Leaving my wife.. need help (serious only please)

[whaywardj]

No, MovingOn. It is your attitude toward others who are strangers which is wrong. Not your topic.

[shh!]

Ooh, that's it, Siggy. Ya sure are smart!

[shh!]

(That was in reponse to M.O. - not you, whaywardj!)

[MovingOn]

No, MovingOn. It is your attitude toward others who are strangers which is wrong. Not your topic.

Just for the record, the first "Attitude" presented was this:

"find a new job, and get yourself a vasectomy."

I find it hypocritical (or at least a double standard) that you would have a problem with my "stick up their butt" comment, following this one here above. Obviously your forum connection with this person has clouded your judgment, but I respect your opinion anyway, and you are right I shouldn't of come back with that comment regardless. I should of been the bigger person.

Have a good day.

[misombra]

sorry mo. i would hate to be married to somebody who didn't love me, or wasn't happy on our wedding day. just try to be dignified if you leave her. she won't be happy but of course that won't really matter to you because you don't love her.

what do you think love should be btw?

[whaywardj]

Do you not see in your first post the reasons you gave the party for saying such?

[MovingOn]

sorry mo. i would hate to be married to somebody who didn't love me, or wasn't happy on our wedding day. just try to be dignified if you leave her. she won't be happy but of course that won't really matter to you because you don't love her.

what do you think love should be btw?

But it WILL matter because I still care about her... she is still a decent person, we just don't work. What should love be? Thats a very hard thing to put down in text... but I have been in love before, and this just isn't it. By the time I realized, it was too late, which is why I am making the move. I don't want to hurt anybody, but happyness in the long run for both parties just isn't something you can compromise.

[MovingOn]

Do you not see in your first post the reasons you gave the party for saying such?

No, I don't understand why she said anything of the sort.

[indigosoul]

though, people sometimes try to exhaust all of their options in an attempt to repair that which is broken BEFORE deciding to call it quits, and the only reason they have for continuing on in spite of their lack of happiness is that they are MARRIED.

**waves hands** Hi! I'm one of those...

And you know why?? Because even if things DON'T work out in the end, you'll need to understand what it is ABOUT YOURSELF that didn't make it work. So you DON'T repeat the same mistakes ad nauseum.

1. TALK to your wife (I hope you've done this)
2. GET SOME COUNSELLING. Even if it doesn't save your marriage, you'll learn some things about yourself. Esp the importance of listening.

And, if all else fails,
3. GET A GOOD LAWYER. This will help w/your concerns about asset splitting.

Good luck buddy.

P.S. Shh, and W. are probably 2 of the few on here who could provide decent advice for you (no offense, gang, basing this on age/life experience, I know there are others..). Not good to piss them off...

[whaywardj]

Well. That was then. This is now. Misombra's inquiry was well put, I think. A variant on that might be, what do you think love has to with marriage?

[misombra]

i think shh! was commenting on you maybe having a inclination toward making somebody a single mom. if you were a woman, maybe you would understand. imagine having children right now? how would you feel about leaving if that were the case. also you say you've been in love before, how did that end?

[whaywardj]

"**waves hands** Hi! I'm one of those..."

You're posts are always so engaging, Indi. lol.

[indigosoul]

"**waves hands** Hi! I'm one of those..."

You're posts are always so engaging, Indi. lol.

Thanks W.

You should see me in reallife... am like the energizer bunny. I just write like I speak, is all

[whaywardj]

In any case, MoveOn, "love," "happiness," and "compromise" are VERY large words people have spent centuries trying, in various ways, to translate into the shared intimacy we know by another large word, "marriage." Offhand, it appears to me you are in too much of a hurry to end your current venue to be able to give much thought to the many variations on themes those words point to. Take your path, by all means. End it. When you do, the very least that will happen on all counts, at all levels, is that you will be made to look smaller for having had very poor judgment. Only you can say how that perception will affect other aspects of your life.

[whaywardj]

Thanks W.

You should see me in reallife... am like the energizer bunny. I just write like I speak, is all

That's the ONLY way to really write. You sound very well centered. At least, it pleases to think so.