I get rejected after showing my photo..my heart breaks

[sookie6]

He's 25,half french half italian , lives near lille, is funny,smart ... He needs to break up with her because she's a baaad woman .

And OP, You look fine. Just I thought You were younger a bit But that's just me ,I'm just 20 hehe .But still You're not bad looking I don't understand what she is looking for...Brad Pitt?

I am sorry Papillon I am down South + I am too old for him.

But it's nice to think of me I'm very flattered!

x

[Petit Papillon]

I am sorry Papillon I am down South + I am too old for him.

But it's nice to think of me I'm very flattered!

x

Haha no problem Last question... So how old are You??

[sookie6]

I am well over 30 Papillon!!!

[Roymax]

Thanks everyone, especially the ladies. Your feedback really means a lot to me because I don't get second opinions out in the open about my looks. You have helped cheered my day because I was really down and hurting. Honestly, over the years I have really doubted myself. I do take very good care of my body by working out at the gym and eating right. I am super confident when it comes to training and competing in races but when it comes to women my confidence is uncertain. I guess I'm too hard on myself.

This may be the reason why I am here. I just need help on developing my social skills more after being in a long 8 year relationship. It's sucks to start all over again. My ex was gorgeous and thought I'd never have someone like her again. I'm embarrassed to say this but it's been a long 3 1/2 years since I've been in a relationship since my divorce. I have my heart to give but only to the right woman. Loyalty has always been the strongest part of my character.

[Roymax]

I saw your pic, I think you are an attractive guy. I thought you were going to be an ogre. Like I mentioned earlier. Get out an mingle with the ladies face to face. You're Good Enough, You're Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like You.

You think I'm attractive? wow, thanks (not that I'm trying to flirt with you)

[Roymax]

Roymax

There is nothing wrong with your looks.

The only question when you meet someone is are you their type or not.

Some people have unrealistic expectations and consider their partner like a trophey. They want to be seen with a beauty even if the so-called beauty is half a wit.

On the other side can you deny that you got your world upside down when you saw how pretty whe was..hence the pain of the rejection...

Now pick up the pieces of your shattered heart and invest other pastures!!!

Also did I say: Internet dating sucks! Better stick to real life!

thanks

type? can you give me an example...is it just the physical characteristic features of a person?

[SamFrmMelbourne]

Roymax, you don't look bad at all, definitely above average. You project positive energy in your pictures, which is great given the fact that you have gone through difficult life-changing moments. Positivity is always a good thing, besides confidence. Don't let one rejection drags you down.

And just to add on to everyone else's comment: Offline is better than online.

If you want to boost up your confidence, I suggest talking to ANYONE you have the chance to talk to out there. Even those who you don't consider unattractive or have no intention to have a relationship with. This is a 'practice' session before you get into the real thing with your love interest. As a bonus, you get to make friends in the process.

[green17]

This has happened to many people who have used internet dating sites. Not everybody is going to be attracted to you.

[Roymax]

Thanks Sam, I try to have maintain a positive looking body. Smiling and good eye contact is one of my good habit features. Unfortunately, there is so much of yourself you can reveal on line and it is different compared to when you meet that person offline. I know this because I met my ex wife of 8 years in a AOL chat room but in person she was a lot different. LOL I was fearful she would have rejected me when I sent my photos to her because she was very beautiful. To my surprise the relationship went to another level and the rest was history. I thought I'd have the same luck again but I can't get lucky all the time.


You're absolutely right considering that I have been out of the dating scene for the last 12 years. I should do some off line attempts until I get the results I'm looking for. I shouldn't let 1 rejection get me down besides with the feedback I've been getting on here it will help reassure me that I won't have all the women run out of the room when I walk in. I will pursue both on and off line until something clicks.

green17, your right not everyone will find me attractive but Sam is right i shouldn't let 1 girl pull me down.

