Relationship with Friends

[indigosoul]

I don't see how this is manipulation at all.

Well, you are attempting to elicit a response w/o the other party's realization, aren't you? This is how I would define manipulation. But I'm not saying it won't work, of course. That is a different issue. Philosophical one whether you believe end justifies the means and all that.

[Only-virgins]

Friends with benefits?...I only have one answer to that ... NO. Its annoying to know that someone I love has had one..that would definilty make me call quits on that relationship quick.

[AmIASleaze]

[QUOTE=nomas]You are buddies of the opposite sex. You’ve been friends for years, or at least months. You’ve been friends while you’ve both had significant others. One day the planets are aligned just right and you kiss under the stars. You decide you’re still not a couple and maintain your friendship, but still occasionally make out with no strings attached. This is a totally different, and more commonly accepted definition of “friends with benefits”.[QUOTE]


I have this kind of a friend with benefits currently... I am 18... um... everyone on here calls me a slut because of it and on this board the same screen names are all ok with it. What the hell!

[Only-virgins]

I have this kind of a friend with benefits currently... I am 18... um... everyone on here calls me a slut because of it and on this board the same screen names are all ok with it. What the hell!

Shut up slut.

[AmIASleaze]

shut up ass/hole

[nomas]

You move, she moves, you move, she moves... all very balanced and careful not to step on toes... is this not a dance?

Okay, sure, I see the analogy.

Well, you are attempting to elicit a response w/o the other party's realization, aren't you? This is how I would define manipulation. But I'm not saying it won't work, of course. That is a different issue. Philosophical one whether you believe end justifies the means and all that.

No, here I don't agree. The key is in the beginning: "you are attempting to elicit a response". This is false. Quite the opposite..I am the one responding. It's just restraint in my part, that's all. I don't see how any of this can be manipulation, just caution and not opening up completely immediately.

Sleaze, I am sure that not everyone here calls you a slut. I don't recall ever calling you slut.

[Chlorine]

Nomas-----"I'm too rational to be easily offended. Funny thing..I think my mind has taken over, over the years, and my feelings are held at check. Although I still consider myself an emotional person..but I only release the emotions when the mind approves."

I have thought about this before. Viewing things from a rational point of view. Approaching issues the logical way. Perhaps it may work for some, but not for others. I really tried to achieve mind over emotions, but just couldn't.

The FWB idea between people who are real friends, who have known each other a long time, is a bad idea. Someone will get terribly hurt in the end. You'de have to have a heart of stone to carry on a FWB and not get involved in some way. It's a risk and if you have a falling out, that's the end of the friendship.

[Tone]

I like to think that nomas feels that he is in control when really, he is being manipulated by his own feelings. At the end, that person is still waiting for more feelings from the other end.

I agree with this 100% and no I'm not going to read his essay responses.

[artyemi]

The FWB idea between people who are real friends, who have known each other a long time, is a bad idea. Someone will get terribly hurt in the end. You'de have to have a heart of stone to carry on a FWB and not get involved in some way. It's a risk and if you have a falling out, that's the end of the friendship.

And you lose everything, which is worse than just gaining sex in the first place.

[nomas]

I agree with this 100% and no I'm not going to read his essay responses.

I think longer posts reveal more about how the poster's mind works. Basing your opinions on limited "research" causes for a lower index of confidence in your conclusions..but you may still be correct..it would just be more luck-based, though..

And you lose everything, which is worse than just gaining sex in the first place.

Ah..but you only think this once after you know it's failed. It's one of those things: Is it better to take the chance at something greater than to live life without wondering what may have been? Not be be confused with "it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all"..because here you know the outcome..you loved and you lost.

But when you take big risks is when, I think, you find the REAL kind of lasting relationships...not the kind where you stay together because you're in love with the idea of a life partner..

[Only-virgins]

shut up ass/hole

Only an ass/hole to you...now suck my dick! ..cause my brother is waiting for his turn as well.

[indigosoul]

Only an ass/hole to you...now suck my dick! ..cause my brother is waiting for his turn as well.

Ha, ha, OV.... you will be a delight to know in another 10 years or so once you've tempered some. What a sense of humour... LOL!!

Now, Am I? I think what OV is TRYING to say, in his delightfully nasty way, is that is doesn't really matter what others think. There's lots of ways to live a life. OVs got one, you've got another, mine is different yet again... Only matters if YOU think you are a slut...and whether you think "slut" is a bad thing to be.

[indigosoul]

No, here I don't agree. The key is in the beginning: "you are attempting to elicit a response". This is false. Quite the opposite..I am the one responding. It's just restraint in my part, that's all. I don't see how any of this can be manipulation, just caution and not opening up completely immediately.

I think we have reached a difference in definition. Agree to disagree on this one Nomas.

[indigosoul]

The FWB idea between people who are real friends, who have known each other a long time, is a bad idea. Someone will get terribly hurt in the end. You'de have to have a heart of stone to carry on a FWB and not get involved in some way. It's a risk and if you have a falling out, that's the end of the friendship.

Absolutely agree w/this.

[Only-virgins]

Ha, ha, OV.... you will be a delight to know in another 10 years or so once you've tempered some. What a sense of humour... LOL!!

Why in 10 years? whats wrong with me now? what part of he has to "temper"?

Now, Am I? I think what OV is TRYING to say, in his delightfully nasty way, is that is doesn't really matter what others think. There's lots of ways to live a life. OVs got one, you've got another, mine is different yet again... Only matters if YOU think you are a slut...and whether you think "slut" is a bad thing to be

ummm...ok...I guess...