Family Matters.

[Rosebud]

I thank you Hayward! Much appreciated... good song!

[Mish]

I want a memory of me knowing I did everything I could to be satisfied with myself for the way I handled everything up to the point he dies. Not that I want to mend a relationship or have anything with him. The memory I want is accomplishment of myself for how I have handled everything so I don't have any regrets.

Oh I see. So you just want to quietly wait for him to die without mending anything or having any kind of closure.

Sorry, I must have misunderstood you earlier...

[Rosebud]

Oh I see. So you just want to quietly wait for him to die without mending anything or having any kind of closure.

Sorry, I must have misunderstood you earlier...

MIsh no need to be sarcastic... You have to understand where I'm coming from on all this.

I have explained very briefly some of the things he has done as I was growing up and how I have handled all those situations. I haven't gone into really any detail because I didn't think it was needed. I have come to terms with who he was/is and I accept him as that. I have had issues from all this and have also come to terms with them, and resolved most of them ie. abandonment, insecurities, etc. Why would I want to make any relationship with soemone who doesn't want one? Or even truly feels bad for what they have done which he doesn't (it's all a fasod..spelling???) Why would I put myself through all that all over again to try and gain something I will never be satisifed with?

So I'm not sitting back quietly waiting until he dies. I won't have closure until he dies! I know the person he is and I know he will never change, I have made many attempts to start over fresh and new and he has not responded in any way. So I'm mending my issues by accepting all this.

For you to make that remark....I just.... wow..... I don't even know what to say. I mean seriously, you expect me to feel like he owes me something? I don't. He gave what he wanted to give, yes it's not what I would want but that's what he did. I can't change the past the only thing I can do is accept the things I can't change.

[vashti]

How can anyone ever have satisfactory closure with a man who is interested in children sexually? He's sucked enough out of you, Rosebud. Give him up, sweetie. he will die, you will probably be a bit sad, and then you will move on.

[whaywardj]

The problem is, he's not just a man. He's your father. Do what you can to see more of the man and less of the father.

[chelsee]

i haven't talked to my father for 13 years. he's a man whore. but it still hurts not having a dad there for me.

[Mish]

How can anyone ever have satisfactory closure with a man who is interested in children sexually? He's sucked enough out of you, Rosebud. Give him up, sweetie. he will die, you will probably be a bit sad, and then you will move on.

Exactly what I was trying to say, only coated with nicer wording

[Rosebud]

I'm not making excuses but the child pornography thing is a long story. It was listed as child because she ALMOST 18. And it was pictures on a computer, and not that it was any better but I just want to clarify that it wasn't like physical abuse or anything of that sort even though it was still humiliating.

And basically I have given him up. basically what's going on now is I'm trying to get the things my grand father wanted me to have and since they wouldn't give it to me when I wasn't talking to them, I am getting those things now and.. because of things going down hill with my dad I'm sticking around only because it's close for him to be leaving...

[whaywardj]

There was once theory going around in sociology circles that people in the US strive to fulfill the dreams of their grandparents, not their parents.

[Rosebud]

I was closer to my grandpa then I was to anyone else on that side of the family. After he passed I stopped talking to all of them right away up until this past year. I should mention my grandpa has been dead now for going on 7 years. He didn't have a will but some of things he wanted me to have he told me, but knowing that they refused to give me any of it because my unlces felt they deserved it more than I.

See, that side of the family is all messed up......big time!