Cont. :$

[PrincessKiara]

Think if you called first you should say something even if there was a silence.

I know I should, but my mother has so drummed into me that he obviously doesn't want to talk to me and if I try to force myself on him he'll drop me like a bad cold that I didn't want him to think I was chasing him, or something. My mother finds me annoying to be around, and the last thing I need is Beren feeling the same way...

However your mother don't have rights to tell you stop being prostitute cause you havent even kissed the guy on lips. Better would be tell her that cause she might have wrong impression of you like she might think you been sexual with Beren. Maybe thats why she changed cause its hard for her to realise that you can love someone so strong and her little girl to who she was once most important person in the world now love someone else more, someone who dont deserve it as she thinks. Maybe she feels now Beren is most important to you now and that she have taken second place after everything she done for you. And thats why something inside of her died and she became colder to you. You should talk this out with her.

I have, and she knows I haven't been sexual with ANYONE. I have told her multiple times. She went from saying she was sure I was a pure, virgin, innocent girl to saying all sorts of mean things. What's more, she KNOWS the way she raised me, and she knows I wouldn't sleep with anyone unless/until I was married.

Yes, I'd definitely kiss Beren, but that's as far as I'd go...

How did you felt when he said he wants to be friends forever?

To be honest...thrilled. It was the first time I've ever had someone say they wanted to be friends forever and they really meant it. Before, I would always say that to my friends, they would be like, "Yeah...OK, let's be friends forever" and then gradually phase out of my life no matter whether or not I tried to stay in touch. I really felt Beren would be different. It's like he wasn't just saying it--like his soul was truly in it.

With how easily intimidated he is, and the way my parents have been treating ME lately...I think it not unlikely that my father may have threatened him to get him away from me. In that case, I must speak with Beren in person and let him know that I, on my part, do not want to lose contact, and will not allow my parents to dictate my feelings towards anyone.

Thoughts? Advice? I don't want to lose my mother, my best friend and my dog all at once! (My mother sold my dog yesterday and did not even let me know beforehand so that I could say good-bye! I just woke up and Jasmine was gone! And my MOTHER said NOTHING to me until I asked her FOUR TIMES where my dog was!!! I would never have believed it of her, but after this, I cannot trust her promise that she said nothing to Beren. When I asked her about it, she blew up at me for not trusting my father who "has been very good to your ingrate of a friend".) And she told me that my father spoke to him, but would not say what he said except for a dark hint that he was angry with Beren for not taking the job he got for him.

[pcmaster]

Yeah your mother seems to have some problems. But then again everyone have them. Selling your dog like that would be more understandable if you were 3-4 years old. But when you are 18 and responsible for animal, thats quite disrespectful. Maybe your parents still see you as a little girl. You could talk with them about it(that you are adult now) but if they want all to be their way and not looking for compromise then good idea would be start living on your own. Might be more expensive than living with parents but at least they wont hold you back anymore.
Actually everyone should have their own place when they reach 18, thats a pretty good age to become independent or at least start living on your own. I left home at 20 but wish I would did at 18 years of age. Bet some of your friends already left home.

I think it not unlikely that my father may have threatened him to get him away from me

They act strange thats for sure. Had idea this might be the case. But then again better not to bring this up if you are not 100% sure.

[PrincessKiara]

Just got kicked out of my house. With no prior warning or explanation, my parents told me we were going to talk...they took me to the plaza, left me there with only a bag of clothing and some money and told me I couldn't come back home. They told the security guards not to let me through and told me that I had to leave my dog-walking job and if they saw me walking dogs in the residential area they'd call the police on me.

Thankfully, as the neighbors have been very supportive and so have my friends, I am able to keep my job in spite of them, and luckily I'm not homeless as I have become roommates with a friend. But now they are holding my things and some of my papers in ransom, they say they won't give them back unless I pay them the three thousand pesos I supposedly owe them for a surgery I had last year on my toes.

Argh, how am I ever going to study, work AND save for university!?

And now I trust them less than ever. Surely they did say something to Beren and don't want to admit it!

I messaged a friend of his asking him to ask Beren to call me. Yesterday he said he'd pass on the message, so I'm waiting...

[pcmaster]

Your parents sure see you as a grown up now. But in my eyes you are still little girl. How can they be so cold to you. And you dont even seem so shocked, its like you didnt expect anything good from them anyway.
Thank God you have good people around you who supports you. That is very important in longterm cause you cant predict things like that. From a bright side its good that you dont have to deal with your parents weirdness anymore. You could ask your sisters to get you your papers, also there are some other ways that wouldnt be so nice but paying would be last think I do. Was you 18 or studying when you had surgery? Cause they have to support you till you are 18 or studying til 22 or something. At least thats the law in my country and laws are pretty much the same everywhere.

