what can I do to improve

[shh!]

I think - as was already mentioned - the problem has less to do with your appearance and more to do with your insecurity. That's what I'd be working on if I were you. Even if you aren't the most beautiful male out there (which I don't know since I haven't seen your picture), you must certainly have noticed by now that lots of average (and even unattractive) guys are able to get a woman. Looks, while having the ability to attract attention, are not the most important part of the package.

[pooker]

Yeah I agree I guess I was kinda looking for a "quick fix". Its a work in progress I think its gonna be one of those things that when I actually get out there and do it I will realize it is not as bad as I thought it was. It is that initial hurdle I have to break first then I am hoping everything is easier. I also noticed that pretty much anyone can get a girlfriend if they try so I know where you are coming from, my problem is the approaching part. If things go well I might be brave and tell her I like her next week, definately soon though.

[anachronistic]

You gotta remove the (dot) and replace it with . when you put it in the url.

Thanks for the opinions guys , I do have nicer shirts and if you thought what I was wearing was bad that was actually my look nice day lol. But yeah I already got a hair cut and that doesnt make me feel good about possibly being rejected apexseal So is it just my hair and shirt that gives off that impression or is it more?

Bahh don't listen to that crap. Buying expensive clothing as your 'way in' is the cheapest way to do it. That's a half-ass attempt to try and be cool. And besides, if you have a general idea of stereotypes, I am guessing that girl would not be into a guy that wears hollister, or those typical preppy looking clothes. What really matters is being in shape, and having a better physique. It looks like you're in decent shape now; you have a little muscle, but start doing dumbbell curls, one arm presses, pushups, and things like that. Running is an excellent form of exercise, but weight training helps you build your upper body strength, and some muscle to go with it. Neo really knows what he's talking about when he talks muscle.

I don't think you need a haircut either. Perhaps if you comb it, it would look better. Try some gel if you have curly hair; you can do all kinds of things with gel. You're at that age where you should be trying all different kinds of hairstyles, and find one that looks good for you. I'm still going through that phase; now I am growing my hair our long. Maybe that isn't the best thing for you, but you may have to try it out to see.

You need to socialize with other people. You're probably really polite, so you shouldn't have problems with the ladies. This will help you build up confidence, which is another thing. Pay more attention to how you walk and how you move in public. Keep your head up, and don't be afraid to look passersby in the eyes. Smile at them. Say hello to cute girls as they walk by, even if you don't know them. If they are reading a book minding their own business, interrupt them, ask them what they are reading, then introduce yourself. That'll start a conversation. Don't be worried about what they think of you or anything, just focus on the conversation; that's all you want to do at this point; become a better conversationalist.

[anachronistic]

Yeah I agree I guess I was kinda looking for a "quick fix". Its a work in progress I think its gonna be one of those things that when I actually get out there and do it I will realize it is not as bad as I thought it was. It is that initial hurdle I have to break first then I am hoping everything is easier. I also noticed that pretty much anyone can get a girlfriend if they try so I know where you are coming from, my problem is the approaching part. If things go well I might be brave and tell her I like her next week, definately soon though.

As with anything, there is always room for improvement. There is no such thing as a quick fix. These are things you have to always be working on.

[pooker]

Thanks , the problem with me growing my hair out is I break out I did kind of like it longer lol. Yeah I am polite I can try talking to a few girls for practice if anything that I know, that will help me move on up to the "big fish" so to speak. The reason I wear the clothes I do, (all one colored shirts) is because I never really found my own unique style so I kind of made bland it. I see people with dragonball stuff and gangster clothes will all different designs and I could never find anything that suited me so I chose sold color shirts. That is pretty much my cloth layout for the day, black, blue, brown, tan, white. Those are my shirts ^^ along with the dress ones I mentioned earlier for special events or shindigs lol. edit- also yeah I love running I did did some bench pressing yesterday and my arms hurt lol but that is good because the pain is a good sign of things to come.

[ApexSeal]

For the record, I hate polo shirts, and no freakin' way can you get a pair of Hollister jeans for $30 unless you find them in a garage sale. Try more like $75.

I was actually referring to AE with that example, but I don't remember Hollister being as much as $75 either unless you absolutely have to have the latest just-released-for-the-season jeans.

Some young girls care about brand names, but only if they are stupid, shallow girls. I don't think most females care what brand you wear so long as you aren't wearing something embarrassing.

Exactly. AE, Hollister, Guess (look in the outlets for the stuff that isn't $150+), and stuff like that is just about the bare-bones of not-embarassing, and are definitely not going to get you noticed for the label. They blend in like nothing else because everyone has it and it's cheap. They happen to look decent, and hold up pretty well. Cheaper Old Navy type stuff is going to look tacky, draw attention to you, and fall apart.

and I bet you look like most other people in your age range, anyway.

Yeah I'd concur; you are pretty fortunate in this regard. Finish up on getting in shape, get a decent haircut, and you'll come out looking decidedly above average. If there's one advantage you have, it's in that you already look decent as you are, as opposed to uggos who *need* designer clothing (and again people, Hollister and Abercrombie is NOT designer; if you think it is then you need a better job!) and $200 haircuts to look somewhat presentable.

[shh!]

My kid had a job at Hollister, and yes, the jeans ARE absurdly overpriced. Sorry.

