how to know if a guy is being with you just for physical contacts?

[GrkScorp]

but I will address the fact that you seem to think my post assumed the "slut" ( word I didn't even use) should be applied only to females. I don't.

LOL..

pretending to misunderstand the post.. case and point..

Vash, I know that's not what you thought I thought about your posts.. but it was a creative attempt on your part to try and derail the topic..

I think all that's needed to be said, has been said.. from here on, the rest is just jibber-jabber..

[boobaa]

Every human action is driven by sexual feelings. Life is based on sex and therefore, in the end, it all comes down to that... So, basically this topic is quite irrelevant... More proper question would be if the guy is interested in being a father.

[Gribble]

Wait... men date women for reasons other than having sex with them? What the hell for ???

[alexanderberson]

Usually very easy to spot. Tell him that you are looking for friendship and nothing more and see what his respose will be. If he gets upset, then you know the answer to your question.

[DoesntMatter]

If you are going out with him he only wants you for sex

[GrkScorp]

Usually very easy to spot. Tell him that you are looking for friendship and nothing more and see what his respose will be. If he gets upset, then you know the answer to your question.

Err?

If he gets upset, it's because he was interested in her, and she just basically told him "i'm looking for friendship and nothing more".. which is understood to mean "i'm not interested in you, let's just be friends".. So naturally, he would be a little put off, and as a guy, would stop right then and there since you're not interested in him and don't feel the same way..

This has nothing to do with seprating (interested in sex ONLY) from (interested in me aswell).. The only thing it will do, is leave you single, and send off the message to those guys leaving that "i'm not interested in you, let's just be friends"

Now, i'm very curious to see what other marvels this blog contains..

[vashti]

I fail to see how your bit of "genius" negates what alexander said.

A guy who is not interested in being friends because he just wants sex will move on... just as (I pointed out earlier earlier) a guy who only wants sex won't be patient in waiting for it from a girl who wants a meaningful relationship.

All you are doing, Grk is arguing for the sake of arguing because you don't like the idea of sex not being readily available to you.

[Illusional]

Usually very easy to spot. Tell him that you are looking for friendship and nothing more and see what his respose will be. If he gets upset, then you know the answer to your question.

whoa... there's a lot of advertisement in your signature buddy.

raverboy

[Mish]

I fail to see how your bit of "genius" negates what alexander said.

A guy who is not interested in being friends because he just wants sex will move on... just as (I pointed out earlier earlier) a guy who only wants sex won't be patient in waiting for it from a girl who wants a meaningful relationship.

A guy who is interested in a meaningful relationship with the girl will be put off by this "friends only" as well. He may interpret that the girl is not interested to have a meaningful relationship with him because she doesn't see him in that way. He might go and look for meaningful relationship somewhere else since this girl is only interested to be friends and nothing else.

[vashti]

That's true, but that is not what the original poster asked, mish.

[GrkScorp]

A guy who is interested in a meaningful relationship with the girl will be put off by this "friends only" as well. He may interpret that the girl is not interested to have a meaningful relationship with him because she doesn't see him in that way. He might go and look for meaningful relationship somewhere else since this girl is only interested to be friends and nothing else.

Exactly..

"friends only"... means friends only.. it doesn't only mean "no sex".. it also means "no relationship".. and "i'm not interested in you, period"..

So, it does a horrible job is sperating the two.. all it does, Vash, is tell the guy.. "i'm not interested in having a relationship, nor sex, with you, but you're more than welcome to keep taking me places and getting me stuff; but if you lay a hand on me or dare to imply or explicitly call us a couple, that's the last you'll ever see of me again"

And naturally.. nobody wants to be that guy..

The way to tell if the guy wants sex-only, is through the conversation, and there's very little a girl can do to TEST for something like that.. she can only LISTEN for what's being asked.. for what the guy is digging to find out, if he's digging to find out more about HER as a person, because he's interested in her, as a person.. so it's just passive..

[Mish]

That's true, but that is not what the original poster asked, mish.

Yeh I know. It was more in reference to Alexander's post that telling a guy to let's just be friends may not work. It might negate him if he was honestly after the relationship.

To answer OP, I think a better idea might be to just tell the guy straight up that you're not ready for sex (or insert action here) until further down into relationship. My ex from last year told me that, she said it may happen further down the line or it may not, She wanted to know if I was okay with that and I told her I was. I patiently waited for her, I knew she just needed more time to be more comfortable with the idea. We spent more time building rapport and enjoying other forms of intimacy. She was ready 3 months into our relationship and then that also became part of our routine. It occurred naturally on its own, it was a nice compliment to what we already had. Not some big think I was secretly lying in wait for. We've had a lot of other passionate memorable moments before sex.

So, asking straight up works.

[vashti]

all it does, Vash, is tell the guy.. "i'm not interested in having a relationship, nor sex, with you, but you're more than welcome to keep taking me places and getting me stuff; but if you lay a hand on me or dare to imply or explicitly call us a couple, that's the last you'll ever see of me again"

That is just silly. I think you are rather paranoid about how people perceive you without your wallet open. Won't females befriend you without you paying them off?