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Thread: I slept with my best friend and I don't want it to be awkward!

  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    if that were true, this thread wouldn't exist.
    I think the problem is that the OP *thinks* that it's wrong to have sex just for the physical pleasure of it, so she has conflicting feelings. It's one thing if she had feelings for this guy and she slept with him in hopes of getting emotionally closer to him (wrong because it just doesn't work that way, obviously she'll end up hurt), it's another thing if she was aware of what was going on (nsa sex just for fun) and went for it because she felt like it. I honestly don't see anything wrong with the second option, since they were both consenting adults. If that's what happened, she just needs to realize that there's nothing wrong with what she did (as long as she doesn't make up excuses such as "but I love him!").

    Haxan, why do you persist with your distorted opinion even when *men* on this site have said they have female friends they aren't attracted to?

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by searock View Post
    Haxan, why do you persist with your distorted opinion even when *men* on this site have said they have female friends they aren't attracted to?
    sea, go read the number of threads about this subject (guys, girls f'ing their friends and then wondering about it).

    It's not a distorted opinion. Everyone who has opposite sex friends on here are talking about the carefree acquaintance type of friends (like I am with my neighbors wives or some of the women I work with). By those (your) standards, I have a lot of female friends.

    On the other hand, friends like I'm talking about (confide in, text/talk daily with, go out with), I don't have any of the female variety. I'm a busy guy (as most men/women are), when I have free time I spend it with my wife and kids, once in a while I do something with a guy friend. I realize single people have more time to kill, but someone of the opposite sex who wants to be close to someone has a reason (always). Sorry, I'm big on parentheses this morning lol
    ...as ancient astronaut theorists would suggest

  3. #33
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    By "close friend" I mean a person I can confide in and talk about intimate issues with. I don't necessarily mean that it's somebody I see often (I sometimes go for months without seeing my female best friends either, because we don't live in the same town: it doesn't mean that they aren't my best friends).

    I have at least 2 close male friends and I am 100% sure that they aren't attracted to me. I am not attracted to them either. One of them is an old time friend from when we were kids, we never saw each other that way; the other is a friend from uni that doesn't make friends (close friends) with guys easily, so we ended up talking in class, studying together etc. He has another best female friend, he's not attracted to her either. On another thread Cerby says that he has a childhood friend with whom he spends entire days with and whom he isn't attracted to.

    It may be rare, but it happens.

    I agree with what you said about people who aren't single: as a married guy (or as a guy in a serious relationship), it would be weird and imo wrong to build up a *new* close friendship with another woman. It would somehow mean that one doesn't get the necessary emotional intimacy in their relationship. But if the friendship goes back years and there was never anything physical (not even sexual tension) then it's ok, imo.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by searock View Post
    I think the problem is that the OP *thinks* that it's wrong to have sex just for the physical pleasure of it, so she has conflicting feelings. It's one thing if she had feelings for this guy and she slept with him in hopes of getting emotionally closer to him (wrong because it just doesn't work that way, obviously she'll end up hurt), it's another thing if she was aware of what was going on (nsa sex just for fun) and went for it because she felt like it. I honestly don't see anything wrong with the second option, since they were both consenting adults. If that's what happened, she just needs to realize that there's nothing wrong with what she did (as long as she doesn't make up excuses such as "but I love him!").
    You nailed it with this. It's like a constant battle inside me, part of me feels guilty because of my morals and what I feel is right for this situation, but part of me feels like, **** I enjoyed what happened, why should I feel bad about that? And I hate that I feel this way, a part of me is like, go for it, he wants you and you want him, shouldn't have to feel bad about it. And no, I'm not gonna sit around being hurt cause I secretly hoped it would change how he feels, I know it wont, and I'm fine with that. and tbh, I don't think a relationship would have even ever worked out, so I'm fine with that.

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