My boyfriend wants kids and I don't

[Initials]

Honestly, you will both be happier later in life if you move on and find other people who share your child rearing preference.

Please, listen to this. You're looking at, if you stay together with him, a long, long road of resentment. I've known far too many people miserable from a choice like this to want to let anyone else mess up like that. Resentment isn't actually a bad scenario, either. It's one of the better ones. An average scenario, you'll break up, or he'll cheat on you to have children. It sounds like it would never happen, but it does.

Trust me, it is for the best that you've broken up.

[qwertz]

you asked for opinions - your getting them.

stop being so damn self centred. you dont want kids, he does...your not a match there is nothing wrong with either choice just pull your head out of your arse and move on.

Oh and when i said put kids first..i meant in life and in general..but of course yuou have to make time for your OH aswell away from the kids.

And the more you post the more you sound like a whinger.

He wont be able to switch off his feelings just like that- hes probably got a slight feeling that he may be able to change your mind so he can have children with the woman he loves. I genuinly hope you can sort it out so you both are happy, but remember that good, lasting relationships are all about compromise.

[Petit Papillon]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_Iel-u709A"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_Iel-u709A[/ame]

Amazing how no one says "he should have told you a long time ago that he for sure wanted kids."

If it's the thing You wanted to hear,why You started a new thread instead of looking into the mirror and telling it to Yourself ' he should have told you a long time ago that he for sure wanted kids.' hmm?

"Selfish" is such an overused term. EVERYBODY is selfish.

Screw it. I am better off without this loser. I'm sure in 10 years he will be miserable with multiple screaming brat children and a fat wife who never pays attention to him. Hopefully I will bump in to him years later looking fabulous and being happy, and he will regret not staying with me. LOL

No, not everybody is selfish and he will end up with a nice family and You'll end up with a glass of wodka sitting alone in Your 'big ultra expensive house'

Ahh actually go to Jerry Springer, he loves such stories

[CocoChanel]

There aren't many men in this world who want the responsibility of a father. I agree with your boyfriend. He should move on and find someone who wants to love and bring a child into this world. It's a beautiful thing

The same way you've always known he wanted to have kids, you could have stopped things in the beginning too. There is no finger to point in this situation. He had hope that maybe love would change your mind. Now that he sees you are serious and he is serious about what he wants. He's doing the right thing by leaving you.

[Mish]

And YES, I will look great in 10 years because I take care of myself and my body will not be completely ruined from reproducing.

Give it another 20 years then and you will look like a prune. In the end you will look ugly like everyone else at that age and you will die a sad and lonely death without anyone willing or caring enough to put up with your antiques by then. At least he will be surrounded by a loving family who will comfort him in his final hours. At least he will know his life had some kind of a purpose and wasn't just wasted. You can't blame him for wanting that.

[IndiReloaded]

I want a spouse who wants me and ONLY me. What is so bad about that???

Nothing wrong with this. Just like there is nothing wrong with a man or woman who does want kids.

I would far prefer people be honest with themselves about whether they are/are not parent material. You know your mind, so kudos to you.

You are basically incompatible. Sucks, but happens. Find a guy who thinks like you. Gribble, on this site, for example.

EDIT - why do you want to get married if you don't plan on having children? There's really no good reason for it.

[beeper]

I am deleting my account because I no longer am going to participate on this site since my boyfriend wound up choosing me in the end. I came back to this thread to leave the update. Thank you to everyone who gave me advice and didn't name-call me or insult me. For the rest of you, well, I am amazed by the stuff you people write.

First off, ALL people are self centered. ALL WANTS are self centered. Therefore, if you have EVER wanted anything in your life whether it be a family, a new car, to go out for dinner, then you are self centered! Yes, we are ALL self centered. So stfu.

