Unable to take the first step anymore

[lilwing89]

if your happy and you know it post again *anxiously waits for post*

[Rosebud]

Oh my, I soo don't know where this thread is going to end up???

[lilwing89]

who gives a **** rose? you never know which way any thread may go, even though this one may have some sort of bizaar twist to it.

just follow the oompa-loompas back to the yellowbrickroad of the thread

[Rosebud]

okey dokey.... hey I think they went off the yellow brick road.

[Arkaro]

Shh, I half-agree with you. Location is likely an issue but not as much as before. Nebraska is heaven to me compared to where I used to live: Arkansas.

Also, would you guys mind explaining the snobbish quality? I don't disagree with you, but I see myself as striving to make myself a better person. Especially when it comes to morals. Given that I'm not a christian, you can imagine why I might find this more important than your average christian that gains salvation by blind faith alone.

Hey Tone, amazing how the one person on the internet that tries the hardest to help me lives only a few minutes drive away. Again, could you please explain a few of your previous comments? I don't try to be better than anyone else. I just try so hard to better myself. I hold no contempt for others. I actually envy everyone else's ability to just chill. How can you train yourself to be less uptight?

About speaking to girls.. that's not my problem at all. I have many friends.. so many I can rarely remember all of their names. My problem occurs when I sense even the slightest bit of attraction. I begin to clam up and hide emotionally. I kick myself emotionally for getting into such a situation. I don't back away to protect myself. I do not fear rejection whom I have almost learned to respect. I distance myself to protect them from me. And please don't take my words too far. I do not mean physically but through matters of the heart.

I have so many reasons for people to hate me. I've only listed a few big ones like religion and boring personality. I don't think I even know of all my issues. None of them are horrible alone, I guess, but there's so many that I can't see how anyone could possibly put up with me. My dad was an over-the-road truck driver and my step-mother would always say how it's a good thing he's gone for months at a time else he'd drive her insane. There's so much I've tried not to gain from my dad, but I guess there's no way I can hide from inheriting his fundmental character flaw.

Most of you have come up with great words of wisdom and I'm going to reread them often and try to push myself back in the right direction. But I would like to focus your talents just a little more in my direction. I find some of your answers to be generic and directed to people who are new to love. I've been around the block a few times. I've loved, I've had affairs, I've been rejected, I've done the rejecting. It's just that everything has taken me to a point of helplessness. That's why I'm asking the world(LF.c) for a little help now.

P.S. Perhaps this is not the best place for me to seek help since some of you insist on ignoring what I obviously intend while taking other parts literally. I didn't come here to make friends. I came here for a few words of encouragement and direction. You find a dog that can do that and I'll pay very handsomely for it.

[Arkaro]

Now I need to watch American Psycho. If I find that I relate to the guy, I'll be sure to see that I keep from going to that extreme. If you don't hear back from me, you'll know how it all ended.

[blackiesharley]

Arkaro, I can't answer all your questions, but I can give you my take on two things you mentioned in your original post (Based upon my experience)

Sports: I hate'em. Every one of them and guess what? I worked (part time) for 14 years for a professional NBA team! When I'd meet girls and they'd find out what I did many times they'd go 'Ohhhh, (disappointed sigh) so your a sports fan?' I've actually found that NOT being a sports fan makes me MORE attractive to most (not all of course) girls. I think you should lighten up on yourself on that one and look at it as a plus, not a negative. Many women secretly detist sports but pretend they like them because so many guys do.

Religion: Ahhh... this gets tricky. Again, a recent personal experience... As Tone, Rosebud and other regulars here know, I've been involved with a lady I'm crazy about for a little while now. Just a few days ago out of the blue she said (in a positive way) 'you know, this is getting more serious every day,' and I couldn't agree more. However, all this time I have tip-toed around the subject of religion. Finally it came up last week. Come to find out her late Father was a preacher. Her Brother-in law is a preacher. Not being very religious myself, I was scared for a minute, until she said 'I believe in God, but I'm just kinda private about it.' Perfect. Case closed, no problem. Moral of the story, you sound a lot like me, you worry and over-analize too much.

Lighten up dude! There's a girl out there that's just perfect for you and you'll meet her when you least expect it.

[Tone]

I don't have much time to reply at the moment - so I'm gonna try to make this quick -

But, just reading your first post you came off that way... you may or may not be, but hey - all we can go by is what you type on this internet, so I'm sure the more we get to know you the better we'll see you.

And I'm not sure what else to tell you, you're not afraid to talk to girls, it's just when you feel romantic to them you're afraid to open up? Why? What are you afraid of?

BAH - friend is here now - we can chit chat more later.

[Rosebud]

Everyone on hear makes good points and Like Tone said we only go by what you post and how you post it. By reading the one you just posted on here, it seems your so un happy with yourself that you give that feeling off to everyone you come in contact with so of course they are not going to want to be around you. I know you don't have problems finding girls but you have problems developing a healthy relationship with them because of your own insecurities with your self.

In your post you have stated there are reasons for people to hate you, and you have believed this for a long time I imagine. But if you want to change all these things you have to be the one to do it. I don't know what your looking to accomplish, whether it be a better person in your own eyes, to not be alone, or to feel more accpeted by others. But I suggest you take one thing at a time and try and work on it and then move onto the next. Your looking at everything as a whole right now and to be able to change these things you don't like you ahve to look at them one at a time ( as my dear friend Hayward has told me).

So pick something you think is the most important right now and start there.

[shh!]

Shh, I half-agree with you. Location is likely an issue but not as much as before. Nebraska is heaven to me compared to where I used to live: Arkansas.

Also, would you guys mind explaining the snobbish quality? I don't disagree with you, but I see myself as striving to make myself a better person. Especially when it comes to morals. Given that I'm not a christian, you can imagine why I might find this more important than your average christian that gains salvation by blind faith alone.

.

Hehehe - I agree that Nebraska would be much better than Arkansas!

The part I said about being a bit snobbish is that you seem to want to create a barrier between yourself and others based on your hobbies. I think your hobbies should serve to make you more interesting to others and not be used as an excuse to distance yourself. They could be used as a way to lure people in if you learn how to work it right.

Also, your above post illustrates fairly clear disdain for Christian theology. This is frankly not a problem for me as I am not Christian, but since you are living in a religious area, outward manifestations of this attitude will not serve you well. It is clear that you have disdain for blind faith, and that is what you are surrounded by. Maybe you ought to work on trying to conceal it a bit better, or (again!) move to a less homogenous area.

[Chronos]

Aughsome!

Listen Ack. In the end whatever everyone else is saying, what I pick up here is you are constantly looking for things on the outside to blame. Counter-intuitive, but thats how it seems. Yes, you do say YOU are the problem, but in every case, it is ANOTHER for the reason for your misery. Girls into religion, issues between your step-mom and dad (a can of worms I'm not even going to try to open), you need to not have sex because YOU want to be sure they like you for YOU!

Holy heck doooood! Get off yo fat ass and look in the mirror. Better yet pull down those pants and look...**** LOOK HARD! Do you see little Ack dangling there? Understand who and what you are. In the grand scheme of things..you are wanted more for that li'l piece of meat than for you personality, your wit, your humour, your verve, or anything else you overactive mind wants to think up.

Yer a MAN...act like one. NOW GO GET LAID!