cheating....

[Lloyd95]

I don't even remember who started this thread. Hold on...

[Lloyd95]

Nevermind, I thought this was the one with the girl who was married and met guy #2 on the internet. I was going to say a BJ from a stripper and internet dating are similar, in that neither is serious.

[carpflounder]

Say you're in a relationship that's great. A guy goes to a strip bar and gets a BJ (yes, there are some like that, Tone told me). did he cheat? I'd say yes. does it mean anything? Does it make him love his gf any less

Good point. And thanks Apache thats some great advice. Sometimes I just want alot of excitment that I dont take a moment to appreciate what I have.

I have a sexual element and an emotional element.

[XPixiedustX]

I have a sexual element and an emotional element.

don't we all? your g/f does too...and if she isn't cheating on you then to her you fulfill both of those elements. Cheating is never ok...unless your in a non exclusive relationship...in which case it's not really cheating anyway...
A lot of guys here said that...well it's just in the nature of a man to cheat or constatly desire and think about, sex with other women.... that sounds liek a pathetic excuse from guys who aren't man enough to deal w/ the fact that what they did was wrong and unfair and own up to their mistake. Even when women are in a relationship they can look at other men and find them attractive....and desire to sleep w/ them ...and many even work on that desire. It's a choice everyone is faced w/ regardless of sex...so to those men that say "it's just in our nature" what ur really saying is women are better at controlling their desires than men. Honestly i think your g/f deserves to know especially if u consider her to be your closest friend...I mean how would you feel if she did the same to you...would u be ok w/ it, if she told you she was only doing it so ur imperfections wouldn't bothe rher much?
i agree w/ shh! if i were married and my husband got a blow job from a stripper...i probably won't end the marriage over it...but i'd still have the right to know and he woudl have to show me that it's a mistake he'd never make again.
...besides when one partner cheats it usually means that they are unhappy in some way w/ the relationship.

[GrkScorp]

look.. define cheating... if u mean sex.. then wow..

yes.. fine.. sex has this "wild, extream, casual" aspect to it.. but we all say we want to explore this version of sex.. yet we really drift to an other direction..

think about it.. how boring.. how mechanical.. how unpassionate would sex be.. if there would be no emotions with the other person??? having sex with someone ur in love with hits new levels of pleasure from sex..

it's really why cheating is such a big deal.. do i care if someone cheated on me??? yes... why??? caz they had sex??? no... but yes.. caz of what that means...

think about it carp... do u really care if your gf has sex... no right.. good for her.. but u do care what it implies.. and what it suggests...

sex brings two people closer.. and that means.. someone other than just her and u.. sex also means that she might have feelings for the other person... caz sex is not some porno flick.. people have emotions be4 they have sex.. unless ur drunk, high, watever..

so.. it's not so much that you or her might be sharing ur body with someone else.. as much as it is.. that ur sharing that connection with someone else..

don't get me wrong.. ur also sharing ur body.. which really.. is the imbodiment of your emotions towards eachother..

cheating should bother both of u... yes.. fine.. maybe u think about it once in a while.. maybe she does to.. but ur not less attached from what u were.. just caz of thoughts..

if knowing that your gf is sharing herself with other men... does not bother u.. then there is something wrong with u.. even if things r not that great b/w the both of u.. it should still bother u.. unless u feel like ur barely having sex with ur gf as it is.. then i understand.. but that's a different issue carp...

we're talking about a healthy relationship here.. i think it would be very hurtful having a talk like this with ur gf...

you: "so.. what do u feel like doing?"
her: "i'm not in the mood carp.. me n' grkscorp fcuked so hard on ur bed be4.. i think i'm good for the month.."
you:
her: "hey.. u know i still love u right.. just caz he fcuks me hard everynight... and we blow eachother's mind away doesn't mean i don't care about u anymore.."
you: "goes in other room, cries, while playing with yourself.."

