Do you ever become a hermit?

[ecojeanne]

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.

Officer: The car is stolen?

Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, may I see your license?

Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.

Captain: Whose car is this?

Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card. The driver owned the car.

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.

Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.

Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

Driver: Really? Ain't that something? And I'll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too ...

[GrkScorp]

Why you should never argue with a woman:

A woman has taken her husband's boat out to go tanning. Just as she was sitting there.., relaxing.., reading her book.., a cop pulls up next to her boat..

Cop: Mam! I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave..
Her: Why? For reading a book?
Cop: No.., this is a restricted area.., and there's no fishing allowed..
Her: But I'm not fishing.., I'm just reading my book!
Cop: Yes mam.., but you have a fishing boat.., with rods and everything.., for all I know.., you could start any minute.., I'm going to have to ask you to leave now..
Her: Well.., I'm not leaving.., I'm just reading my book..
Cop: Mam.., if you don't leave right now.., I'm going to have to arrest you and take you in for fishing in a restricted area..
Her: But I'm not fishing! I'm reading my book!
Cop: Yes.., but you have all the equipment.., you can start any second..
Her: Fine.., well.., if you arrest me.., I'm going to have to charge you with sexual harassment!
Cop: What? That doesn't even make any sense!
Her: Sure it does! You have all the equipment.., for all I know.., you can start up any second..
Cop: Good day mam..
Her: Good day officer..

[ecojeanne]

last one but it goes well with this thread

A yuppie (young upwardly-mobile professional) opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along
and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived
at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage
to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!", retorted
the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you
didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
"Oh my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody
left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!!!!!"

[misombra]

I got pulled over last night. Long drive home. I didn't notice him behind me and he was following me for a bit. I was hugging the middle yellow line at like 12:30am because there were construction cones on the right side of the ride... reeeeally close to the edge and plus a couple had fallen over so I didn't want to hit any. And since there was no traffic I figured it wouldn't be such a big deal. Well, as I was driving I couldn't see the shitty white lines in this neighborhood and when I finally saw them I had to swerve to get back in the right spot.

Then I saw the lights. "****," I thought. Apparently the cop liked my answers to everything he asked me because I didn't even get a warning. All I got was a "have a good night."

you're lucky. if you lived where i do you wouldn't have even been pulled over. only if you were brown. and then they would've pulled you out of the car and beat you with a night stick.

[GrkScorp]

you're lucky. if you lived where i do you wouldn't have even been pulled over. only if you were brown. and then they would've pulled you out of the car and beat you with a night stick.

In the criminal justice system.., there are two types of defendants..

Those that are innocent,
and black people..

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

^^^lol....