boyfriend jealous of best friend/ ex

[the piece]

you should forget about your ex and concentrate more on your relationship with your boyfriend. Spend more time with him.

[carl1222]

sorry. guess i misunderstood weekend nights. we do hang out on random friday nights, like tomorrow we're celebrating my birthday which is on saturday but im spending my actual birthday with my boyfriend.

i understand that meeting him that late at night looks bad, but it's not like that. if i didn't have a 4 hour night class then i would most definately move it up so it didn't look like that. that's basically the available time slot and we're trying to make it work. sometimes he doesn't even stay, he just drops me off. there aren't really any places open around here at 11. we just go to each others houses to watch movies. that seems pretty harmless to me.

i'm not testing him. and i'm not fooling around. like i said i don't do it cause i find it pointless.

on a side note, thanks to everyone who's posted. i may be a pain in the ass but i do appreciate everyones input. thanks again.

Just because something is harmless doesn't make it appropriate. Visiting each other at home in the middle of the night is NOT appropriate or acceptable behavior.

Also, see bold ... just another example of an innocent but bad way you manage to show your boyfriend that he's second best!!! So your ex gets to celebrate your birthday with you before your boyfriend does. If your ex wants to wish you happy birthday or give you a (token) present he can do that next Tuesday!!! I swear, pink ... you are going to lose this guy unless you change!

Carl.

[pinkpolkadot]

Just because something is harmless doesn't make it appropriate. Visiting each other at home in the middle of the night is NOT appropriate or acceptable behavior.

Also, see bold ... just another example of an innocent but bad way you manage to show your boyfriend that he's second best!!! So your ex gets to celebrate your birthday with you before your boyfriend does. If your ex wants to wish you happy birthday or give you a (token) present he can do that next Tuesday!!!

Carl.

okay. good point. i can see where that is coming from and how that looks bad. well, we've already made the plans, so i'm not going to cancel them last minute. i will change that for next time. but at least i did what my boyfriend asked and reserved my birthday for him. haha.

thanks carl.

[carl1222]

okay. good point. i can see where that is coming from and how that looks bad. well, we've already made the plans, so i'm not going to cancel them last minute. i will change that for next time. but at least i did what my boyfriend asked and reserved my birthday for him. haha.

thanks carl.

It's not last minute ... it's 2:30 am Friday morning for a date 16 hours from now. Just tell your ex that you thought about it, and you don't think it's fair to your boyfriend to celebrate your birthday with him before you celebrate it with your boyfriend ... too anti-climactic. As a friend (and a man) your ex should understand that.

If the plans are too elaborate to cancel, then they were probably not appropriate in the first place.

Carl.

[pinkpolkadot]

It's not last minute ... it's 2:30 am Friday morning for a date 16 hours from now. Just tell your ex that you thought about it, and you don't think it's fair to your boyfriend to celebrate your birthday with him before you celebrate it with your boyfriend ... too anti-climactic. As a friend (and a man) your ex should understand that.

If the plans are too elaborate to cancel, then they were probably not appropriate in the first place.

Carl.

well, we were going to go to the twilight release party. i guess i can go alone or something.

[carl1222]

well, we were going to go to the twilight release party. i guess i can go alone or something.

Probably better ... that sounds pretty "datish" to me anyway.

Carl.

[pinkpolkadot]

Probably better ... that sounds pretty "datish" to me anyway.

Carl.

haha, a bunch of twilight fans getting together and talking about how good looking edward is and how they want to be mrs. cullen is such a date.

(haha, it's a joke).

[carl1222]

haha, a bunch of twilight fans getting together and talking about how good looking edward is and how they want to be mrs. cullen is such a date.

(haha, it's a joke).

Hahaha ... I got it.

I'm very happy that you are starting to think more about how certain aspects of your friendship with your ex can negatively affect your relationship with your boyfriend though.

Carl.

[carl1222]

Oh, by the way ... Happy Birthday!

Carl.

[pinkpolkadot]

Hahaha ... I got it.

I'm very happy that you are starting to think more about how certain aspects of your friendship with your ex can negatively affect your relationship with your boyfriend though.

Carl.

yeah, i can understand what you're saying. i just dont respond so well when i get a bit of attitude, works better when everyone is rational (funny how that works )

Oh, by the way ... Happy Birthday!

Carl.

and thanks so much!

[Lonely Island]

Pick one or the other

My ex gf was in a similar situation...and it really pissed me off

You cant always get what you want

[LoveHurts09]

how much does ur bf know or do u just let him guess?
u've spent a lot of effort here trying to justify ur relationship with ur ex, do u talk to ur bf about it aswell?

no, u dont have to choose, no reason to let ur bf take away ur life, just consider how he is seeing ur relationship as said before.

u say ur bf is jealous of ur ex and wants to be around more... would u actually give him that time? i mean if u could only see 1 or the other (in theory) - if u answer no then i dont think ur being unfair but u do want a differennt relationship to the one ur bf wants.

[lovesjoyajm]

Not sure this thread is still going on but wanted to add my 2 cents.

And that is - as Carl said - it does matter what other people think. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does. If it looks like you're spending the night with your ex, and other people have the chance to get that impression, then it's not fair to your boyfriend, whether or not it's "innocent". A friend of mine faced this problem when her coworker had to spend the night because his car broke down - he stayed in the extra bedroom, she had her boundaries, nothing happened, but the next week her elderly neighbor asked her about "that young man that visited". She worked for a religious organisation and the kinds of rumors that could've started would've cost her her job. Sure, you can get mad and say it's not fair that other people make comments and form opinions, but they do.

[pinkpolkadot]

how much does ur bf know or do u just let him guess?
u've spent a lot of effort here trying to justify ur relationship with ur ex, do u talk to ur bf about it aswell?

no, u dont have to choose, no reason to let ur bf take away ur life, just consider how he is seeing ur relationship as said before.

u say ur bf is jealous of ur ex and wants to be around more... would u actually give him that time? i mean if u could only see 1 or the other (in theory) - if u answer no then i dont think ur being unfair but u do want a differennt relationship to the one ur bf wants.

i tell my boyfriend what goes on with me and my best friend. he knows i am close with him.
and if i could meet up with my boyfriend more frequently i would in a heart beat, but it's just so difficult and semi-expensive (gas $$) to visit each other for only an hour or two. so it's like we have to kinda just bit our lips and use the weekends as much as we can.

[Gigabitch]

i tell my boyfriend what goes on with me and my best friend. he knows i am close with him.

Yeah, and it really pisses him off, remember? Most guys would have dumped you by now. He must be very tolerant.