So many people on here seem to feel that if you don't have kids/family, your life is a waste. I find that so ridiculous. My life is fabulous! I model, get to travel, I have great friends, the best parents ever, and I am very smart and will be opening my own business next year. My life is NOT a waste by any means, and never WILL be! I have a wonderful, supportive family and tons of friends and will NEVER be alone......dying with a bottle of vodka. LOL Good grief! I rarely even drink! Furthermore, who cares who is around you when you die? You are DYING! Personally, I believe in Heaven and I am not afraid to die because Heaven is going to be much better than this world we live in. Not to mention, there are tons of people who are in nursing homes who's own families don't even come to visit them! What about those poor souls who raised a family just to be disappointed and alone anyways? I have no fear of dying, whether it is alone or surrounded by 20 people. I don't have anything against family, I just think children are a waste of time and energy and money. JUST MY OPINION!

As for getting married, well, I would like to get married because it is a symbol of commitment to the person I love. Not to mention other benefits such as tax breaks, etc. PLENTY of people have children WITHOUT getting married, so why would you NOT get married just because you DON'T want children? "There's no good reason for it if you don't plan on having children".... Unreal. I personally would like to view my spouse as more than just a reproductive organ.

Yes, I will look old in 20 years. Not in 10 though =) What can I say, I have great genetics. My mom is 58 and looks beautiful.

Qwerty, unfortunately my head doesn't fit in my arse. Just because yours obviously does, doesn't mean everybody else's does. In my opinion, it is probably due to the lack of a brain in your case.

And on a final note to al of you breeders, I wonder if Charles Manson's mother felt she served her purpose in life when she had him? Hmmmm......one to ponder.

Bye now!

[IndiReloaded]

Wow. You sound like an insane, insecure control freak. Pretty sure that's not the first, nor last, time you will hear this.

Good riddance & thank Darwin you aren't reproducing. LOL.

[misombra]

stupid bitch.

[qwertz]

Well im glad you are so happy and secure that you felt the need to right an essay in response to justify your reasoning.
Have fun with your BF while it lasts as 5 years down the line his want for kids will be greater than his want for you unless your extremely lucky.

[IndiReloaded]

Are you kidding? This woman will be dumped before the year is out unless she gets some counselling. Weird combination of aggressive/insecure. No ability to negotiate at all.

Who gets 'chosen' by a man (or woman) these days? What a strange attitude, like she's some second class citizen? Huge chip on her shoulders over this issue, yikes.

[BoredGeorge]

Babies are important you should have babies. They are small and they small and they are cute. They grow up and become little people and then they become adults who will looks after you when you are old.

[Initials]

Well, I tried.

Honestly, I feel bad for your boyfriend, not you. I think he should find someone who agrees with him, and someone, just in general, more open minded about other people's perspectives. But, he's not here, so I can't tell him that.

Anyway, Qwerty, you've got a PM.

[Gigabitch]

I am deleting my account because I no longer am going to participate on this site since my boyfriend wound up choosing me in the end. I came back to this thread to leave the update.

Great. I'll look forward to your other update, in six years, when your husband knocks up the girl he's cheating on you with and you're ready to jump off a building.

Have fun being a smug asshole until then.

[IndiReloaded]

I am not awful! I am a fabulous woman who knows what she wants. Even if I wanted kids, I could never see my ex as being a good father. He can't even take care of HIMSELF! LOL He is moving back in w/ his parents cuz I make all of the $ in the relationship and he can't even afford to live on his own!

And what do you know, just as I was writing the last entry he texted me saying that he needs to see me and that maybe he can live without having kids!!!!! LOL Unfrigginreal!!!! But don't worry folks, I will proceed with caution cuz I am not getting on that bandwagon again now that I know how his little brain waivers. LOL

Screw it. I am better off without this loser. I'm sure in 10 years he will be miserable with multiple screaming brat children and a fat wife who never pays attention to him.LOL

Too bad this fabulous woman wasn't fabulously smart enough to delete her thread b/f she got banned. Now her opinions of her BF are all over the internet (not to mention Google cached).

Hope you get smarter beeper. 'Nicer' would be an improvement also, but I have a feeling you'll get exactly what you deserve. And blame everyone else for your failings when the chips fall.

Good luck.