GUYS!! Do guys like persistent girls? Do you like to be persued?

[soulsurvivor23]

What it comes down to is this: nobody should be chasing anybody. We're both human beings capable of making rational decisions. I want to find the love of my life, and she probably does, too, so we should come together and find out if we're the ones. There should be no games, no hard to get. Ideally, half the dates are my idea and the other half are hers, and we split the bills 50/50. Anything else seems to me to be immature..

This is a very well thought out, and very rational post... I like everything you said here, however in reality... when does this part that i've quoted ever happen? I would think very rarely and it's certainly never happened where i'm concerned.

[SirWagginston]

It's happened to me twice. Ex-girlfriend #1, and ex-girlfriend #2.

[Gribble]

Not interested, not interested. Girls are irritating because they play silly games, so us guys have to keep trying even after we've been turned down.

If I don't want you that isn't going to change no matter what you do. In fact, keep trying and I'll be even less inclined to want anything to do with you. Desperation isn't pretty.

[lifesabitch]

It's happened to me twice. Ex-girlfriend #1, and ex-girlfriend #2.

Exactly.....

[SirWagginston]

That's irrelevant, and not even a good point. It's extremely unusual for anyone to find the love of his or her life in just a couple tries. In fact, a significant number of people never find it.

[NewStart]

I mean, wouldn't you like if the roles were switched?! : ) Guys will keep trying to get with a girl they think is pretty, they don't give up! : P Wouldn't you like that?

I guess if I'm interested in dating someone, I'll do my best to make something happen. The idea of "being pursued" sounds a bit stalker-ish and kind of creeps me out.

[Incognito]

What it comes down to is this: nobody should be chasing anybody. We're both human beings capable of making rational decisions. I want to find the love of my life, and she probably does, too, so we should come together and find out if we're the ones. There should be no games, no hard to get. Ideally, half the dates are my idea and the other half are hers, and we split the bills 50/50. Anything else seems to me to be immature.

Awesome! I thought I was the only one with this view. There shouldn't have to be any "chasing". If I express interest and you turn me down, that's the end of it. If you were interested and turned me down to see if I'll chase you're stupid, immature, and deserve whatever you get from the players that will pursue you like a lion pursues a gazelle. As far as a woman pursuing me the same principle applies....I'll show interest if I'm interested and won't if I'm not. If I am not interested further pursuing of me will not change my mind and I'll resort to finding unpleasant ways of getting you to stop.

[lastwish]

Don't chase. That's for people who have no self-respect. But be mysterious and not always predictable.

[Incognito]

^^^ What happened to just being honest and open?

[lastwish]

I don't know what happened to that. I guess people stop doing that because it didn't work?

[bloodtippedrose]

Ideally, half the dates are my idea and the other half are hers, and we split the bills 50/50. Anything else seems to me to be immature.

Sounds like a business partnership to me more than a loving date. Sure I think you should keep things pretty equal with the bill but more like you pay fully for one date or two dates and she will offer to pay for the next one or two and so on. So its more like receiving a gift and feels so much more romantic.

[lahnnabell]

I'm of the mind that if you invite someone out, be it dinner, bowling, or whatever, YOU should pay. I stand by those rules personally as well. When I invited my boyfriend out with me, I paid. You're extending a courtesy by inviting someone to do something with you and expecting them to pay afterward is very rude.

My boyfriend didn't take me out to show me how much money he had, and quite frankly, I'm not impressed by people who throw around money. He took me out to get to know me and to show me that I'm special to him. He didn't have a lot of money, but what he did have he enjoyed spending it on things we did together.

[Incognito]

Sounds like a business partnership to me more than a loving date. Sure I think you should keep things pretty equal with the bill but more like you pay fully for one date or two dates and she will offer to pay for the next one or two and so on. So its more like receiving a gift and feels so much more romantic.

I'm of the mind that if you invite someone out, be it dinner, bowling, or whatever, YOU should pay. I stand by those rules personally as well. When I invited my boyfriend out with me, I paid. You're extending a courtesy by inviting someone to do something with you and expecting them to pay afterward is very rude.

My boyfriend didn't take me out to show me how much money he had, and quite frankly, I'm not impressed by people who throw around money. He took me out to get to know me and to show me that I'm special to him. He didn't have a lot of money, but what he did have he enjoyed spending it on things we did together.

I agree and disagree with both of you to a degree. I suppose that this is more a matter of "different strokes for different folks".

@bloodtippedrose: There is no difference between going dutch or switching who pays. You end up paying about the same. Unless of course you're cheap and try to pay on the less expensive dates.

@lahnnabell: What about the times when you both decide to go somewhere? What if no one person invited the other out? I think that's when going dutch is acceptable. Otherwise I think that the person doing the inviting should pay, as you said. I think it would be kid of silly to say "hey I want to take you to[blah blah]" and then say it will cost X amount of money in the same breath. It's a bit sad actually. If someone can't afford to pay for both people they shouldn't invite, but should rather suggest that they both consider the destination.

[lahnnabell]

Well, when my guy and I have gone places with mutual interest, he was adamant about paying most of the time. Once in a while, if he was low on funds, we'd go dutch. Not a big deal at all. I was always happy to oblige because I rarely got the chance to treat him to anything. Since he's returned from Mexico, I'm getting to return the favor

[Taragirlie21]

I'm on the "ask them once or twice" side, but don't follow them around like a lost dog, or keep "suddenly" showing up where they are, then it gets creepy. Could ask them out a couple times, and if they don't go for it, just be friends then.