Just wanted to say Kiara that it is part of life to lose things. Lose friends, dreams etc. But you always keep earning new friends and have new dreams before the previous ones are gone. This process never stops.

Okay you might not get new parents but even they, once they see that you are doing well in life without them, will become much nicer to you.

I hope you can speak to Beren soon.

[PrincessKiara]

No reply from Beren yet... ugh.

Believe me, I was shocked, hurt and angry. I don't even remember clearly how it all happened, I know I made a bit of a scene...I am afraid that I cannot fully let go of the loving mother I once had. I ran after the car and kept calling to her and begging her not to leave me alone. I had absolutely nowhere to go, and she knew that. God only knows where I'd be now had my friend not come all the way out from her house to get me and take me to where I'm staying now, an hour's bus ride away.

My mother went to tell the administrator of the residential area where I used to live with her and told her not to let me in. She (the admin) offered to let me stay with her daughter, who is also studying and working. I think I will take her up on the offer, it's much closer and safer than my friends' house and much better than living with my boss.

My parents warned me, when they left me, not to tell anyone because I'd look bad...well, the security guards who saw what happened were not happy with my parents at all.

I'm truly shocked at the goodness there is in the world still! Several of my dog-walking customers/ex neighbors have given me things and helped me out tremendously...without my even asking, one of my first customers gave me some food and called her lawyer to help me! I was in tears!!!

And turns out my parents are legally still obligated to take care of me until I turn 21, even if I don't live with them, as long as I don't have kids or am not married. I don't want anything from them except my things and pets, though...it seems they will have to give me my stuff so that's okay. I just hope they haven't already killed my fish...though I don't have much hope. They always were cruel with my fish. My dad would make me flush my baby fish just so he wouldn't have to take me to the pet store to exchange them for store credit when they grew up.

And I was told they can't make me pay them for my surgery because they should still support me...I want to live on my own, and not depend on them for anything anymore...but I can't pay them that money as it would leave me with only 500 dollars (9000 pesos) to my name and I'm not even sure where I'll live or how much rent I'll have to pay.

However, if they truly only wanted to "teach me a lesson about how hard life is", as they claimed...they wouldn't have also tried to starve me to death! They gave me the money, yes, but now they want most of it back, and also...they know I hardly earn anything at my 'real' job, and they tried to make me lose BOTH my jobs...they told me they'd call the cops if they found me walking dogs in the residential area (I was already assured that nothing will happen if they do it, so it's OK for me to continue working...but they certainly tried, they even told the guards not to let me in!) And they knew I'd get fired at my 'real' job if I went to work wearing sneakers, but they wouldn't let me get my work shoes...if a sweet neighbor hadn't given me a pair I don't know what I'd have done. And of course she told me not to, but I will pay her back ASAP.

I think today I will speak to a posible future roommate, the administrator's daughter. Hopefully all will go well...and I'm told maybe if I stay with her I'll be able to keep my fish and dog, if I can find her again.

I need my certificate by tomorrow...and in order to get a new one, I'd have to pay about 700 to 800 pesos and not be able to get it until up to six months have passed. I need my original and can't wait that long, and I'd prefer to not pay that money as I don't yet know how I'm going to live even with my promotion. And this promotion, if I take it, would mean I would have to be available all the time for an emergency call whenever I'm not in school, and I will be working, sleeping or studying all day long.

Not that I mind, really. It'll keep my mind off my parents' betrayal.

With my father, I don't care. I always guessed he didn't care for me, despite his and Mom's assertions to the contrary. But Mom was the one who really hurt.

Her complete lack of empathy and caring now, her one-word NO whenever I ask for my things which she does NOT need and therefore keeps only out of spite...I'm not sure I even know her anymore.

