Lost her before I even got her...

[Tigger_]

Yes, i found it....... will i ever love again, i dont know....
but im dealing with it, slowly and slowly... i think friends help a lot... if u have a nice friend u trust, then talk to that person... it will help, trust me

[celebration]

Recently I met this girl and fell in love with her. I mean real love... love of the heart, of the soul, and of the mind. The problem is that she's engaged and will be married within a few months. At first I tried to become her friend and we developed this nice little friendship. Then a few days back, i told her about my feelings. And surprisingly, she wasnt mad. Infact she was flattered. I've told her how I really feel and she even went on to tell me that she wished she wasnt engaged and that i was just sligtely LATE. But she doesnt want to lead me on in any way and has said that if things are to happen between us, then they'll figure themselves out... like fate... this is one of her text messages to me:
"Always remember that this is always about destiny. you can plan all you want but at the end of the day we need to realise that God knows whats best for us. He can see what we cant. so always pray for whats in your betterment and have strong faith! You're a wonderful guy and deserve someone equally wonderful"...

guys, tell me what im supposed to do.. i know in my heart that she wants me but is restricted. she obviously hasnt said anything like this, but i can feel it. I dont want to force her in any way at all. I know in my heart that I'm better than her fiance and will make her much happier than he ever would. I want to say so much to her, should I? GUYS, i need your help. Don't know what to do. I dont want to force her in the fear that it might break our friendship. She's a wonderful person, someone i know I won't be able to get over anytime soon...

Hey Tigger,if u love her,leave her to decide what she wants to do.If you force or try to make her understand.She'd probably will leave the other guy but wont be leaving with her own will.Let her decide and if she comes back ,she's urs.If not she was never urs.I know love hurts.But gotta b patient mate.

[celebration]

Ya Tigger,she's nice and asked you to stay away in a very diplamatic way.You gotta respect that and move on.I know it's hard ,cuz i've been there mate.

[Tigger_]

thanks for ur suggestion Celebration...

things are way too complicated now!!!

[Ath]

I vote get rid of them all together... I'm starting to admir the life of the eternal bachelor.

[Tigger_]

her engagement broke...!!!

[Gigabitch]

her engagement broke...!!!

Update, please. Details?

[Tigger_]

hmmmn, they were having some immigration issues, some family issues (i dont know the exact details)... anyway, it broke....

i dont konw what to do now.. i dont konw if she'll end up getting back with her ex-boyfriend...

we are relatively cool with each other, hanging out quite often, having a chat... having fun etc... i dont konw what to do!! i want to give her space and not to overburden her, dont want her getting irritated by me suggesting or talking about something that she's not ready for yet.... its quite complicated... im confused.. advice please...

[Gigabitch]

Okay, first of all, do you have any kind of relationship with this girl's family? You want to have a serious relationship with her, not be her emotional crutch when she's all upset about the breakup, and one way to help make that happen is to be in good with the family.

Another concern: is it possible that she'll run back to her ex, the one she wasn't over before when she got engaged? I think that should be your biggest concern, and the prospect of that happening should spur you to make a move. I'm not saying you should ask her to marry you (don't do that!), but make it clear that you're still interested in her romantically without being pushy about it.

She's probably very confused and vulnerable right now, and if he old ex still wants her back, you could lose her. Again.

[Tigger_]

Yes, thats my biggest concern too... i asked her casually the other day if she'd get back together with her ex... and she said "no... no... i'm double minded... i have to consider all my options now"... something like that...

im not being pushy, im being myself... supportive, helpful, cheering her up whenever she needs it... etc.. she does keep thanking me for putting up with her mood swings and for being there for her...

Her family knows me... they think im a nice guy... i mentioned earlier that i taught her, so the university is sorta run by my sister and so they know my family aswell...

she's been very friendly and we've been connecting quite well recently... i dont konw if its because she's just being friendly or she thinks of me in some different light (doubt the latter)...

day before yesterday we went to see shrek 3 with friends and she sat next to me (mostly by chance).. and had fun etc.... kept saying that she was enjoying herself...

I DONT KNOW... i'm not sure about her feelings... but she's gone away for a few weeks (to visit her sister) and i think i'll talk about this subject once she returns...

[Gigabitch]

When she does, you need to change your tone with her. You are NOT one of her girlfriends, somebody for her to hang out and regroup with after a breakup. You're her New Man.

She just doesn't know it yet.

[Tigger_]

how do i go about changing my tone??