an early age., but that is not how I want to be remembered by my friends today. I want to give myself self respect as well.

Today, I really want to be extra selective of dating women who are classy, and have good values. I look for women who are marriage material.

Case in point, and it is a BIG issue with me in my previous relationship with the woman I loved. She told me way too much about previous boyfriends, and sexual adventures and that fact that she had participated in threesomes, I should have kicked her to the curb as soon as I got too much info, but like an idiot I went with the past is the past, but I feel I sometimes judged her for it especially when we argued....But I tried taking the mature high road, but I knew she compromised her self respect once I learned about some of her high risk sexual behaviors.
Obviously she was great in bed, and an eager beaver. and I liked this about her. But I just could not forget, that part of the reason she had lived her life this way, was due to the fact that she had some self esteem issues going on, and also an absentee father thing as well.

I want a woman to be confident of her sexuality and into having sex, but I just don't want to know how she learned to give oral, or be so good in bed.

there more names get dropped by a woman about previous boyfriends in discussions, the more they shoot themselves in the foot (a marriage counselor would agree that speaking about past relationships in a new relationship is a bad idea. (men keep track of this crap to determine the woman's slutto meter scale) the less I am into them.

And do you know the different between a bitch and a Slutt?

a Slutt sleep with you and all your friends.

a bitch just sleeps with your friends.

[survivor08]

I would like to know how much is too much. Or is it just that the number should be lower than yours? Hell, that's easy to fake: lie.

Let me give you an idea, the ladies from the show sex in the city? Except for the waspy, prudish one, all the rest of the women on the show I would consider slutts. They sleep with way too many people.

[NBT]

Yeah, listen to the Michigan-based relationship expert.

lol, Do I detect a note of sarcasm?