Time to get some practice asking girls out

[misombra]

good job dm! practice makes perfect. you gained a bit of confidence today and that's great.

one thing my bf always tells his friends is to have a lot of friends that are girls and not necessarily date material. because they'll have friends that may be date material. that's how he and i met. he was friends with a girlfriend of mine.

but asking out random girls is great practice. helps you let go of the fear of rejection and failure.

[IndiReloaded]

I'd say that first gal liked you, tho she had a BF. Go back another day & see if she still talks to you. Let her make the first move. Go on the premise you are checking it out for your mother. Girls dig guys that love their moms (its a good sign).

[DoesntMatter]

Man, how fuccking embarrassing though. Is there a normal period of time of self-loathing following rejection?

btw, I also have a very huge urge to fucck an escort right now

[Only-virgins]

Stop presenting the date to her as a question such as "Will you get some dinner sometime with me?" ... You need to make a bit more small talk and than present an option for her to jump into. Sometimes when you look at a girl you can tell if she has a little bit of an eye for you and you can tell when they are completely uninterested before even asking them out. Going straight up to a girl and just straight up asking her out rarely works for anyone ever, it puts to much pressure on her and she out of a gut reaction will say no or make up an excuse.

[DoesntMatter]

I hope that there are girls my age doing at least one of the volunteer activities I'm doing this winter. If so, initiating and getting some small amount of chit chat out of them first would be a lot easier

[vashti]

Yeah, you have to be able to gain a certain amount of a girl's trust before you ask her out. girls that age are asked out constantly by men of all ages, so you need to seem like a safe and pleasant option.

Wait until you develop some sort of connection before you ask.

Great job getting yourself out there, though. I'm really proud of you.

[whaywardj]

Whatever all our pick-up artists say, just be aware that when the moment comes you're probably gonna get all tongue-tied and reduced to hoping she thinks you're cute when you're being stupid.

[IndiReloaded]

Man, how fuccking embarrassing though. Is there a normal period of time of self-loathing following rejection?

btw, I also have a very huge urge to fucck an escort right now

Dude, its normal. Sometimes the person doing the rejecting is also embarrassed. I just had this happen to me the other day on a business call. Creep.

[DoesntMatter]

I'm over it all today

[Kiechi]

4) number close (e.g. "you seem pretty chill. We should hang out sometime.")

Hilarious.

[doppelgaenger]

You've got balls of steel. Balls balls balls of steel.

Balls balls balls balls balls balls balls balls of steel.

[doppelgaenger]

1) What should I wear? Pretty much the only pants I have are khakis, although in quite a few different styles of khakis. I also have 1 pair of dark blue khakis. Most of my long sleeve shirts are hoodies, most of them being a plain solid color. I also have college hoodies.

rule #1 - college hoodies = VERBOTEN.
rule #2 - wear whatever kind of pants you like, as long as they fit and match your other clothes.

2) What are some tips for approaching a girl?

Eye contact. Maintain eye contact. Smile sincerely. Be polite (Don't swear or anything, even if she does!)

3) After how much small talk do you ask a girl if she wants to go out for dinner?

Ask after when you feel comfortable and as though you've established a good amount of trust.

4) Do you even NEED any real small talk above just a sentence or two?

I'd suppose in New Yawk the peeps are a little hesitant about meeting random people for a date after one or two sentences. It's hard to get your foot in the door, but you need to be a conversationalist.

5) HOW exactly do you ask her? Just straight up “You wanna go out for dinner sometime?”

You say "I have a meeting to be at. How about dinner and a movie? I'll pick you up at 8, sharp."

6) What do you say if she tells you she has a boyfriend?

"I won't tell, I promise." < that's a nice way to ease off of her. She will probably reject you again, and if so, just be laid back about it and tell her something like "I'm not surprised. You're a really nice girl." and try to end the conversation asap.

7) What do you say if she says you a creep?

The best thing to do is simply walk away. Don't waste any of your time talking to her or trying to ease yourself back down to a socially acceptable goodbye. Allow her to have the awkward social position she lowered herself to. It is hard to turn the cheek and walk the other way after this, but big brother is always watching and listening and you really don't want a bad rep for calling the stupid bitch (which everybody would agree on) a stupid bitch. And if you simply walk away, you leave her to reflect on what a stupid idiot she is and she will feel very embarrassed. Trust me, I'm a master of awkward silence.

8) What do you say if she politefully declines?

Try to get her from the friend zone. "Well, you're a really nice girl. I have to be somewhere soon, but I'll give you a call this evening. Do you have a phone?"

Of course they have a phone. If she lies about that, then she really truly isn't interested. If she answers yes, it is so hard for them to reject you when you put them on the spot like that.

9) How long do you continue to chat after she accepts? Do you just get her number, make some more small talk, and leave?

You're an important, busy man. At least for this conversation. You have somewhere to go; somewhere to be, and you have to go now. She probably does, too. Don't be specific, and thus don't worry about being dishonest. You wish you could stick around all day and get to know each other better, but anyhow you'll give her a call. You're happy she accepted and it made your day, and you can't wait to take her out and waste all your money on her.

Just come up with something based off of that. After a while you'll get creative and be able to pull things entirely out of your ass.

10) What else should I know?

Ignorance is bliss. The less she knows, the better off you are. In other words, don't concern yourself with the itty bitty details of your own life or how to share them. Instead, listen to what she has to say. Try to ask her the right questions, which get her to talk a lot about herself. A good conversation is where you say hardly anything at all, and are able to get the girl to do most of the talking for you. Every now and then you should get a chance to butt in and tell her little details about your own life.

A little more. The restaurant I would take her to would be this very good Italian restaurant a couple minutes from my house. There are potentially two malls I will be shopping at. One is near my house and is pretty fuccking ghetto. The other one is on the south side and is much, much nicer. Depending on how things go I might go to the other mall just to try both ways out.

Italian restaurant sounds good. Don't take chicks to the mall though. You don't want to be dragged around and turn into smeagle the mall minion. Trust me, been there, done that!

Also, I am not too good with guessing ages, but I plan on only asking girls who look 19 – 22 (I am 20), although it is obviously hard to tell. I might ask girls who might be a little older, like 23 or 24, if they look friendly enough.

I won’t come back to read this thread until tomorrow before I leave

Hey bro, don't worry too much about ages. Sometimes older is better. Avoid high school teenage drama queens though. Obviously you don't want to date a widowed grandma, either. You know my gf is 6 years older than me? Yeah, sometimes you'll meet a nice one like that.

[doppelgaenger]

Another nice approach is to do mostly everything Neo said, but with a conversation longer than 5 minutes, where at the end, instead of asking her for a phone number, ask her if she'd like to go for a coffee right then and there. Pull off the "Well, yeah, I have some things to do, but I'd rather go somewhere with you and get to know you better."

The nice thing is that anytime you see any potential you can interrupt her and invite her somewhere for a drink.

[Charlie Boy II]

nice DM, I'm impressed. I've actually never done what you just did. And if I did, I would fully expect to get rejected. It's like cold calling, it's only going to pay off if you really play the numbers. Respect!

[IndiReloaded]

"I won't tell, I promise." < that's a nice way to ease off of her. She will probably reject you again, and if so, just be laid back about it and tell her something like "I'm not surprised. You're a really nice girl." and try to end the conversation asap.

Nice post, Dopple. The "i won't tell" would throw me, but your latter comment is very touching if said sincerely.