My girlfriend almost broke up with me

[VincenzoG91]

I haven't kept this thread updated even though things have been happening, because I didn't want to over-analyze things that are still in progress. We both intended to do No Contact, but it didn't work out because we just wanted to talk to each other so much. It has become apparent that there is nothing wrong with our relationship, except that it's coming in third place right now, after her classes and her family. And I'm okay with that for now, because I have become very busy too. Our break-up made us both appreciate each other all the more. The situation evolved from her thinking that I was handling this breakup so well, to realizing that it just didn't make sense to break up, and that she was running away from the wrong part of her life.

And the other issue that has become apparent is that she was really having trouble being at our place because she came to associate it with her cat that died last June. Two Saturdays ago, I adopted a young cat from a shelter, because that's what I need to do to cope with the loss of her cat, and I've wanted to do that for many months. And since I told Amy that I was getting a cat, she has spent long hours advising me about taking care of a cat, and then has come to visit multiple times since then to see my cat and hang out with both of us. Somewhere along the way, we got back together. She hasn't moved back in yet, due to lack of free time, but I gave her back her keys to our place and she spent all day Monday there.

Sorry, this is kind of rambling because I haven't really thought things through. I just know that I've been happy the last 10 days and I have a gut instinct that this is going to work out for us. I promise that I will give this some more thought and respond to the two recent posts to this thread, but in the mean time, I'm actually supposed to be meeting up with friends, um, five minutes ago.

[VincenzoG91]

Hiya mate i have just finished reading your post and i desperately need your advise so here goes, i am 20 years old and me and my misses have been together for about 1 and a half years, we have the little arguement every now and again but nothing serious and in a day or 2 we have sorted it and were normal.
So over the past week she has totally changed but last nite she said that we need a talk so i thought ok just a nice little chat or somthing but she were saying that she would like me to move out because she needs her own space, and that she is focusing on me too much she needs to start focusing on her life, but she said that we will still be together and everything just i need to move out, so after another little argument she walks off then the next morning i give her a kiss on the cheek and say" love you going to work now", but when i try to ring/ text her while i am am at work she isnt answering her phone to me, she isnt textin me back and when i get home she wont even give me a hug or a kiss.
So now i am getting really worried that she is trying to put me down gently or she is seeing someone else.
Please can u help me on this one, i love her to bits but she wont have none of it.

Aaron W.

Aaron, it's possible that there's something going on, but the way she presented makes me think that she just wants some breathing room for now. How soon did you move in together? Did you two spend a lot of time together, like every day? And is she taking classes?

[VincenzoG91]

OneQuestion, I think you're right. The first nine days were horrible, especially when she came to pick up (most of) the rest of her stuff on day seven. Horribly painful, I mean, not horrible in that either one of us was being mean. But I decided to seize the opportunity to change a couple of things that had been on hold for her sake.

Like I mentioned before, she has been grieving for her dead cat since last June. He was a great cat, and it broke my heart too when he died, but by last fall, I was ready to get another cat. She wasn't, and that was partly because she had him for almost 16 years. So on day 9, I went to a shelter and picked out a cat to adopt. He looks a little but not a lot like her old cat, only he is just two years old, so he is almost like a kitten in some ways. After that, she has been calling me nearly every day and has been over to visit a few times. This week is spring break week for her college, and while she is spending a lot of time catching up on her homework, she spent all day Monday here and came over again tonight at 6 PM, to hang out, eat some food, play with my cat, and talk with me.

Things aren't quite back to normal yet, but in a way that's good. We haven't gotten physical again yet, but hanging out and talking feels so comfortable and happy and somehow even tender. She tried to call me at work a couple of times this afternoon, but I was in a long meeting, so she was almost in a panic when she finally got ahold of me. Generally, we are both very independent, non-clingy people, so this was surprising and touching to hear. I think we'll be back on track soon, and maybe better than ever.