[Roymax]

Here's an update: This morning we chatted again. I asked why she wasn't responding earlier. She told me that she was too busy with school and that she was out a lot. She asked me how I was doing. We talked for about 45 minutes and some of it was intimate. She is very open minded but doesn't want to meet anyone in person from on line. (some people on line are like that which is understandable) I told her I thought she had stop speaking to me because of my photo. She said..no..no. it wasn't that. She said I had a nice smile and looks weren't so important and that I did look nice. It wasn't rejection since she just can't spend much time online during her busy schedule while doing school at the same time. I figured this since she is rarely appearing in the chat room anymore it does confirm it to be true. Oh, well that's what happens when you jump to conclusions so quickly. I simply over reacted over nothing because I misunderstood her and underestimated myself.

As for today, I am going to do the off line approach by meeting with this girl my friend told me about. He says she is a hot blonde who works in tanning/ massage salon. I can't wait to meet with her.

[sookie6]

He says she is a hot blonde who works in tanning/ massage salon. I can't wait to meet with her.

Careful Roy you seem to be going for looks too!

You also mentioned more than once that you ex partner was extremely beautiful....

Try to be as open-minded as you would like the women to be in your search for love!!!!

[Roymax]

sookie6, yes your absolutely right. I can't make the same mistake I did when I was younger. I'm not that person anymore. Sure she may be hot according to what my friend says but that should not be the most important thing on my list. The heart is where I need to focus more on. Now if she isn't hot I'm not going to instantly write her off because I want to learn to accept people for who they really are as a person when I first meet them. No one is perfect and I'm no where near it myself. First off, I don't like to reject women because if nothing comes of it I've at least made a new friend. Unless she is mean and cold to me in a really bad way or is dishonest. I also will have to be prepared for some hard core rejection that may come from her. Come on bring it on... David is right I should learn to love rejection. I shouldn't look at it as my enemy. I just can't let it get the best of me. I must learn how to embrace it and become stronger.

[Asip4u]

Dude, same thing kept happening to me awhile back. You know what i noticed? For most part, you should forget about girls that you meet online...Go out to a coffee shop, library and so on. I found it to be so much easier. Too many things to read when you're chatting online and so you end up thinking you're the problem. Trust me, going out works much better.

[Lovable]

I saw your picture & I think you look just fine Roymax. Sounds like you got your answer to why she didn't respond right away either. Was just bad timing when you sent your pic & she was busy.

If you live in Chicago as I noticed from the train in the background of 1 of your pics. There's a ton of ways to meet women in Chicago. Well, not so many now as it's so damn cold, but if you've lived here for any length of time you know spring & summer is where it's at in Chicago.

Go out & mingle with real life girls. Good luck with the girl that your friend told you about.

[cmacattack1]

Thanks everyone, especially the ladies. Your feedback really means a lot to me because I don't get second opinions out in the open about my looks. You have helped cheered my day because I was really down and hurting. Honestly, over the years I have really doubted myself. I do take very good care of my body by working out at the gym and eating right. I am super confident when it comes to training and competing in races but when it comes to women my confidence is uncertain. I guess I'm too hard on myself.

This may be the reason why I am here. I just need help on developing my social skills more after being in a long 8 year relationship. It's sucks to start all over again. My ex was gorgeous and thought I'd never have someone like her again. I'm embarrassed to say this but it's been a long 3 1/2 years since I've been in a relationship since my divorce. I have my heart to give but only to the right woman. Loyalty has always been the strongest part of my character.

I am very similar to you. I've always been good at working out and everything, but despite all that, the feeling of confidence doesn't just project from that. You probably have some self esteem issues and I know exactly how you feel. I've always been uncertain with girls, especially sober. You are always self conscious, and you want them to like you and you try too hard. I get it exactly.

You more or less know what your strong points are right? Are you a funny goofball (like me)? Just play to that. I make fun of myself all the time and it works. Are you more the intellegent, quieter type? Play to that too. Quieter people are usually pretty good listeners and that's a great quality to have in a mate. Ask them questions and listen to their answers and talk to them about them. That never hurts.

I'm sure at your age, people are looking for more serious more to settle down. I know it's difficult, it's strange getting back out there but you are you. You have enough to make one woman fall in love with you and marry you. And there isn't just one person out there for us. There is another. Don't rush into it, let it develop naturally.