[PrincessKiara]

OMG BEREN JUST MESSAGED ME!!!
So I couldn't take it anymore and I messaged Beren's friend asking him to ask Beren to call me.
I got off work today to find THIRTY messages from him on my phone!!!!
I am so definitely confessing the next time I see him. I was tempted to tell him right then and there, but it was a phone call and people were listening and I was too emotionally wrought.
He bought a phone just to talk to me after his friend showed him my message, and without my having said anything promised to stay in touch. He said "I love you very much my friend and you're the most important person in my life aside from my brother" (and this was the word for romantic love). He was worried about what my parents and I would think of him for not taking the job and explained why he didn't, promised to come see me soon and begged me to forgive him for not speaking to me, saying the phone I gave him refused to work with his SIM card as they're from different companies. He promised never to cut contact again and that he dreamed of me every night and spoke of me to everyone.
I saw the messages hours later as I'd been at work and he replied right away. I asked if I could call him and we spoke until my phone died. He was so sweet and passionate, begging me to forgive him and saying he missed me and spoke of me every day, how he wanted to come see me all Christmas, how his heart jumped every time someone mentioned my name, etc. I told him I miss him terribly too, and mentioned what happened, so he said he'd always be there for me and he wanted to jump on a bus right away and go see me.
Ohhhh, my heart just feels so light right now...

[pcmaster]

Great news Kiara. I was thinking its crazy when I send 5 messages in a row to girls. But you kids did it. Your love is 30 messages strong. Good that you spoke too. You needed something positive like that in your life after all the shit. Now only thing thats left is to meet.

[PrincessKiara]

I do wish he'd come to see me before going off to his hometown, but he said he'd be back soon and at any rate my parents still have his birthday present

And I'll be waiting for him! Yesterday I hinted that I have something important to tell him I can't believe I got up the courage to go even that far! He asked what and I said not over the phone, and he was like, Oh okay beautiful

God, I hope I don't mess up our friendship. But I am nearly certain that there is something else here, and not just on my part. Oh, I can't wait to see him! It was SO beautiful hearing his voice again

He asked me to sing for him as we used to do on WhatsApp, so with a voice message I recorded "My Heart" by Arsenium, lol... Pretty bold move, I know, but as he knows it's one of my faves I used to sing with Mom before...this all happened, and he hardly speaks a word of English...guess I'm pretty safe there lol.

When you call my name I will be there
By your side
Even if you're far away oh I'll still be there
Looking at the stars, I'll make a wish every night
Hoping they will let you stay just one more day!

When I hear your breathing, I can read your feelings
If you stay we can find a way
Know that love will make the weather if we stay together
You and me, only way to be!

I am thinking of cutting contact with my mom. She rarely replies to my messages with more than a one word text and runs hot and cold; one moment she loves me, the next it's all my fault and my decisions will destroy me. Yesterday she was in a more communicative mood and so I risked asking for the phone number of the lady who bought Jasmine (in a lightly veiled way since I know she doesn't want me to have my dog), "Hey Mommy, I want a puppy. Can you give me the number of your dog breeder friend?" (Keeping in mind that while I happened to see on her phone a message from this person saying she'd be happy to have my dog, Mom doesn't know that I knew who had her.) But she immediately snapped, "No, my dog is in a good place with someone who REALLY cares for her and she's happy. You won't get her back." So I searched for this girl on FB and found her. I DO NOT WANT MY DOG WITH HER! She's a profesional breeder and sells pups for money. If she stays there, however well they treat her, my baby will be little more than a puppy factory! So I'll get her back somehow.

And yesterday I was waiting for the bus until midnight and had to walk home at that hour...ran into this lady with her kids and two médium dogs. The male was not very pretty, but the smaller female was absolutely gorgeous and walked up to me and started kissing my hands. I was immediately taken and told the lady so, and she offered me the dog!

If my companion agrees, I will take her home today or tomorrow. I am so very excited. This is my FIRST chance to get a "major" pet (i.e. not a fish or bird) that I pick out and that is really mine so no one will be able to take her from her or force me to train her the way they want her trained. Having worked with dogs for years, I can easily tell that she is young and healthy as well as well behaved...Little more than a puppy still, but what a puppy! I can't wait to get off work in 12 minutes.. xD

[pcmaster]

You have great work if you can visit loveforum there. I used to visit it from work only when I was working as a security guard and then got laid of work because they found it out on browser history. So yeah lesson is - dont use work PC for non work things but use your phone. Hope you are using your phone Kiara.

So I dont understand you want to get your dog back or get that puppy? Decide before you take a puppy. I would suggest message that girl first and tell her all the truth and then see if shes willing to give your dog back.

You know Kiara when you are in love all love songs seem to be about you. Dont worry about messing up the friendship cause you cant be just friends anymore anyway. This is clearly the case when friendship between male and female is impossible cause theres too much attraction.

[pro100pk2]

age-old question
Yes or no, that is the question

[PrincessKiara]

O.M.G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Starting a new thread...because this is no longer just about telling him of my feelings