Jealous?

[Gigabitch]

I don't think he's an asshole, I just think he's inconsiderate and his overshare of his sexual history with his finacee is inappropriate.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

But how do we know for sure he's really oversharing it?

Where the heck is the OP?

[starbuck]

I got the feeling he was oversharing, too. She heard his loss-of-virginity at some point. My feeling is that she didn't ask him to share it.

I'm not saying she doesn't have jealousy problems, but he could be inadvertently feeding the green monster.

[NeoSeminole]

Coco says:

"Exactly. Can't really point the finger here when she hasn't even made any reference to the main subject. But she goes on and on about how jealous she is and how it bothers her about how many partners he's had even though she has had many herself. Dunce."

LadieNisha4u2nv says:

"I also think it's ridiculous that I would have to invest in a new bed just because I have a past of sexual encounters. The bed does not make the man. Whether a new bed is there or not, if he wants to ****, he will ****.

I really need a ton more info than what we've been provided because I can't call him an asshole just by assuming he just brings it up for no valid reason."

mmhmm, I love chicks with brains!

[Coco]

Right on! Agreed Nisha!! haha

[bluesummer]

I also have a hard time believing that he just brings it up out of no where. Kind of hard to imagine a guy just saying "So remember that girl I used to date, Cindy? I lost my virginity to her on some cheap Super 8 on my birthday...." and then going in to detail.

Obviously the convo started up somewhere around this area. Maybe he just didn't know what was 'too much'.

[IndiReloaded]

Some people get weirded out at the idea of others using their personal items. I don't think I'd want to sleep longterm on a mattress that some other woman/women had used. A hotel is one thing, its not mine to use daily & I can train my brain not to imagine all that has gone on before. But in a longterm relationship, I would want a new mattress/futon for hygiene as much as the mental reminder.

It would kind of be like letting a new boyfriend wear my exes shirts. Sure, logically, its just a shirt. But few would accept this. In fact one could argue its more logical to hand down the shirt b/c at least that can be well-washed in hot water and bleach.

But people just aren't that logical. They get attached to objects and I don't think the OP or Giga's suggestion to change the mattress is that unusual.

[NeoSeminole]

IndiReloaded, there's nothing wrong with the OP suggesting her fiance get a new bed so long as she's the one who buys it. I take issue with the OP's attitude of "Well, then he's got to buy new mattresses then! We're engaged so he definitely has to get a new one!"

[IndiReloaded]

Ah, my mistake. I misunderstood your point. Agreed; if I wanted the new bed, I would certainly buy it.

[Coco]

When I had this type of issue... I was usually the one to start the conversation. Digging into the past and would get mad about what I would find out. It was immature and insecure of me to that. I grew out of that quick. Be careful what you ask for.

I'm still having trouble believing he outright disrespects her since she says this is their main issue. She also mentions this, "I've been with quite a few guys myself...even have done some porn (which he knows about and is fine with it), but I can't be like him." That tells me there that they are having mutual conversation with one another about this subject and he's not just offering the information to make her squirm. We'll never know unless she clarifies some things.

[iHEARTu]

They're engaged. This means he shouldn't be sleeping with a different girl ever again. Time to retire the bachelor bed.

Thats stupid. a waste of time and money. though you're right that he shouldnt be sleeping with a different girl ever again... but thats no need to retire the bachelor bed. unless they're buying a house together and want a nice big bed or whatever. theres no reason to throw out a perfectly usable bed :O