Flirting but in a relationship. Ok or not ok?

[redmagnum]

Flirting is totally harmless.......as long as their is no intent. At my last job, I was one of the only men working with about 30 women, most of whom were married or at least in a relationship. I had "married with children" women telling me I was attractive, I had a cute butt, etc. and it was totally fine. I LOVED the attention and the fact that there was no pressure of it going anywhere with married women, it was awesome. Who doesn't want to spend 8 hours a day getting constant female attention that's completely without any sexual intent......I'm at a new job that's again, mostly female and I'm one of the few males and I flirt with half of the women who work there and I would never have sex with a co-worker, let alone a married or engaged one......

I don't think these women are wrong at all.......they flirt with me a little, then go home to their husbands - fiances- boyfriends whatever. It's human nature, once you get into that "comfort zone" in a relationship, these women are probably not being told very often how nice their bodies look, how pretty they look in their new glasses, how flattering their dress is........so I'm the guy who makes them feel all "attractive and fluttery" and then they go home to a guy who probably hasn't told them they look good in years......and it makes me feel good, because if the girls didn't think I was attractive,they wouldn't be so receptive to the flirting.

[DannyH]

Wait so nobody ever flirts to get free stuff and better deals/service!?!? Using your wit and charm to make people easier to deal with is awesome you can change a waitress who is pissed off in a bad mood to nice and cheerful. Then again I only use my "powers" for good lol.

[redmagnum]

That's right, it works both ways..........like that cute flirty waitress with the huge rock on her finger who wants you to leave a few extra dollas on the table!!!

[pisces25]

I don't think these women are wrong at all.......they flirt with me a little, then go home to their husbands - fiances- boyfriends whatever. It's human nature, once you get into that "comfort zone" in a relationship, these women are probably not being told very often how nice their bodies look, how pretty they look in their new glasses, how flattering their dress is........so I'm the guy who makes them feel all "attractive and fluttery" and then they go home to a guy who probably hasn't told them they look good in years......and it makes me feel good, because if the girls didn't think I was attractive,they wouldn't be so receptive to the flirting.

Why would a husband not tell his wife she looks good in her new glasses, dress, etc? I mean it doesn't have to be constant but I would sure hope in my marriage my husband would make the effort to make me feel special (and vice versa) so I didn't have to get this elsewhere. This is how resentment builds in relationships. Being in a marriage or a LTR is no excuse for complacency and is part of why affairs happen.

When I am in a relationship I have the blinkers on, it doesn't even cross my mind to look elsewhere for attention. If my SO is not putting in the effort to make me feel attractive or good enough then I wouldn't even bother being in the relationship. How depressing having to look elsewhere for the attention you crave from the one you love.

[sjigs]

Hmmm I do think a little flirting is ok -it makes life interesting but then again you might end up getting consumed by it especially if both are attracted to each other... That spells trouble. I am a female - have been told many times that I am very attractive.. Guys flirt with me all the time and I flirt back- all very innocent. Then I met this guy who is very quiet around me but flirts nevertheless. Initially I felt nothing for him but now can't get him out of my mind! I am really miserable bec I am married and he has someone.

[MaidenMinx]

At my last job, we had a regular that came in everyday. His name is Jack. He used to call me love and sweetheart, and frequently told me I was a doll. I would smile and blush and bat my eye lids. He commented one day when he saw my engagement ring that my partner has great taste in jewellery and women. He and another regular once argued over who should be given the chance to sweep me off my feet. I would come home and tell my partner about it and he never had a problem. Why? Because Jack is 93.

The point of my story, flirting is harmless when done with some guidelines. With my partner and I both being in hospitality we have both admitted how much fun the older customers can be to have a flirt with, and they do it tastefully. Flirting is a problem when you flirt with someone who may think it could turn into something more. At my last job I never once flirted with the cute Maori chef that was the same age as me. We talked often but we kept it above the belt. Flirting with the wrong person is literally flirting with danger.

[rafterman]

Women like to flirt with a guy who has a Girlfriend, because women always want something they cant have.

[Vanessa]

I guess it all comes down to each person's take on it. I've heard girls saying 'my man might mess around but at the end of the day I'm the one he loves' but I also know others who would start a fight just because a girl looked at their partner. I'm pretty possessive and wouldn't like the person I'm with flirting with other girls. I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, except if it happened all the time, but I just wouldn't like it. Others might feel differently though.

[---Beany---]

This is an interesting point.
My friend said that flirting is the natural style of interaction between guy and girl, but I think there's definitely a degree of flirting that becomes unacceptable.

It could be a simple compliment, extended eye contact or catching their gaze across a room and smiling at them.

Extended eye contact goes beyond that degree. That "Says" something, whereas a simple smile can be just innocent.

Being playfully teasing or making sexual innuendos and what-not is just guys having fun, and girls should know this. You should hear some of the guys at my workplace with some women, but it's obvious to all that it's just fun.

[TillyParker]

May not be a popular opinion but I think flirting is part of the key to a healthy relationship. So long as there is never any intention to take things any further! I have had a couple of long term relationships and both guys could be absolute flirts! It's what I liked about them and I wouldn't expect them to change as I certainly didn't. So long as both of you trust each other there isn't a problem if you have the occasional giggle with a member of the opperosite sex. However everybody is different and as with everything it totally depends on the two peope in the relationship. And also if your S.O is noticing how much you flirt even despite being long distance perhaps that is a sign you are being a bit OTT. X

[ramramita]

i think flirting has nothing to do with your relationship.If your heart is true,i believe you can flirt even in front of your gf.there should be a trust between the partner.

[marrimy]

it's not ok

I have always considered flirting to be basic human nature, innate within all of us in how we interact with members of the opposite sex, especially people we are attracted to.

There is a clear line between flirting with someone and hitting on them. Hitting on someone shows intent to take it further, while I believe flirting does not. It could be a simple compliment, extended eye contact or catching their gaze across a room and smiling at them. It might be an attractive stranger talking to you at a bar, but you don't say you are in a relationship until actually asked, because you like the attention.

I've recently been told by my S.O that I need to stop flirting with women to save our relationship, as she thinks I get too much attention. Yet, I feel that by agreeing to this, I would be denying what I am as a man, and destroying the one small thing I have still been able to enjoy occasionally in relation to the opposite sex outside of my relationship, and that is being made to feel attractive.

Everybody likes to feel attractive and be complimented, and I am not insecure about her flirting with men. So long as it is subtle, shows no intent and does not lead anywhere. She maintains she does not, and therefore is not flirted with or shown interest in by men. I believe this maybe a slight exaggeration..

What do you all think, especially women?

[Fairydust]

I have no problem with flirting in a relationship, like many posters before me have stated it is just a bit of fun and it makes you feel attractive which in turn will benefit your other half when you go home feeling sexy!
I do agree that some types of flirting are more than just flirting, there is a line that should not be crossed unless you are wanting to take it further and to me it becomes a bit confused at the point when it gets particularly sexual.....some times you can tell when a guy/girl is just trying to be funny with a bit of sexual banter and other times it is clearly more by the way the other person looks at you when they say a sexual remark/how they say the sexual remark etc.

As long as you stay the right side of the line then all is fine as far as I'm concerned. My ex actually loved knowing that guys flirted with me etc as it made him feel like he had a really hot girlfriend and that he was lucky I was with him!

[lynmp9]

i think it is disrespectful, and would not tolerate it

[Girlsonline24]

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