???.. and no.. ur gf didn't get pissed at u and told me to write this on loveforum... but i AM the reason she came back so late last night.. but she seriously does love u...

k.. lol.. sorry bout that.. lol.. had a moment there.. lmao...

but see... that's what i wish u'd get... cheating SHOULD feel wrong.. caz ur not JUST having sex... ur giving urself away.. ur sharing what u and your gf have.. with someone else... even if u both have problems with eachother.. try to work it out.. don't cheat..

[updraft]

If you are someone who is against cheating... Is cheating ever ok? Is it ok if your bf or gf has already cheated on you?

Yes im against cheating, even though my ex-bastard accused me of it after I started seeing my current bf and I was separated for 3 years....

I cheated yesterday and I found that when I came back to my gf.. that I wasn't really bothered by the little things that usually bother me about her. It was like, I had already gotten laid for the day and I could just relax with my gf, rather than focusing on her deficiencies. Later....

You should explain to her what you did, then she can decide whether or not to break up with you and go get tested for STD's. Shame on you.

[sad and lonely]

i think most of you are younger than me. i'm 34, have been married 11 years and have never been tempted to cheat on my husband until just recently. and even then, it wasn't the case of me going out looking to cheat. it just happened. sometimes people come into your lives for a reason. you don't go looking for you, it finds you.

[GrkScorp]

sometimes people come into your lives for a reason.

they really do... and some which do.. make it the most amazing expiriance of your life.. others.. make it miserable.. but them comming into your life is only the first step... holding onto them.. or pushing them away is all in your control.. and if cheating doesn't bother u.. then, it really doesn't matter WHO comes into your life.. for as long as more fresh meat is comming soon after..

sorry.. no thanx... i guess i'm lucky i don't feel the urge to "hunt" or "spread my seed"... and i hope i never will.. caz i'm just happy the way i am now... and even if one day u DO feel that urge.. it shouldn't be something u should feel like hiding from the person you're with.. just talk it over... most of the time.. the problem is bordom.. or curiosity... it usually goes away... but it's much easier if u have someone who loves u right next to u... so u can both get through it with eachother..

bottom line... lol... cheating = bad...

[updraft]

i think most of you are younger than me. i'm 34, have been married 11 years and have never been tempted to cheat on my husband until just recently. and even then, it wasn't the case of me going out looking to cheat. it just happened. sometimes people come into your lives for a reason. you don't go looking for you, it finds you.

I am 35. I know what you mean. I was so dissatisfied with my joke of a marriage I went online and found my bf on Lavalife. Not very conventional way of meeting people but hey, worked for me. I understand what you are going through I was very tempted to cheat on my ex hub but then woke up one day and said to myself: if I felt like cheating, why dont I just break it off and then have a clear conscience???? Besides, I didnt have time for two men.

[taxman]

i love my gf a whole lot.. and i set only one rule.. you cheat i leave :-|

[carpflounder]

My cheating has gone way down to. I used to screw alot of girls when I'd be in a relationship. With my current gf, I've only made out a couple of times with a chick, got a handjob from another chick, and had sex last week with another chick. And thats been spread out over 2 and half months!

We all have behaviours that are sick. Some of us yell at our SOs when we see the things in them that we fall short on, some of us blame our Sos when we are feeling bad about something that has nothing to do with them. Me...well I cheat..what can I say.

You should explain to her what you did, then she can decide whether or not to break up with you and go get tested for STD's. Shame on you.

I can understand where your coming from, but that isn't neccessary. I used a condom. I'm giving her more attention now. If I told her that would just cause more drama, because she probably wont find out. Plus no one really follows that logic.. (If I speed or run a stop sign I dont call the local PD to report myself).

[TAVS]

Oh is that all Carpflounder. You should be aplauded for your restraint.

[blue]

everything eventually comes out one way or the other today tomorrow or ven years from now.

[Jeblina]

Is this guy for real? It's a wonder there aren't more lesbians out there because of guys like this...

[carpflounder]

Is this guy for real? It's a wonder there aren't more lesbians out there because of guys like this...

I dont like lesbians. I like girls who are bi.