2 Months on... My Story and hoping to help others

[lhn]

Well... like I mentioned elsewhere, I removed my ex from Facebook some time ago as the public displays of affection had started with her new bloke: weeks after our split.

I still don't have her as a friend and today was one of the first days in the office when I have coped well with her there. Haven't really spoken to her about anything other than work and I small sense of 'I'm over you' has started to form.

THEN.. BANG.. facebook profile pic with the new bloke (who I knew) and u know what, I'm kinda ok. I felt myself well-up a bit but quickly moved myself on and reminded myself of the progress I've made. Don't get me wrong, I'm not gunna be looking at it again if I can help it. Felt sick for an hour or so and started to feel really hot but screw it... just want to be free of these shackles and perhaps seeing that will mean I can move on to the next stage?!?!

Quick word of advice to others who are seriously affected by their split... sign up to dating websites. Just emailing a few prospects made me feel better. I sooooo didn't feel like dating anyone but just sending the emails has me checking the site with excitement.

[cmacattack1]

It's been one month and a week since I last saw her, one month and two weeks since I last talked to her.

Not feeling desparate to do anything like call/see/text/write/email her, but it rattles the nerves a bit. Makes me wonder if the difference in us being together and us being apart now was the mistakes made during the break up over a month period (showering with attention for the first week, pleading once, writing twice, telling her how I felt and that I was still in love).

After a weekend of just fooling around, being alone as your life comes back to the weekly routine on Sundays are just tough for me.

[lhn]

Yeah, I can totally relate. My saturdays are taken up by the part-time job I got so that helps but sundays are still spent alone really.
Really trying to make friends but I live in the middle of nowhere and it's so damn tough if you didn't grow up around here. Anyway, plugging on with things and hoping I'll turn a corner sooner rather than later.

cmacattack1... thats gotta be a good thing though. Not wanting to get in touch with her. It's sad to think we have to be apart from the ones we love to be happy. Really sad.

[Grobyc82]

I'm new to the forum but would like to say that I feel for you. I've been through this hell and till more recently I had my heart tossed in a blender yet again. Thanks for inspirational posts and keep them coming, with better news of course.

[lhn]

Thanks mate.
Glad you like the posts

[cmacattack1]

A year ago, I never thought I would be in this position. Things were good, new, exciting. I talked to her many times a day, it seemed like there would be no end to the happiness in the future.

Merry Christmas.

[lhn]

God I just hate to think how happy I was last xmas and how unhappy I am this one.
The only thing pulling me through is the thought that I refuse to let next xmas be as upsetting as this one.

[Moe]

I definately can relate to everything,

its been 2 months and im still so broken hearted and so scared Ill never be able to love again.

I still try from time to time to contact her, just cuz I miss her, but she never responds.

I know this means that yeah she doesnt miss me,

Its so hard to move on, but I know eventually I will

I hear you it sucks.

Met up with a few very nice attractive women but I feel nothing not even the want for sex, pretty pathetic ha.

My lowlife Ex will occasionally text me with a question or statement then not answer back, I think she really likes to torture me knowing I will not be rude or disrespectful.

How could women just blatantly LIE. I've never lied to a women in my life and never will maybe that's the problem I am Sucker. One day your the best thing in the world the next your scum, go figure.

Well this ranks as the shittiest Christmas in my life.

[lhn]

Word!

[cmacattack1]

Yeah sorry to be a downer heh. Part of the analysis process is to figure out where things went wrong and what behavior you contributed to the problem and effectively changing that. You can't control how other people will behave or feel, but learning to be assertive will be pretty important for the future.

I got Modern Warfare 2 for Christmas. Think I'm going to take a break from all this grown up talk and splurge for a bit.

Chin up guys, cheer up. You are only a victim if you let her make you feel like one.

[lostwithyou]

Yeah sorry to be a downer heh. Part of the analysis process is to figure out where things went wrong and what behavior you contributed to the problem and effectively changing that. You can't control how other people will behave or feel, but learning to be assertive will be pretty important for the future.

I got Modern Warfare 2 for Christmas. Think I'm going to take a break from all this grown up talk and splurge for a bit.

Chin up guys, cheer up. You are only a victim if you let her make you feel like one.

Awesome game, enjoy it man.

[ricerocket1]

cma - yea its been i ono 3 months i believe and its a bittersweet feeling that it doesn't hurt as much anymore...i just recently found out that she's seeing someone...not really a shocker there but for some reason i wasn't surprise...be strong...i always say make today better than yesterday by doing that your heading into the right direction...merry xmas

[ladyluna85]

awwww i feel u!!!....i cried for 3 days.....3 days of hell....i was embarassed my family see me that way so i cried when nobody saw me....i said sorry to god for every guy i played bf....i also promise god i will never brake anybodys heart....it was bad....i am not 100% over my ex bc i have no choise....but i am like 95% over it....i heard stories of people crying for years bc of a brake up....i have seen friends crying years.....that is why i think i didnt love him.....but this is life and life knows what life is doing....life is always right

[cmacattack1]

I wouldn't say crying for years over it is what love is. That's just obsession and the inability to recognize that you don't need them to be happy. Those kind of friends need help, not just comfort, a hug, and an "aww I'm sorry".

[lhn]

Well, 4 months have past and after constantly switching between wanting to be friends and not wanting to know her, I told her last thursday that we can't be friends. I didn't try to explain, I didn't try to get a reaction, I didn't try to receive closure. I didn't say it to see if I could open up discussions or anything. It's taken this long to accept she is now someone else's and there is no going back.

I simply told her that we wanted different things and no matter how much I've tried, I can't keep pretending things are 'ok'. Because it's not ok. Heartbreak doesn't leave you ok... especially when you have to work with them 5 days a week. Especially when you know the person they are now with.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. Perhaps it's so I can read it back in a moment of weakness. I'm sure plenty of those moments will keep on coming thick and fast, no different to the last 4 months.

No one likes change, myself included but I can't keep hoping that she will be someone she's not. The kind considerate woman I loved vanished when she left me for him.

sorry for rant