[ApexSeal]

Bahh don't listen to that crap. Buying expensive clothing as your 'way in' is the cheapest way to do it. That's a half-ass attempt to try and be cool. And besides, if you have a general idea of stereotypes, I am guessing that girl would not be into a guy that wears hollister, or those typical preppy looking clothes. What really matters is being in shape, and having a better physique. It looks like you're in decent shape now; you have a little muscle, but start doing dumbbell curls, one arm presses, pushups, and things like that. Running is an excellent form of exercise, but weight training helps you build your upper body strength, and some muscle to go with it. Neo really knows what he's talking about when he talks muscle.

I don't think you need a haircut either. Perhaps if you comb it, it would look better. Try some gel if you have curly hair; you can do all kinds of things with gel. You're at that age where you should be trying all different kinds of hairstyles, and find one that looks good for you. I'm still going through that phase; now I am growing my hair our long. Maybe that isn't the best thing for you, but you may have to try it out to see.

You need to socialize with other people. You're probably really polite, so you shouldn't have problems with the ladies. This will help you build up confidence, which is another thing. Pay more attention to how you walk and how you move in public. Keep your head up, and don't be afraid to look passersby in the eyes. Smile at them. Say hello to cute girls as they walk by, even if you don't know them. If they are reading a book minding their own business, interrupt them, ask them what they are reading, then introduce yourself. That'll start a conversation. Don't be worried about what they think of you or anything, just focus on the conversation; that's all you want to do at this point; become a better conversationalist.

Oh man. For the last time, that isn't expensive clothing, it's just not cheap clothing that looks like you give up in life! And even if you insist on wearing cheaper clothing, try to get something that fits right. It's a shame to waste your build on baggy clothing that's going to hide it all. The point to all this is not to stick out like a sore thumb in a crowd. The average person does not typically want to associate themselves with someone who stands out in a negative manner.

Agree with the rest though. Especially this: Pay more attention to how you walk and how you move in public. Not that you should walk all gansta and try-hard, but just move and conduct yourself with confidence. Be aware of yourself, and be aware of how others perceive you (in a more public place where people don't know you. at school, asshole kids are going to have preconcieved notions). When you dress better, eat better, hold yourself with confidence, you're going to notice that people treat you very differently, even when they don't know you.

Stay upbeat also. Nobody likes a downer, so if you can exude a sense of enthusiasm and contentedness, others [and incidentally, this girl too] will be attracted to that.

[ApexSeal]

My kid had a job at Hollister, and yes, the jeans ARE absurdly overpriced. Sorry.

Fine. AE then. Same exact style, just won't last as long, but either way it won't stand out [negatively] either.

Now if you're going to tell me $40 on a pair of jeans is prohibitively expensive, then I would say you may be a little far out of touch with this generation. You're being idealistic if you think no one notices the difference between strikingly cheap clothing and that which isn't. If you weren't so fixated on labels, you'd notice there's a difference in how well things fit and how long they last. Cheaper clothing tends to be made for the lowest common denominator, and fits terribly as a result. It's just logical that they would put less attention and lesser materials into producing a budget article of clothing.

To reiterate, in case you are still hung up over the labels: take a pair of Old Navy jeans, and a pair of AE jeans, tear off the labels and any distinguishing marks. Compare them side by side, wear them a couple times, and there is a glaring difference. That's what I'm saying. In fact, if the OP is so concerned with supposedly buying into a consumerist culture, tear all the labeling off the clothing you buy. It won't make a difference, because nobody cares at this level. The only time people do pay attention to the logo on the ass is when you go clubbing, and I'd say the OP isn't quite at that stage of his life yet. =)

[shh!]

You sound like a girl.

[Aegis]

Damnit. I'm starting to think my ozzfest t-shirts may not be considered very chic at some of the bars I go to. Probably downright high-class at some of the other bars I go to though.

But I'll agree the more you pay, the better the fit. Didn't think anyone but the wearer would really notice though. I feel like it's mostly a placebo for the one sporting it, but perhaps a significant number of others do too.

[anachronistic]

I look better without any clothes on.

[ApexSeal]

I also noticed that pretty much anyone can get a girlfriend.

lol trudat. Unfortunately, the ones you can get are usually the ones you don't have too terribly much interest in; that's just how things are. If this girl you're after is worthy of so much attention from you, she's probably going to take a little more than just walking up to her out of the blue and just going "ey you, i like you. wut're we gonna do about it?". =p

If things go well I might be brave and tell her I like her next week, definately soon though.

I sorta wouldn't come right out and tell her "I like you" right away, as it might take her by surprise and make her feel cornered. Why not just ask her to go do something? I'm not sure how well you can gauge people, but if it seems like you're going to need something with a bit of an excuse, then ask her to come volunteer with you at some anime thing.

[ApexSeal]

You sound like a girl.

And you sound like my mother.

I'm telling him how he's going to be perceived by a girl his age, yes. If he wanted guy-advice, he would've posted in the "Ask a Male Forum". I can tell him to down a couple beers, then run in there shirtless and give'er over a desk like I'd tell any of my other buddies, but that's hardly being productive.

Let's stick to the task at hand shall we?

[anachronistic]

I don't have to waste oodles of money on overpriced clothing, which in my opinion doesn't even look good anyway.

I wear fairly cheap clothing and I get compliments on my appearance every time I go out. If you can match colors decently, and you dress in the proper attire for the proper occasion, you have nothing to worry about. If you don't look like snaggletooth when you smile, you're in decent shape, and you take care of yourself well, clothes are the smallest aspect of your appearance.